23 November 2010 (Shleshi/Bikkurim)|
Day #252, 5934 AM
The Deception of Sin
Demonic Heart Anaesthetisation
When the devil gets on your back he rides you for all you're worth. Moreover, there is no such thing as entering a sin area and 'sinning just a little', because sin operates its own law of spiritual gravity. Simply put, if you jump into a hole you go all the way to the bottom - you can't just say: 'I'll go down a meter and stop'. Hell is hell and a pit is a pit.
This cycle is repeated again and again, as more of the heart is anaesthetised
The allure of sin is that it claims that at the very least it is worth 'trying out' so that you can say that you have that experience behind you. The truth is that nobody ever needs to experiment with it or experience it. The fact that such an experience can be used, for example, to 'educate' others or help them out of it, is one of the oldest excuses in the book, and along with plenty of others like it, people have been tricked into lives of abject misery.
We do need to state absolutely clearly that there are two mutually hostile worlds and that it was never Yahweh's intent that we should deliberately partake of both of them. A person who enjoys pain may be said to be a sadist (others' pain) or a masochist (his own), and the same is true of those who enjoy sin. To enjoy transgressing Torah is to deface the image of Elohim's creation. It is a slap in your own face first of all, and then in His. Yet we don't see it until after we have jumped.
My thoughts this morning again turn to a knowledge of good and evil, and that tempting fruit. Why is it that knowledge is so tempting? Why is it we believe that it is good and desirable? Knowledge through tasting...what is so good, for instance, of memories from an extermination camp? Would you want to carry such all your life - of torture and murder? Is that good? Yet when you think about it, the knowledge of being hit by someone is just a lesser degree of the Dachau experience. They are both of the same breed.
Satan plays on our curiosity and we deceive ourselves into thinking that it is our 'right' to try things out. That curiosity stems, in part, I think, from a flesh-based impulse. There were hundreds of trees that were lawful [to eat of] in Eden. Just one that wasn't. And yet Eve was curious.
This morning I dreamed I was on a long journey by foot chasing or following others of my family on a long trip over the English countryside, and along the way I was presented with a temptation. The experience of this was of such a nature that in order to have indulged it I would have had to completely forget Torah. That in itself presents no 'problem' because once you yield to the sinful feeling (before the action even), Torah is fading away fast.
Now this is the point: unless Torah is written on your heart - your emotional life (so that you can react with revulsion against the whole idea of that sin) it will have power over you, and the sin will put down roots, because power is heart-based. Thus the anaesthetisation of the human heart is one of Satan's first goals in the destruction of the soul - he rewires us internally so that as far as Torah is concerned, this pathway is bypassed.
Once anaesthetised, the devil is able to inject the virus of evil in our heart. It may require the cycle to be repeated many times to progressively kill off more and more conscience until the heart is dark. In time the circuits in the brain are rewired too until it is unable to think straight. Thus new demonic pathways of thought are established, and like disused railway lines, the old ones of correct thinking get overgrown by the weeds of dissociated thoughts and visual patterns which arise like a fog when we try to use them again.
(From the Diary of Lev-Tsiyon, 9 October 2003, England)