In Love Outside the Covenant
NCW 9, April 1994
Q. I am in love with a man who is a Christian but is not a member of the New Covenant. What should I do? He wants me to join his church and I want him to join mine.
You face a problem that thousands of Christians have faced in the past. A couple are committed to the Lord but perceive Him in different ways but neither are willing to yield their belief. How shall the children be raised in such a marriage? Which church shall they go to? Should they go to one or "rotate" weekly between churches? What will happen in the future? Will one or other change churches or will they find a completely different "third" church?
It is possible to argue in circles because there are no clear answers -- at least, not a from a human point-of-view. Compromise in religion yields poor fruits as a rule because ones heart is not in it. Children are divided in their loyalties and will perceive the Body of Christ in negative terms. So what is to be done?
The only honest answer that can be given, which can seem trite, is that each party must seek the will of the Lord. They must be willing to lay aside all personal desires and find out just where God wants them. In the end, that is the only thing that matters for where God wants a person to be is always right. He sees into the future and knows how people change both in respect of marriage relationships and church allegiance.
One thing is certain -- to know the Lord's will may require your offering up your romantic love in sacrifice and waiting to see what the Lord says. Though such may be painful in the short term it may spare you much unnecessary suffering in the future. If you are in love with the wrong person then what may seem wonderful in the heat of passion may turn out to be a living hell later on in marriage both for you, your husband and your children, and further lead to even greater crises in religious faith. But God's choice, even if it may seem strange at first, will always lead to happiness. We recommend you read Foundational Teachings of the Bible Noš11, Marriage: God's Perfect Choice so that you can clearly see God's perspective and find out the answer for yourself.
This page was created on 18 April 1998
Last updated on 18 April 1998
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