A38. Women and the
Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
Last night I committed a sin I am so used to committing that I barely thought twice before I entered it's rebellious whirlwind and ended up sad and shameful, yet unable to pinpoint where I began sinning.
I was together with my husband hosting our deliverance chat room and there was a man there. I have noticed in the past how the women feel compelled to help this man and the men seem unwilling to dive into his problems. For those who are familiar with the British comedy series, Wooster and Jeeves, he resembles in some respects Bertie Wooster who once said of himself that women were attracted to him because "seeing him helplessly moaning after them with cow-like eyes somehow awakened the mother instinct in them".
What I discovered this morning was that it isn't necessarily the 'mother instinct' that is woken, it is the 'Jezebel goddess syndrome' that gets stimulated. Let me explain how it operates:
When a man has a problem and is open to counselling help from a woman, he opens himself up to abuse. Is this because women don't know the truth? No, but because a woman never was ordained by Yahweh to counsel men apart from her own sons to whom she has no sexual hold/attraction whatsoever! And if she uses that towards her son she is sinning even there because THAT is not mothering. It is important to differentiate between wholesome mothering and the abuse that I am going to attempt to describe in this article, so that when the pattern shows up one can break it IMMEDIATELY.
It is very important for men to find a father and only go to the women his father appoints and only during the time they are appointed as mothers for his advice so that he doesn't partake of Eve's fruit.. Let me first relate what I did spiritually-speaking last night and how it was shown to me in a dream and then what I discovered through it.
The man entered the room and was given a prophetic dream by another woman (only Yahweh knows whether she was a proper mother or an Eve at that moment, I will not judge). At any rate my husband started to help him and I was thrilled to finally have a better grasp of what was troubling this man whom I had been preoccupied with for some time, hoping he would give himself and everything to Yah'shua rather than stay in similar weaknesses to my own. I was content to let my husband guide him. Then my husband who was exhausted that day decided to leave the chat for the evening.
After a short while only I and the man were left and then started something that when I saw what had happened in a dream in the night, really shocked and embarrassed me. In an attempt to 'get him to' Yahweh, I started to uncover him. In other words I began to look for the roots of his problems and inform him of what to do. He let me and in the process I somehow shifted from taking care of him to 'winning' him. I was feeding him from the tree of knowledge of good and evil because I didn't want to step aside. In fact when my husband came upstairs and noticed I was still talking to him he remarked that he wanted me to quit, but I retorted: "but you didn't continue to help him yourself and he is in need" and my husband could only say that he had been too tired. So I continued to 'minister', but why? Because I was an atheist in that area, thinking I had to 'step in' and 'fix it'. And that is nothing short of entering the Savoiur's rôle personally.
Mercifully Yahweh let the conversation get to the point where I counselled the man to "wait for Yahweh" and he left the chat room in great pain. To my astonishment that brought about relief in me. Now that's a funny reaction when you see someone depart if you are truly ministering to them. It was because I instinctively knew I had stepped into a rôle I couldn't fulfill and I too really needed the message: "Wait for Yahweh!"
But I didn't know that, I only went to bed with a sour taste in my mouth. During the night I had a dream I wish I hadn't needed. In the dream the man was visiting with us instead of being in a chat room. In my dream his unclean thoughts in real life were also real actions he had committed. And instead of being a mother I enjoyed the unclean attention he was giving me whilst all the while claiming that I was 'ministering' and showing him 'our Godly way to be'. I even felt partly envious and admiring of his earlier conquests. (Dreams are far more literal than I like at times). Then at the end of the dream I was playing the radio where a group from my native country was playing a secular song and I was joking that since he didn't even know about that group (we're not from the same country) he was committing 'sacrilege'. I was pretending I was playing it for the children when I knew fully well that all I did was in order to get and keep his attention. And then he said something that struck right into my heart: "You seem like hypocrites to me". Then I woke up.
How very true. What a hypocrite I had been. Pretending to witness about Yahweh when all the time I too didn't trust Him because I daren't wait for Him. What had actually happened during that chat was a spiritual striptease where both end up naked and ashamed just like Adam and Eve did in the garden of Eden. And to my greater shame I was doing it to someone I have no connection to whatsoever, degrading myself into whoredom, enticing with nothing to give. Don't do it ladies, and men, don't let us women obscure your way to Yahweh. Be heads and REMAIN heads of your women, stay clear of the rest unless they are operating SOLELY under your fathers' headship as mothers (you will know the difference). And all humans.. wait for Yahweh and don't be deceived by the serpent's 'short cuts' that in fact only take us away from our true Saviour as we try to become our own and each other's. It's not worth the shame, fall, pain and death penalty.
I will trust Yah'shua to rescue me and clean me up, there is no way I can get out of this habit on my own. I shall simply wait for Him and trust that He knows how to rescue even if He doesn't do it my way or to my glory. Thanks and praise be to Elohim for the salvation and cleansing from sin and His trustworthiness and safety, for ever and ever. Amen.
This page was created on 24 April 2005
Last updated on 24 April 2005
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