With this
message I will be daring to step into territory that few ministers are
willing to go. I know that as a result of this message, I will not be
winning the popularity contest, but the alternative is to water down
the truth. Watering down the truth isn't a characteristic I want to be
responsible for on the day of judgment.
In this modern day, where
the women's liberation movement has won the hearts of many, women have
taken on responsibilities and duties that go beyond what Yahweh ever
intended. Yahweh created men and women, each to fulfill a distinct
purpose and role in life. For example, men cannot bear or nurse
children and women do not have the physical strength to do some of the
work that men can do. Let's examine the creation account to learn more
about the will of Yahweh for woman:
Genesis 2:18 And Yahweh Elohim said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
We see that Yahweh
concluded it was not good for man to be alone. Therefore, we could
conclude that one of the purposes for creating woman was to be a
companion. Secondly, we learn that Yahweh desired to make a suitable
helper for Adam. Therefore, being a helper for Adam is one of the
purposes Yahweh had for creating her. We read later that Yahweh created
woman from man:
Genesis
2:21 And Yahweh Elohim caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he
slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead
thereof; 22 And the rib, which Yahweh Elohim had taken from man, made
he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now
bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall
be one flesh.
So woman was created and
brought to Adam. In one moment, she did not exist. In the next moment,
she was alive and was brought to Adam to be a help to him. Do you think
that she had any problem getting in her place? But many women today
have totally lost this concept. Many women have rebelled against the
very thing they were created to do. Rather than being a 'helper' for
their husbands, they are often an opponent and stumbling block to his
success.
What needs to happen is a
change in perspective. A completely different outlook. One that sets
aside the way we are raised, the way society says things should be and
looks solely to Yahweh and His word for instruction on the right
perspective. As we previously discussed when we looked into the
scriptural concepts of Motherhood and the role of women at home, we
need to do so with understanding the will of Yahweh for wives and how
they relate to their husbands.
A helper is one who serves another. It is not a lowly calling, for even Yahushua came to serve:
Matthew 20:28 - Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
Her role is to serve and
help her husband. Yet, scripture is quite clear that wives are to be
the submissive partner in a marriage:
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in Yahweh.
It is the correct and
fitting thing to do. It is part of the duty and role of a wife. But how
extensive is it to be? Is it just in the major decisions that are made
or is it in every single little thing? Let's examine:
Eph 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto Yahweh. 23 For
the husband is the head of the wife, even as Messiah is the head of the
church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church
is subject unto Messiah, so let the wives be to their own husbands in
every thing.
Submit, as unto Yahweh? In
every thing? Yes, this is what the scriptures teach. A wife should be
submissive to her husband as if she is submitting to Yahweh Himself. We
know that Yahweh desires us to submit to His will in everything, even
the small things. Even so, a wife should submit to her husband in
everything, including the small things. Whether he says, "Let's do it
this way" or "Please go and get my shoes", she should treat it as a
command from Yahweh. It should be done cheerfully and without
complaining or even a hint of displeasure. Perhaps this seems silly and
trite to some, but we need to remember that our actions are not only on
display before Yahweh, but also in front of our children. Because the
relationship of the wife and husband is a mirror of the relationship of
the assembly and the Messiah, she is setting the example to the
children of how wonderful and blessed it is to be obedient to the
Messiah when she is being obedient to her husband. If she has any hint
of rebellion or resentment at what the husbands speaks, believes,
requests or demands, she is teaching her children how to be rebellious
by her example.
My children are not raised,
therefore I am not an authority on child training. But those whom I
have learned from who have successfully raised children tell me that
half the battle is in the husband and wife having the right
relationship. If the husband is cruel, harsh and easily angered, this
is how the children will often view Yahweh. If the wife is proud,
rebellious, treats her husband like he is a fool, they will have a far
greater difficulty submitting to Yahweh properly, if they ever even
have a desire to. Will our children say to themselves when they are
raised, "Wow, I want to have a home like my Mother and Father did!" or
will they say "Wow, am I ever glad to get out of that place!" ? Much of
that hinges on the husband and wife's relationship. I believe that this
is why some families seem to raise righteous and well balanced children
with seemingly little effort, while other families that pour all of
their energies into raising their children find them rebelling later in
life. O, how important this is!
