The Destructive Mind:
The Origin of and Solution to Illness
Sabbath Day Sermon: Saturday 29 March 2003
I think it is true to say that people often become interested in the problems of this world, and try to seek solutions for them, when they themselves find themselves dealing with those problems in their own lives. I can think of many examples of this. There was a famous actor who suddenly started suffering from an incurable illness and for the first time in his life threw his energy into starting up, and financing, an organisation to research the origin and cure for that illness. I know of a pop star who did the same thing. Because we tend to be insensitive to what is going on around us, Yahweh often uses people to do certain things for Him who would not ordinarily have done so until the problem stares them in the face.
For the last 10 to 20 years I have been suffering from an illness which has progressively weakened me and prevented me from doing all I would like to do. One might say the illness has become a handicap for me. It took a decade to finally diagnose the problem and then I was prescribed medicines which did me far more harm than good, and created additional problems. So I quit the medications. Life has now become an exercise of survival as none of the remedies offered me seem to have had much of an affect.
Recently, there has been a lot of illness in our congregation - indeed, it would be true to say that everyone had been down with a rather malignant virus which never seems to go away but which hangs on. My doctor says that nobody knows what it is and that there is no known cure for it. It seems to linger in the stomach and intestinal system and comes and goes in waves whenever it pleases.
As a Christian, who believes in divine healing, I read stories in both the Old and New Testaments where Yahweh heals the sick. Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) was the great healer. One hears sporadic stories of healing in the churches today but by and large Christians seem just as prone to illness as the rest of the population. That is an uncomfortable admission to make, and yet it is true. And no doubt many would draw conclusions - true and false - from that observation. For myself, it has been an issue that has caused me much inner turmoil and frustration as I have sought for answers from God. Over the years, I have heard many theories, but none of them has, in my view, got to the root of the question, which is this: What is the cause of illness? Is it all random? Must we simply "accept" whatever comes along?
I do not come before you today with a 'cure-it-all' solution but with a revelation of something I experienced six days ago. It has profoundly altered my thinking. This revelation has not come in isolation but as a result of a ministry that I had resisted for a long time but which I finally - and reluctantly - yielded to nearly two years ago. I speak of deliverance ministry and that unseen world - which is both exaggerated and neglected - where angels and demons roam. It's a world about which there is much untruth and which has been much discredited ijn people's minds by pseudo-Christians who have spoken much but understood almost nothing.
I have been very much impressed of late by the power of the human mind. All of us have, at some time, been exposed to such concepts of "mind-over-matter". No doubt you, like I, have heard impressive and heart-warming stories of people who have been on death's door who through the exertion of will power have been able to keep themselves this side of the veil or mortality. Equally we have heard stories of those who have just mentally given up and who have, as a result, slipped into death.
Before I share my experience with you I want first to make a proposition. I propose that many, if not nearly all, disease-based illness - that is, illness which involve viruses, bacteria, and other invasive living organisms such as parasites - are given a gateway into our physical bodies because of demonic forces, and that these demonic forces are given a gateway into our souls because of mental decisions that we make to believe untruth. I am going to suggest that it is our agency that permits so many of the medical woes we suffer to happen.
I hasten to add that such things as broken bones, bad diet, genetic defects that lead to such illnesses as diabetes, mongolism, and so forth, do not fall into this category but I would wish to add that their healing is definitely within the supernatural province of the Almighty too. I have not, as a result of my discovery, modified my understanding of biblical revelation which indicates that some illness is ordained by Yahweh for our spiritual instruction, some the result of occultic ancestral curses, and some so that the glory of God can be manifest. It would be naïve and harmful to suggest that all illness has a single cause, for it would raise false hopes in people. Some illness, as a friend recently said, is just "supposed to be" and we, in our finiteness, are unlikely to fathom it purpose or cause. Some illness we must resign ourselves to but, I suggest, other types we definitely should not. Their causes are simple and not in the will of God at all. These we should attend to as quickly as possible for our own sakes, the sakes of our families, and the sakes of the Kingdom-building mandate. We must accept that some illness has Satan as its origin and that his malevolent purpose is simply to prevent us from functioning, growing, serving, loving, and knowing greater joy.
For the last decade or two I have been suffering from fibromyalgia, a debilitating illness which has reduced my capacity to function by a huge amount. I am working at about 30% efficiency these days whilst my spirit inside is raring to break new ground and get new things done. I have had to learn to slow down and adapt. But it has been frustrating. I was more or less resigned to spending the rest of my life to driving the motor of my life in first gear instead of fifth. I have been told that the cause of my malady is burnout, and I don't dispute that entirely. I have been a workaholic all my life. I love being creative and exploring this incredible word that Yahweh has made for us.
