Chag sameach Sukkot and welcome to the fourth day of the Feast of Tabernacles.

Sukkot (Tabernacles) is the festival of ahavah (love). We gather to enjoy Yahweh, our allegorical Bridegroom, and one another. A very real part of that spiritual fraternity is the blessedness of friendship:

"Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: wheoever finds one has found a treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are life-saving medicine; and those who fear Yahweh will find them. Those who fear Yahweh direct their friendship aright, for as they are, so are their neighbours also" (Sirach 6:14-17, NRSV).

It is hard these days to find good friends. False friends are a dime-a-dozen. They will desert you when the going gets tough or when they have no further use for you. True Christians/Messianics ought to be lifelong friends.

The gift of friendship is of inestimable value. When a certain level of intimacy had been reached born of consistent loyalty, Yah'shua (Jesus) said to His closest talmidim (disciples):

"This is My mitzvah (commandment), that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for ones friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing: but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from My Father" (John 15:12-15, NRSV).

Here, then, is a description of the marriage relationship, of that which obtains between intimate friends. And friendship is an essential part of marriage. The husband shares all that Elohim (God) reveals to him with his wife, just as Yah'shua (Jesus) revealed all His Heavenly Father had revealed to Him to His talmidim (disciples). It's a completely open channel.

Such a relationship obtains between Yah'shua (Jesus) and His Bride because His Bride is obedient. Obedience affirms trustworthiness, reliability and loyalty. Such are the children of the first resurrection. But where there is disobedience, there is no friendship, only a master-servant relationship, and such are the children of the second resurrection. The same divine tavnith or pattern is true of the Husband-Wife relationship too and that is why Scripture makes sure believers understand the direct correspondence (Eph.5:22-24).

We should not confuse friends with pleasant acquaintances. Outside of marriage (and even then not everyone is fortunate because of bad matrimonial alliances) it is a blessed thing if we can manage to gather two or three solid friends in our journey through life. For the believer, the best of all friendships are undoubtedly those in which Elohim's (God's) presence is the fullest. Friendships with those without Elohim (God) can be good but they cannot compare with the friendships between brothers and sisters in whom there is a strong presence of the Ruach (Spirit). The greatest friendships are therefore unsought because Elohim (God) Himself brings them into your life.

True friendship is all about allegiance and loyalty. Ours is an intense allegiance and loyalty to the Saviour especially. And whilst this friendship includes a doctrine and implies a philosophy, it is in essence a Person. It is personal, intimate, and intense, and accordingly Yah'shua (Jesus) uses symbolic language to express that closeness:

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in Him, he will bear much fruit" (John 15:5, NIV).

In this picture we are to imagine a shared sap, which represents here chayim (life) and nourishment, as between the branches and the vine. So it is between wives and husbands, and between talmidim (disciples) and the Messiah.

If true Christian friends are chosen for us by Elohim (God), then what principle of the Most High is in operation that binds such friends together? Our friendships are sealed, I believe, by that hidden law of sympathy and not by our conscious wills. We don't just one day step out from the cold and 'choose' to be friends with people. More often than not we get the full quality of their personality at the first shock of meeting, and no future intimacy changes that quality. Not that it has to be suddden like that, of course, because some friendships develop gradually.

A true friend is someone we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults, even as Messiah loves us. A true friend will speak the honest truth to us while the world flatters us to our face and laughs at us behind our back. A true friend will give counsel and reproof in the days of our prosperity and self-conceit. A true friend will comfort and encourage us in the day of difficulty and sorrow, when the world leaves us alone to fight our battle as best we can. So it is only the great-hearted who can be true friends - the mean and the cowardly can never know what true friendship means. A true friendship is a wholly unpretentious relationship, combining respect with affection.

Sukkot is a sacred gathering of friends - friends of the Master (because Yah'shua/Jesus is in them) and friends of each other. And because these relationships are deep and abiding, friendship is no passing feeling of affection. It combines affection with faithfulness.

You can depend on a friend, even in times of misfortune, times of disagreement, even in guilt. For between friends there no prejudice that defines you, and no ideal image after which one must strive. Friendship is not an alliance of mutual advantage - that's a business partnership. Between friends there is only the promise to walk with each other and to be there for each other, in other words, a faithfulness that has to do not with acting and possessing but with the individual person and being.

It arises out of FREEDOM, whether between humans, or between humans and Elohim (God). It consists of mutual freedom, and preserves this freedom. There is no greater security than in this kind of relationship. Sadly, far too many Christians and Messianics do not see their walk with Yahweh in such terms, and that because they have not got past the servant stage. And why have they got no further? Because they do not yet know Him. That is a function of maturity - of growing up. And it is as true of our relationship with Elohim (God) as it is of each other.

I suppose that is why I am repulsed by religions and philosophies that deny freedom because it is not possible to have real friendship with either Elohim (God) or men under such a system. Now it goes without saying that the freedom is not unconditional, for the freedom we are given is bound by Torah restrictions. Nevertheless, within that fence we have freedom of choice and action. In other words, the believers' liberty is neither an abolishing of responsibility, nor a sanctioning of licence. And remember, that friendship with the world, which would be allowed under a system of complete, unbridled, freedom, is described by the apostle James as both adultery against, and hatred of, Elohim (God) (Jas.4:4). Therefore within true friendship there is both freedom and restriction based on immutable cosmic laws established by the Creator.

Let us continue to enjoy this season of ahavah (love) and friendship by celebrating the Bridegroom's victory over sin and death for our sakes. Until tomorrow!

Additional Materials on Friendship