To what extent does the husband have authority over his wife? Let's see what the Torah says:
Numbers
30:1 And Moses spake unto the heads of the tribes concerning the
children of Israel, saying, This is the thing which Yahweh hath
commanded. 2 If a man vow a vow unto Yahweh, or swear an oath to bind
his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do
according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth. 3 If a woman also
vow a vow unto Yahweh, and bind herself by a bond, being in her
father's house in her youth; 4 And her father hear her vow, and her
bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his
peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith
she hath bound her soul shall stand. 5 But if her father disallow her
in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds
wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and Yahweh shall
forgive her, because her father disallowed her. 6 And if she had at all
an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith
she bound her soul; 7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at
her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her
bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. 8 But if her husband
disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow
which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith
she bound her soul, of none effect: and Yahweh shall forgive her.
Here we see that the
husband's authority even extends to the wife's speech. He can even
annul a vow that she has spoken, make it to no effect in the eyes of
Yahweh and Yahweh will accept it! His authority appears to be equal to
that of a Father over his daughter. This may be difficult for many to
accept, but it is true and it is right there in the word of Yahweh.
This is so far from the way of the world today! Yet, there is nothing
new under the sun:
Isaiah 3:12
As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over
them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy
the way of thy paths.
Sisters, it is time for a change in perspective. A perspective that is in unity with the word of Yahweh.
Don't let the enemy lie to
you, there is freedom in the ways of Yahweh! To the world, all of our
obedience looks like bondage, but we know how much it sets us free. It
isn't bondage at all, it is the way of Yahweh! The ways of Yahweh are
truth, light and love. It is the enemies of Yahweh that call it bondage:
1 John 5:2
By this we know that we love the children of Elohim, when we love
Elohim, and keep his commandments. 3 For this is the love of Elohim,
that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
It is rebellion that is in the heart of Satan. It is written:
Isaiah 14:12 How
art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art
thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! 13 For
thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt
my throne above the stars of Elohim: I will sit also upon the mount of
the congregation, in the sides of the north: 14 I will ascend above the
heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. 15 Yet thou shalt
be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.
Rebellion against Yahweh's authority is
Satan's desire. He wanted to be exalted and in the position of the one
to whom he had to submit. He wanted to be 'like the Most High'. The
women who want to lead, and aspire to be like their husbands in matters
of authority are not following Yahweh's leading, but rather the desire
of Yahweh's enemy! This is very dangerous ground for a wife to tread.
Eve (Chawwah) apparently had the same aspirations in the garden of
Eden, to be like Elohim knowing good and evil. Satan fed her these
aspirations:
Genesis 3:4 And the
serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5 For Elohim doth
know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened,
and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
She chose to eat the fruit, to be like
the Most High. Women must be on guard against this form of Rebellion!
There are many forms of it. One of them is contentiousness:
Proverbs 21:19 - It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.Let
it not be so among the sisters in the faith. If a woman should be
submissive to her husband as unto Yahweh, then her contentiousness is
also like contending with Yahweh:
Isaiah 45:9 Woe unto him
that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the
potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it,
What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands?
Yahweh has placed the husbands in the
position of authority over the wives, not unlike Yahweh placed Moshe in
the position of authority over the children of Israel. In every case
that the children of Israel spoke against Moshe, Yahweh viewed it as
murmuring against Him. Let's examine what took place to the children of
Israel who spoke against one in authority over them:
Numbers 16:1 - Now
Korah, the son of Izhar, the son of Kohath, the son of Levi, and Dathan
and Abiram, the sons of Eliab, and On, the son of Peleth, sons of
Reuben, took men: 2 - And they rose up before Moses, with certain of
the children of Israel, two hundred and fifty princes of the assembly,
famous in the congregation, men of renown: 3 - And they gathered
themselves together against Moses and against Aaron, and said unto
them, Ye take too much upon you, seeing all the congregation are holy,
every one of them, and YAHWEH is among them: wherefore then lift ye up
yourselves above the congregation of YAHWEH? 4 And when Moses heard it,
he fell upon his face:
And what did Yahweh later do with those that stood up against Moshe?
