A9. Spiritual Warfare for Married Men
The responsibility for leading and bearing the brunt of spiritual warfare in the home falls upon the husband and father. Because Yahweh has ordained him to be the family head he is also the family's spiritual covering, acting as a watchman for demonic and psychic intruders. He assumes this rôle once he has made his marriage covenants but does not immerse himself into his wife's spiritual and psychic world until he is one flesh with her. The act of marrital union creates an intimate psychic connection, putting in place a bridge across which both the good and evil in her can flow across. A similar, though less intimate, covering connects him to his children, whom he watches over too. This legal covering is removed when his daughters marry and place themselves under their own husbands' coverings, and is dissolved by the father when his son comes of age is inducted into the Messianic Community as an adult, being completed when he assumes his rôle as a husband himself. Mothers are likewise bound to their children by invisible psychic umbillical cord which should, if she is mothering them correctly, gradually weaken until they have become adults. Many demonic problems are caused in families by fathers who, because they are not wearing the full armour of Yahweh, provide incomplete and therefore unsatsifactory covering for their children, and by mothers who will not cut the apron strings by which they try to control and dominate their children. And in the worst case scenario, when abusive husbands break all trust and instead of being protectors become predators, wives and children are psychically and spiritually destroyed.
Because this is a potentially endless subject, my purpose today is to focus only on husband-wife relationships. As a Christian walking close to the Ruach (Spirit) and in obedience to Torah, a husband will at once become a target for Satan and his demons. In addition working out his own salvation - e.g. problems caused by generational ties - he will find himself dealing with his wife's too, and, if he is not aware of the spiritual mechanisms, getting very confused. A husband and wife are described in the Word as "one flesh" (Gen.2:24; Mt.19:5), which means that in addition to being their own selves and personalities, they create a third entity which may be said to be a composite of the two. This is not, of course, a physical entity since we remain two separate physical beings, but is rather psychic and spiritual. This link is created by the act of sexual intercourse which is why the sexual realm is sacred and strictly hedged or protected by the commandments. Each time you have a sexual relationship with someone, you create a soul tie, a bridge along which not only the psychic energy of your partner flows but also all his or her demons too. When people break the laws of chastity set up by the Creator, they inherit a lot more than they usually bargain for. And so long as these soul ties remain undissolved, a "psychic pool" is created in which all those who have intimate relationships "swim" together with their demons (this I have seen in vision). The more ungodly sexual ties are added, the greater this psychic cesspit grows and the more demons crowd to feast.
The diagram to the left shows a man and woman in a sexual relationship in the form of two houses - blue (male) and pink (female), They are linked in this illustration by an underground tunnel which is the soul tie that joins them. This tie is both emotional and sexual. It is invisible to the outer (physical) world but is very real indeed. In the illustration the tunnel is coloured grey, and that is because this relationship is not a godly marriage - the relationship has not been legitimised by heaven because it has not been done in the proper way. The couple have either just slept together or have privately made vows between each other to be faithful. This is called fornication (as distinct from adultery which is having sex with someone else's wife).
The second diagram shows a godly marriage. It is godly because it contains the three essential ingredients of a Christian marriage. Firstly, is based on a life-long committment to be husband and wife for the rest of their lives. Secondly, there are at least two witnesses present. And thirdly, Christ has been invited to be the heart and Lord of the marriage. Omitting Christ also constitites a legal marriage in Yahweh's eyes but is not a Christian one. A marriage entered into this way possesses not only legitimation in the eyes of Yahweh but also confers upon the couple divine protection, through the headship of the husband, if they continue in the faith and are obedient to the commandments. When the couple are walking unitedly in Christ and Torah they present a powerful front not only for their family but as prayer warriors and ministers for those wretsting with unseen powers.
When a couple - married or otherwise - live in ungodliness, they open demonic pathways into their lives which they share by virtue of their sexual union and emotional attachments, as illustrated in the third diagram. What was created to be holy becomes a habitation of demons. The demonisation of our society had been contributed to, in large part, by the sexual promiscuity which has flooded the West and Western-influenced countries since the rebellion of the 1960's generation.
Where soul ties created through fornication and adultery remain unbroken through proper deliverance, demon infestation results (see diagram above). One of the reasons so many Christian marriages are troubled today is not always because of a conscious desire to be promiscuous but because of all the demonic strongholds left over from previous relationships that have not been dissolved. Breaking these soul-ties and strongholds through deliverance ministry and a period of celibacy before marriage is essential for Christian converts from the immoral secular society, more so in our day than perhaps at any time past. Then marriage vows can be entered into and kept in the power of Christ because the souls of the parties are one and not divided by inner spiritual civil war.