Six nights ago I was in agony. Any kind of viral or bacterial infection exacerbates my fibromyalgia many times over. The result is hyper-inflammation of all the muscles in my body making sitting or lying down sheer hell. I don't sleep and as a result I get worn down and my immune system comes under pressure. In recent years I have ended up in hospital a couple of times, and once just a few weeks ago. I can get migraine headaches as a result so that I cannot think anymore or relate properly to those around me. And it's unacceptable. Then watching loved ones around me suffer with their own ailments, and seeing our helplessness, and seemingly unanswered prayers, has at times filled me with anger. I have, I am ashamed to admit, like Job forcefully declared that it isn't fair. Why, I have asked, can't we all be healed like the first Christians were by Christ Himself and by the apostles? Why has this gift of healing apparently disappeared? Over the years I have seen plenty of so-called 'healing' in the charismatic churches and whilst some is permanent the majority isn't - the people just get ill again. And I have been made aware of the fact that much of this healing isn't spiritual but psychic and does not get to the root problems. The original causes remain. And hence I have been unimpressed for I have seen the connection between this kind of 'faith-healing' and occultism.
Six nights ago I was in agony. My head was throbbing with a migraine. My stomach and guts were in pain because of this recurring gastric virus, and my muscles were red-hot with inflammation making every bodily posture agony. And so I went into prayer. This time, though, I did not complain. I asked, "Why?" in a respectful and in an accepting frame of mind. I waited. And then the Ruach (Spirit) caused me to pray the following, along the lines of the prayer of Jabez: "Reveal, O Father, the lie that is in my life, so that I may not teach it to others and so not cause them harm."
I saw a vision. I saw a mother and a child. I saw a woman with a dark complexion and a huge bun at the back of her head. I recognised the woman - it was the same as one in an Alma-Tadema painting, a reproduction of which I have hanging in my study. This was a Victorian woman.
The vision closed and a second one opened up. I saw a rocky crag, and protruding from a hiding place I saw the revolting legs of a giant spider, only a little smaller than myself. I reacted instantly, and with a pair of giant tongs, grabbed it and began fearlessly dragging it out from its hiding place. Spiders, as I am sure most of you realise, are symbols of our deepest innermost fears. One of my children recently had nightmares about spiders. I'm sure yours have too. And I am sure the first movie you ever saw of giant tarantulas stirred some kind of terror within.
The second vision closed and a third one opened up. This time I saw a giant snake hurtling towards me. This snake was, however, unusual, inasmuch as it was covered by mousy-coloured hair such as is used in broomstick heads. Without hesitating, I took authority over it in the Name of Yah'shua (Jesus) and by the power of His blood. I saw, to the side, the snake's lair - an inky-black hole in the ground coming, no doubt, from the very jaws of hell. I commanded the snake to return there and then, using the same authority, sealed the hole.
I then went to sleep and before long I dreamed a dream that I must have had at least several hundred times in my life, though always with slight variations. I am back at boarding school, and it is the first day of term. I am struggling to find a place where I can be comfortable and safe - a study with my own desk. But each time I am filled with loathing and wish with all my soul not to be there. But I am forced to be there - I have no choice. I am away from home where I want to be, not locked up in this uncaring and unfeeling educational establishment, where dog eats dog, where there is no comforting voice or warm arms of mother. Here I am returning to confront a deep-seated hatred in myself - a hatred of the British public school system which destroys the emotional life of children but which pridefully exalts itself as the engineer of Britain's élite ruling class. All my life I have defended the system out of a sense of perverse loyalty to it whereas in truth I detest it almost as much as I do the state school system which, though at least permitting children to grow up at home, nevertheless at the same time keeps them away from home, teaches them lies about God, evolution, and society, and gives them substitute mothers and fathers in the form of teachers who can never love them as parents.
I awoke the following morning with my migraine gone, my inflammation down to the usual levels of tolerability, and my stomach back to normal. I was not completely cured but I sensed something had changed. And I realised that at least a great part of my illness had been because throughout my life I have believed a lie - an élitist lie about schooling and the way we bring up our children. That lie is the serpent - the hairy snake, which has an outer covering of attractiveness, which at least looks less repulsive than a scaly skin. Then there was the spider - that fear of being defenceless with no parents to run to, but having to survive in one's own strength and ingenuity, where a kind of jungle law obtains. Layer upon layer one adapts by ever moving away from the core of one's heart which is no longer nurtured because the Nurturers - one's parents - are no longer there to protect.
The Victorians had their code which I was brought up to admire. And there is no doubt that there was much about it that was admirable. But much of it was stifling and emotionally crucifying too. We Britons were taught to have a 'stiff upper lip', not to betray our feelings, to be tough like the ancient Spartans, to 'play the game' and 'not let the side down', and all that utter rubbish. It wrapped the heart up in steel mesh. It created unnatural tensions within and killed the human person. There was no natural outlet. No way that real compassion could find access. No way for a person to be truly themselves.
