The Difference Between|
Men and Women
I was on a retreat with a bunch of singles, and the theme of the retreat was relationships, which as you can imagine was of great interest to a bunch of singles. The retreat speaker looked at this group of seventy people in this room, and he divided us in half.
He put the men on one side and the women on the other side of the room. He said, "I'm going to ask you a question. I'm going to ask you to choose between these two bad feelings. If you had to choose, would you rather feel alone and unloved in the world or would you rather feel inadequate and disrespected?"
He turned to the men and he said, "Okay men, who here would rather feel alone and unloved?" And every man raised his hand. You heard a giant gasp from the women's side of the room. The men would rather feel alone and unloved than . . . than to feel inadequate or disrespected.
For women we most want to feel loved and cherished. This was like foreign land to us. We had no idea how they could choose this. He turned to the women's side of the room and he said, "Okay women, who here would rather feel alone and unloved?" I think only three or four women raised their hand, and you heard the giant gasp from the men's side of the room. He said, "Okay women, who here would rather feel inadequate and disrespected?" Almost every woman raised her hand.
The highest need for men is to feel his wife's respect and trust and admiration and honour. So we can go, as women, overboard trying to show we love them, but if we don't also show that we respect them and maybe we criticize them in public or question their decisions all the time, they're going to feel disrespected and won't feel loved. (Shaunti Feldhahn)