Once ungodly soul-ties have been broken - preferably before marriage so that the marriage bond is not constantly under attack and weakened by demonic forces - other spiritual issues need to be tackled. Ideally, men and women should go through complete deliverance before they get married - this is mandatory in our community for obvious reasons. However, some deliverance can take a long time and it becomes impractical - because of agency and other issues - to do a "complete job" before marriage. In this case, couples must understand that they will have much spiritual warfare to conduct at home, and especially the husband who will, as the spiritual covering of his family, have considerably more to do. In this his wife can be his prayer ally but not a substitute. A husband who expects his wife to lead, "wear the trousers", and otherwise take headship responsibility in the family is not only undermining his own position but undermining his wife's too, because this is not her nartural created rôle.
Single mothers face unique problems of their own and require prayer covering from a local congregation, which is why single fathers - if they are good men - are invariably better parents than single mothers. This is not because women are inferior to men, or of less worth, but beccause they were created by Yahweh to raise families under righteous male headship, and are therefore better equipped in this capacity. Of course godly single mothers make far better parents than ungodly (and especially abusive) single fathers.
When a husband forms a soul-tie with his wife there is a melding of souls. As psychology confirms, each begins to assume the character traits of the other to certain degrees, depending on the depth of emotional commitment and trust. This can be, and is, a wonderful thing to experience. Oneness (echad) was, and is, the goal of all holy relationships, so beautifully expressed by Christ in His High Priestly Prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane (Jn.17:20-23). The goal of Yahweh is that believers should be spiritually one with each other as Christ is one with the Father, and that believers should be one with Christ as His Bride as husband and wife are one with each other in holy matrimony. Divine Oneness in marriage consists of a union between husband and wife with Christ - and only Christ - at the centre. When demons enter - or are already in - the image of Yahweh and the harmony of echad is destroyed and war results.
Because of the interconnectness of husband and wife, striving for a life of purity becomes an even greater incentive. This has absolutely been true in my marriage. When we have found impurities in ourselves which we see are harming each other, our impelling drive is to be rid of them - and their demonic hosts - so as not defile each other and not to defile the image of Yahweh, our Heavenly Father and Creator. Marriage was created for the joy of purity, not misery in impurity.
If the spouses truly love each other and their Lord (as also their children who are powerfully influenced by them), they will passionately want to fix sin-issues. Each is responsible for his/her own choices and acts of sin and each must personally repent. The husband is not an "intermediary" in that sense. His rôle better fits that of an angel (messenger) - a protector, warrior, and instructor. And it follows that if he is to fulfil his mandate as a husband and father, he must take steps to prepare himself which only he can do himself. It is between him and Yahweh. This is not his wife's responsibility. Her's is to submit to his authority in righteousness as is taught in Torah and by the apostles. That, indeed, is a condition of his headship, a responsibility he is not entitled to abrogate to anyone. If he has sin-issues and demon problems, he must first of all seek help from a deliverance minister and get fixed himself. Of course his wife will want to help him by loving, supporting, and praying for him as he struggles to get right with Yahweh, but she cannot assume his office or calling. Clearly understaning the lines of authority can prevent another kind of demon problem caused by, amongst others, the spirit of Jezebel. We have none of us been given the right to assume authority which is not ours. To do so is to rebel against Yahweh's Law and gives demons legal rights to harrass. One of the most destructive forces in marriage is the feministic spirit and its counterpart unrighteous (macho) male dominion Ahab spirit without accountability and an obligation to love (Eph.5:22-33; Col.3:18-25; 1 Pet.3:1-7).
The greatest battles that I, as a husband, have fought have been with the demons of generational ties not just in myself but in my wife's family. These should never be underestimated. Over many generations of child raising, in which ungodly patterns are repeated so often that they become unconscious, reflexive behviour, children can become the inheritors of a terrible bondage. They find themselves struggling with forces that they can neither understand nor deal with, and the frustration is compounded when they turn to ministers who have little or no understanding of these matters. Resigning oneself to "hopeless" forces, and concluding that they are just "the way I am" and by implication should just be "accepted" as a token of "love" by others like spouses and friends, only makes the problem worse, because not only does the husband (or wife) become absorbed into the ungodly behaviour, but the next generation pick it up to and pass it on to their own children. Marrying the "wrong" spouse - one not ordained by Yahweh - can result in a battlefield and leave divorced and fragmented families in their wake. And whilst such scenarios may be evidence that we have chosen the wrong spouse, this does not (a) give us the right to abandon them (unless our life is being threatened), or (b) mean that we were necessarily married to the wrong partner - it may simply mean (and always assume this in the beginning at least) that there are problems that need fixing and that the marriage covenant itself is not the issue. Yahweh can rescue any marriage if Christ is made its Lord and is allowed to be its healer. We should never surrender to the destructive work of demons but stand against them as properly equipped soldiers.