Numbers 16:31 - And it
came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that
the ground clave asunder that was under them: 32 - And the earth opened
her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men
that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods. 33 - They, and all
that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth
closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation.
You would think that people would repent at this event? But we read later that:
Numbers 16:41 - But on
the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured
against Moses and against Aaron, saying, Ye have killed the people of
YAHWEH.
There was seemingly no end to their
rebellion. Yahweh expected that The children of Israel were to respect
Moshe's authority as unto Yahweh and not murmur or complain against him. This does not mean that Moshe was Yahweh but it does mean that any authority that is from Yahweh is to be obeyed and respected as unto Yahweh:
Romans 13:1 Let every
soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of
Elohim: the powers that be are ordained of Elohim. 2 Whosoever
therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of Elohim: and
they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
The principle of authority is the same.
This does not mean that the husband is greater than the wife in any
way, shape or form. It doesn't mean that he is her spiritual superior.
In fact:
Galatians 3:28 There is
neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither
male nor female: for ye are all one in Messiah Yahushua.
Some take this verse to the extreme, but
surely this doesn't mean that men now need to find a way to bear and
nurse children, since there is neither male nor female in the Messiah
Yahushua! Every husband and every wife has a certain role to fulfill
before Yahweh. A role that they were created to accomplish. This is
where Yahweh has placed each, and there should be no grumbling and
complaining by any spouse concerning what duty Yahweh has given us! We
need to not only respect, but LOVE the calling we are given and love
Yahweh's will for our lives. Enjoy the blessing of Yahweh!
Wives, you can be the crown of your husband or rottenness in his bones:
Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
It is all your choice. Your husband can only do so much:
Proverbs
27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman
are alike. 16 Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of
his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.
Therefore, the choice is yours to make. But I say, use discretion and fear Yahweh!
Proverbs 11:22 As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.
Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth Yahweh, she shall be praised.
It is Yahweh that we all
should fear. But too often, a fear of circumstances, a fear that the
wrong decision will be made, and a fear of what the future may hold
controls her life and prevents her from trusting. But Yahweh says to be
in subjection, even if a man doesn't obey the word:
1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any
obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the
conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation
coupled with fear.
Notice that it isn't the
constant complaining or wearing down that makes needed changes in a
husband's life, but the quiet, chaste conversation of the wife, coupled
with a genuine fear of Yahweh. Righteous examples are more convincing
than many words. Above all, take those things that disturb you to
Yahweh who can bring about the changes you desire. When
a thought against your husband enters your mind and you know it is a
wrong thought, pray IMMEDIATELY that Yahweh will take the thought away
and ask Him to take that thought captive and cast it far from you,
never to return. It is the enemy:
2
Corinthians 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after
the flesh: 4 for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty
through Elohim to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5 Casting down
imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the
knowledge of Elohim, and bringing into captivity every thought to the
obedience of Messiah; 6 And having in a readiness to revenge all
disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.
This is relying on the strength of
Yahweh to overcome. Rather than badgering your husband about the things
you do not like, tell him how much you appreciate the things he does
and let him know that you support him in whatever decisions he makes.
Remember that any correction you provide him should be done in extreme
humility. If he corrects himself due to your admonitions, any
correcting he does will likely be (in his mind) just because you (the
leader) told him to do it. It is good to avoid this situation and it's
important that he has the freedom to hear from Yahweh. Therefore, take
things to Yahweh in abundance. But if he asks you for advice, then
speak. Many wives I know have great testimonies of what Yahweh does
when she takes things to Him. He can do such a better job! How can a
wife convince her husband to be obedient to the word if she is
blaspheming the word of Yahweh while trying to convince Him?
Titus 2:3
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh
holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good
things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love
their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste,
keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of
Elohim be not blasphemed.
We see that a disobedient
wife who claims to love Yahweh brings about reproach on Yahweh's word.
The best thing you can do to help your husband be a spiritual leader is
to refrain from getting in the way! Many
women desire that their husband be the kind of leader that Yahweh wants
them to be, but they are the ones preventing that from becoming a
reality. Wives can "support" their
leader, but to "lead their husband to be a leader" is impossible
because she is the one doing the leading!
