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11 April 2010 (Rishon/Pesach)
Day #27, 5934 AM
Sprinkle, Sprinkle
How To Water-Down the Gospel

Once upon a time a minister from one of the older orthodox Christian denominations was giving a sermon on baptism. During the course of his sermon gave examples as to why baptism should be done by sprinkling and not by immersion.

He pointed out some examples in the Bible. He said that when John the Baptist baptised Yah'shua (Jesus) in the River Jordan, it didn't mean in the River Jordan - it meant 'close to', 'round about', or 'nearby'. And again when it says in the Bible that Phillip baptised the Ethiopian in the river, it didn't mean 'in' - it meant 'close to', 'round about', or 'nearby'.

After the service, a man came up to the minister and told him it was a great sermon, one of the best he had ever heard, and that it had cleared up a great many mysteries he had encountered in the Bible.

"For instance," he said, "the story about Jonah getting swallowed by the whale has always bothered me. Now I know that Jonah wasn't really 'in' the whale, but 'close to', 'round abou't, or 'nearby', swimming in the water.

"Then there is the story about the three young Hebrew boys who were thrown into the fiery furnace, but were not burned. Now I see that they were not really 'in' the fire, just 'close to', 'round about', or 'nearby', just keeping warm.

"But the hardest of all the stories for me to believe has always been the story of Daniel getting thrown into the lions’ den. But now I see that he wasn't really 'in' the lions' den, but 'close to', 'round about', or 'nearby', like at the zoo.

"The revealing of these mysteries has been a real comfort to me because I am a wicked man. Now I am gratified to know that I won't be 'in' Hell, but 'close to', 'round about', or 'nearby'. And next week, I won't have to be 'in' church, just 'close to', 'round abou't, or 'nearby'. Thanks a lot, Minister! You have really put my mind at ease!"

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