Every husband and father has, as his duty, to seek out, learn, and apply the tools of spiritual warfare. They are part and parcel of a believer's mandate from Yahweh. Many deliverance ministries like this one provide this, training up pastors to do this work so that it is available on a congregational basis. It then becomes the pastor's task to train up others called to the work. Equipping leaders - which includes all fathers - is a sacred duty.
I, in my turn, have trained up my wife to be a deliverance minister in her own sphere (children and other women) and she has become my most trusted and invaluable ally, partner and helpmeet. I know many other deliverance ministers who have similarly blessed relationships. Much of our schooling was with each other and with the first of those who came to us for help. We in our turn have trained our children to do deliverance on a simple level for each other. Equipping them to understand that when they exercise proper faith and obedience they too can "whop big ole' demons" prepares them for the harder forms of deliverance when they are older, helps them develop a dependence on Christ for themselves, and strengthens their spiritual life. We use our little children to spiritually cleanse their own rooms nightly so that they can sleep without nightmares and other demonic disturbances. The bigger ones pray for the smaller ones, and so on. Occasionally they dress up in classical soldier's armour to remind them of the weapons of our warfare (Eph.6:10-18). Train them up young - in our evil world they need to be.
I would like to end this presentation by giving you a personal family example of spiritual warfare involving generational ties and curses. One night I had an intense dream that went on for hours and hours. Even when I interrupted it to go to the bathroom, it resumed seamlessly the moment I closed my eyes. In the dream I discovered I was a circus performer touring Lithuania. I never saw the audience, only my fellow performers. None of the "acts" were typical circus acts and even now I would have difficulty trying to define just what mine was. I had never peformed any of the stunts before and so went onto the stage - which was more like a sealed-in arena - totally unprepared. With only some last-second instructions, I was thrust into the "limelight". Oddly, all the performers were men - there wasn't a woman in sight. They were very helpful indeed, and were evidently old hands. I was even given a revolver with live ammunition with which to protect myself. In one act there was a cage which had a time lock that lasted for only one minute. To maintain the lock and keep the dangerous person behind bars at bay, one had to keep on turning a dial on the lock, rather like a combination lock. I knew that if I did not I might be killed. I had to dress up in a peculiar uniform in one act, and had to perform a routine with words I had never heard before. In one act I was on a high roof slipping over the edge and had to cry out to one of my fellow performers to rescue me. It was terrifying. I really though the dream was real and my life was threatened.
At some point in this long scene I woke up and told my wife about it. She immediately recognised that the "circus" was in her, and that I was participating in something which she had inherited from her ancestors who had been circus artists for real. Though I knew that her great grandfather had been a human canonball I never really gave it much thought, and regarded it as one of those colourful episodes in our now shared family history. And yet this was not the first time I had literally "walked into her world" in a dream - once before I had entered into the heart of her psyche and been shocked by the prison she had lived in all her life. At that time we had initiated some major deliverance work that had enabled her to make great emotional and spiritual strides forwards.
The more she talked, the more I saw clearly that this was not so much an ancestral memory but a whole pattern of being engrained inside her. To cut a long story short, I went into intercession for her (and thus for me too as her one-flesh husband), declared that I would not become a player in this psychic theatre [the Illuminati teach that "all the world's a theatre, and we are all actors" ... which is only true from the demonic perspective], renounced my rôle, and commanded in the Name of Yah'shua (Jesus) and by the power of His blood, that the whole circus be dissolved and smashed.
I was in open vision as I saw the walls of the enclosing arena begin to crumble. Demons manifested themselves, often with huge gaping mouths and sharp needle-like teeth, which I bound and cast out one by one. My wife was praying too, breaking the generational curses on herself. As the circus arena crumbled I saw the audience for the first time - from the back - THEY WERE ALL WOMEN! Not only that, but they sat frozen in their chairs, lips pursed in silent anger. They were dressed in clothes from the 1920s and before, all very colourless and drab, stiff and starchy. My wife explained what was going on as I described what I saw, recognising a Jezebelic spirit in her family which for generations has always looked down with contempt on their men, compelling them to perform certain "rôles" in order to "prove" themselves worthy of their womenfolk. Nearly all the women in her family family refused to be under their husbands' authority, every potential husband of her sisters was "disapproved" of without exception and opposed, divorce was commonplace, and many, many other problems. To this day I have never been accepted by them because I would not fit into the "rôle" assigned to me - the circus act which I was performing in my dream.