Continuing in 1 Kepha/Peter:
1 Peter 3:3
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the
hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it
be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even
the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of
Elohim of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy
women also, who trusted in Elohim, adorned themselves, being in
subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham,
calling him master: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and
are not afraid with any amazement.
Sarah is given as an
example of a submissive wife who adorned herself with a meek and quiet
spirit. The holy women of old adorned themselves with humility and
subjections to their own husbands. Do you desire to be a daughter of
Sarah? You must do well and not fear. You must fear Yahweh, but you
must not fear what will happen if you allow your husband to lead. It
isn't about trusting in man, it's about trusting in Yahweh as verse
1Peter 3:5 said. Therefore:
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in Yahweh with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
This is what the holy women of old had as their adornment. The foolish women were not so, Job's wife was a woman who prompted her husband to do evil:
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse Elohim, and die
The Septuagint, a Greek translation of the scriptures that predate the Masoretic Text has in this verse:
Job 2:9 And when much
time had passed, his wife said to him, How long wilt thou hold out,
saying, Behold, I wait yet a little while, expecting the hope of my
deliverance? for, behold, thy memorial is abolished from the earth,
even thy sons and daughters, the pangs and pains of my womb which I
bore in vain with sorrows; and thou thyself sittest down to spend the
nights in the open air among the corruption of worms, and I am a
wanderer and a servant from place to place and house to house, waiting
for the setting of the sun, that I may rest from my labours and my
pangs which now beset me: but say some word against Yahweh, and die.
So the Septuagint records a
more detailed description of what took place here. If this is true, she
really did a sales pitch for forsaking Yahweh. Her mind was on the
temporal things of this world rather than on believing and trusting in
Yahweh. But Job refused to allow circumstances, whether good or evil,
to allow him to forsake Yahweh. This is what needs to be done, trust
Yahweh, acknowledge Him in all our ways, and He will direct our paths:
Proverbs
3:5 Trust in Yahweh with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct
thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear Yahweh, and depart
from evil. 8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
Consider for a moment the
great blessing in the home of a wife who heeds these words. She can
truly be the gift from Yahweh to her husband that she was created to be:
Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from Yahweh.
James
1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh
down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither
shadow of turning.
She can rest, knowing that
she is in good hands, the hands of Yahweh. Because she is no longer in
opposition to the authority Yahweh created, she can know and believe
that Yahweh will take care of her. This is freedom. Freedom from worry
because she is in Yahweh's hands. Freedom from strife in the home
because she is no longer in opposition to her husband and her children
follow that example of submission to authority. Freedom from having the
weight of the world on her shoulders. I call on wives to enter in.
Enter in this place of freedom where there is true shalom/peace and
happiness. The place where Yahweh created a wife to be. The place of
eternal life.
In conclusion, I realize
that there are many other areas that are worthy of consideration when
examining the roles of Fathers, husbands, mothers and wives, but the
things I have shared are some of the most common areas where people
fall short in the home. One thing is certain: we need to get beyond the
blame game, wives blaming their husbands and husbands blaming their
wives. There is plenty of blame to go around for failures in the home.
Therefore, I have a challenge, that none of us read this message
thinking about how our spouses need to change in this area or that.
Let's ponder the things written herein with the thoughts of things that
WE need to change. Once we have made the change, it will create the
best environment for the other one to change. None of us will be able
to stand before Yahweh and blame the other for any failure in their
role. Adam tried it and it didn't work at all. Men will not be able to
stand before Yahweh and say "I didn't honor and care for her like I
should because she did this and that". Women will not be able to stand
before Yahweh and say "I didn't submit to my husband because he did
this and that". Yahweh will examine
each of our works in light of His word. He will judge whether it was
good or evil and each one of us will need to answer for it.
Ecclesiastes
12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear Elohim, and
keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For Elohim
shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether
it be good, or whether it be evil.
With Yahweh's strength, a
mighty work can be done. Let's not forget the vision, the desire to
bring our children up in righteousness. But, let's rely on His
strength, for only then can we do it.
Psalm
109:26 Help me, O Yahweh my Elohim: O save me according to thy mercy:
27 That they may know that this is thy hand; that thou, Yahweh, hast
done it.
Courtesy of http://www.eliyah.com/family/wives.html
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