The dismantling of this stronghold took many hours. Generations and generations of my wife's family appeared before me, and with each new and more deadly demons. Each one I sent to the Abyss and watched them as they were sucked down to hell, one lingering at the entrance whom I had to pray away more authoritatively than with the others, until the entrance closed up. I saw a large, shiny, flat, translucent, multicoloured polished stone (like a cross-section of a bigger one) which had become some sort of fetish, icon, crystal ball, or symbol of the demons that steered this "family spirit" and watched it as it literally melted like ice before the power of Christ. Complex thought patterns, moulded by demons over generations, presented themselves in an enormous lattice the size of a giant circular mill stone, and enmeshed in this matrix were demons whose function was to steer thinking processes in a circular manner.
During the deliverance my wife's mother appeared on my right side (my wife was on my left) and called me by name, challenging (as I knew in my spirit) my marriage to her daughter. I rebuked and banisher her or the demon masquerading as her ... or both.
My wife's mother had always baffled me by her total absense of logic - I would listen to her talk for hours on end about religion and philosophy and leave the discussion not having understood a thing she was saying. She always thought it was coherent, inspired, and meaningful but no-one else ever did. We have worked with my wife's sisters too, one of whom is very involved in the occult, and is plagued by the same Jezebelic spirit.
As I went against the large wheel, praying that Yah'shua (Jesus) dismantle and smash it, so behind it I came across a giant eye with a huge black pupil - the eye of the demonic control, as it were, the "all-seeing eye" of the demonic hierarchy responsible for all this generational control. This, at length, was assaulted and disappeared.
During the course of the deliverance I was taken by Yahweh to the Bohemian town of Karlovy Vary (Karlsbad) in the Czech Republic where I was shown a demon which I proceeded to act against also. I do not know what the connection was exactly only that it was a part of the equation of the deliverance process.
This went on into the next morning up to midday, a session that must have lasted a good 9 hours. Layer upon layer of deception and demonic manipulation was uncovered until finally Yahweh called a halt so that we could rest.
At each point of the deliverance I was asking Yah'shua (Jesus) to reveal what was happening and what next to do. New connections to uncharted depths of the unconscious were made so that my wife could more clearly understand what had happened to her. She is now so different inside from the way she was as a girl, or even when we first married, and so different from her family members, that you would not thinkthat she was related to them at all, except from her looks. That is how thoroughly Yah'shua (Jesus) can change you!
Breaking family and generational idolatry can be the hardest and most painful part of deliverance ministry, and the burden of doing this falls largely upon husbands. These problems affect almost everyone to one degree or another, exposing demonic strongholds most people would not ever dream existed. In a society which has become ever more fragmented because of sin, this is inevitable. It is reflected in our cultures too, about which we can become so obsessively and irrationally patriotic when in fact they are enslaving us (see Family Idolatry: The New Covenant Salt Sermon. Whenever Yahweh fails to occupy our exclusive worship, idolatry slips in, demonic strongholds are established, and generations can suffer. It is the duty and responsibility of every believer, therefore, to honestly - with Bible in one hand - analyse his national, cultural and family traditions and to determine whether the thought- and behaviour-patterns which they encourage are actually morally right. And remember, if you are in doubt, you have the right - even duty - to ask Christ to reveal the truth to you, which He may do through a disturbance of your conscience, through a dream, through someone else, by means of a scriptural passage being brought to mind, etc..
Remember also that the carnal man is not - and must not therefore be confused with - demons. You can't throw yourself or your spouse out even if this is done rather more often than we care to admit. Recently I woke up to hear a male voice that sounded a bit like my own in my head speaking to me. My natural assumption was that this was a demon and so I at once commanded that if this was a demon, to be silent, bound and cast out. Nothing happened and the voice remained. I therefore commanded the voice to reveal its true identity to me in the Name of Yah'shua (Jesus) and through the power of His blood. At once a picture was flashed into my mind which had no bearing on my instruction. "No," I replied, "I want you to reveal your indentity." Another picture flashed up. "No," I insisted, "I want to see you as you really are."
At once I saw my wife standing before me, but not the usual warm, smiling, loving bosom companion I know so well. This one had darker hair and a haughty, arrogant face. It was then I knew that I was looking at her carnal nature, or "fleshy nature" as the Bible calls it. And it was not beautiful.
For the rest of the night I dreamed I was in an underground tunnel - many of them, in fact, following my wife around here and there. This was an introduction to me of the "other side" of her nature - a nature that is in all of us - deceptive, dishonest, disobedient, rebellious, vain, etc.. For several hours I watched her carnal self at work and when I awoke I was able to associate with the dreams specific incidents where this carnal nature had manifested itself in daily incidents ... moments when she had lost her Christ-focus and another "self" had assumed the driving seat of her soul. Through the bond of marriage, moreover, I understood that that nature was also a part of me - a part of my unconscious system, as indicated by the underground tunnels. And there were other characters there which were either demonic allies or subpersonalities.
The next morning we had a pretty serious conference. It transpired that at the time I had these dreams she had been awake and restless and had decided to read a worldly book which had readjusted her spiritual focus. By virtue of our one-fleshness, I immediate connected to that in my sleep. The following morning we were both totally exhausted - psychically drained.
In deliverance ministry it is important to distinguish between the carnal self, demons, and witches themsevles, because all three have to be treated in different ways. The grounds for demonic presence have to be identified, the doors that were opened to admit them repented of, the blood of Christ invoked, and the demons expelled in the usual fashion. Witches - or rather, the spirits of witches - can only be expelled by asking Yahweh's malakim or angels to remove them directly: you cannot "cast out" another human being. But the carnal nature is altogether another thing - it is the Adamic nature we inherit through our physical bodies from our parents, and it is with us for the rest of our lives. This, Scripture says, has to be "crucified" (Gal.2:20; 5:24), meaning it must be rendered powerless so that it can no longer interfere with the spiritual life. Its characteristics are common to us all - selfishness, pride, vanity, ungodliness, etc., and it is closely associated with 'self'. And the only way to deal with it is to bring it to the foot of the Cross and ask Yah'shua (Jesus) to take care of it. At the same time we must resist its allure to modify and corrupt our own spirit by osmosis. If our spirit becomes corrupted by it - as it does - then only the blood of Christ can cleanse and heal our defiled spirit.
We confront the carnal nature on two levels - the first (and most important one in terms of the eventual resolution of the problem) is taking it to the cross to be 'crucified' and therefore imprisoned until we have laid our corrupted flesh down in death - that is a supernatural work that can only be accomplished by faith in Yah'shua (Jesus). The second level is in checking our own behaviour through an act of will - by, for instance, fighting with our spirit the temptation to do something wrong. This is a process of self-discipline, both for our own sakes and for the sakes of others so that they are not harmed by our selfish actions. It is a stop-gap device which we must use while the bigger and more important issue is being settled at the foot of the cross, and as such may involve a struggle.
Because of the one-flesh marriage relationship, husband and wife should be anxiously concerned about each other's battles, ministering to each other at all times, submitting to one another as Paul teaches (Eph.5:21) so that Christ may reign triumphant in them and make of them witnesses of salvation and holiness. It means suffering for one another. This is why - at least in this very important respect - we should choose the right spouses who will cooperate with us in Christ and not pursue rebellious, selfish agendas. To have a spouse who is "anti-Christ" is to have your life and mission constantly sabotaged, it means waging a war on the domestic front as well as on the world front, dividing your time, resources and energy, and greatly reducing your effectiveness. A wife should be a help-meet and a husband a protector, but if they are at war with each other, neither are blessed and the work of sanctification can be seriously impeded. Therefore the young should always choose marriage companion's in Yahweh's will and not accoring to their own lusts. For a relationship to be life-long and eternal it must be built upon a life-long foundation, which the flesh is not.
Marriage is, then, more than it may at first appear to be. It consists of the intermingling of two personalities and a nature that stretches back to Adam and Eve - a nature that has acquired over the millennia many destructive and therefore challenging characteristics which can ultimately only be dealt with at the Cross. When a husband and wife are united in their determination that this nature must be totally subjugated in order for the Christ-life to have place individually as well as in their corporate identity, then stability, prosperity and happiness become not only happy but exhilarating. Then - and only then - marriage becomes an eternal adventure rather than an obstacle course to be completed as quickly as possible.
This page was created on 14 November 2003
Last updated on 15 November 2003
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