And so, really, the hippie revolution of the 1960's was, in a way, inevitable. Now you all know I am not an anarchist, and you know how much I loathe the immorality of that period, which has done so much destruction to society. But should we really be surprised? For really they were rebelling against an inner suffocation and catharsis, but looked in all the wrong places for release. And not surprising, for the only place they could look - the Church - had been hijacked by the Establishment and been moulded in its own Victorian image.
As a family we have recently been enjoying the P.G.Wodehouse series, Jeeves and Wooster, about the idle rich. The men are all idle wimps and the women all Jezebellic ogres. It's funny and not funny. It's funny because we can laugh at the ridiculousness of the carnal human being, and it's not funny because it accurately depicts - albeit in a highly exaggerated form - the perverse and destructive basket of matriarchal values which have slowly but surely strangled us all by demanding our obeisance. They reflect the abandonment by men of their God-given rôle as sacrificing heads to their women whom, like the English, they have turned into Aunt Agatha's by putting them up on pedestals or, like the Welsh, by putting them on their flags. Men and women have become unnatural. They are not what they are supposed to be. And what has the Victorian value system evolved into? It has evolved, by natural processes, into a form of militant feminism, where men are meek and submissive females covered in perfume, and women have started stepping into men's shoes and are becoming like the men. The gap between the genders has narrowed and the occultic dream of unisexuality, with its homosexual and lesbian spin-offs, has come nearer to fulfilment.
I was born in the 1950s at the end of the Old Order, and within a decade was in the middle of the New one. Throughout my life I have been witness to a rapidly changing and decaying world. Like most human beings I find my roots in my childhood. I look nostalgically back. And yet it's a lie. The 1950s were not paradise but were part of another lie. It was more orderly, decent, and Christian, but it was still built on a lie. And because it was a lie, it exploded in the 1960's. And I believed it. And because I believed it, I sowed the seeds of my own illness.
If we ever want to be delivered from the stresses and strains of our frankly evil world, we have first of all got to stop believing in lies. We've got to stop feeling guilty about betraying our loyalty to others who may still believe in the lie, because we feel we owe them something for all their sacrifices to us as parents, relatives, or friends. We have to admit that it is possible to have the best of intentions, the warmest of feelings, the most genuine heart-love for someone, but still be instruments in propagating the lies which ultimately do us so much harm. Only the truth sets us free (John 8:32).
We are embroiled in a war in the Middle East and people are being tortured and killed. The media has fed us a whole stack of lies about terrorism. Yes, the terrorists exist, and they're a menace to society, but the real reason we are in Iraq is imperialism - it is oil. There are plenty of other states harbouring terrorists - why don't we attack those? Similar arguments are advanced about values. There are many who have dreams of 'going back' to 'Christian America' or 'Christian Europe', but they were built on lies too. Why were Christian nations killing one another in the millions? What had that to do with Christianity? Nothing! The real force behind those wars was imperialism but righteous causes were hijacked to serve those imperialistic interests.
Brethren and sisters, we have to look again. We have to get to the roots of our lives and of our national histories, and be brutally honest. Satan feeds off our lies, creates fear, and through these gains access to trouble our minds and souls, and make us ill. The Gospel of Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) is about Truth and Wholeness and we should never mix it with our foolish national and cultural vanities. The Temple of Yahweh is a House for "all nations" and not the private religion of a race or country (Mark 11:17). Again, do not misread me, I am not in favour of huge federal states or grand unions or One World orders which are the darlings of the occultists, Satanists, and Illuminists! I believe in the nation state. But I do not accept it as my god. I believe in sovereign and free nations under the sovereignty of Yahweh, His Torah, and His Christ. And I believe all nations to be equal.
I guess that I, like all of you, am still dealing with lies in my life. I'm disappointed but not surprised. I am reminded much of King Saul who was a monarch in charge of a nation in transition from a Confederacy ruled by Judges to a Kingdom ruled by a supreme Monarch. The nation was going in the wrong direction and this man was in the middle of it. Israel was warned against it, but would not listen. And we have been suffering ever since. Our difficult but necessary task is to completely reverse this process in the face of many Christian movements, ministries, and churches who are still trying to perpetuate it. There are not a few amateur dictators like the Spode's of Jeeves and Wooster who want to be kings and popes in their own ministerial domains. Such are swimming against the tide of the Ruach haQodesh (Holy Spirit) and are going to be swept away by it. The male dictators and the female feminists are all going to be deluged. The little Hitlers, the wimpy feminised men, the Jezebels and Aunt Agatha's aren't wanted. They have been our ruin. We must resolutely say "no!" to them all and pass them by. They must either repent and turn their hearts to Yahweh and His Torah through the Messiah Yah'shua (Christ Jesus) or we must take our leave of them.
Noah built an ark of gopher wood and retreated into it with his family because the world would no longer listen to truth. We too must do the same, and invite those who love the truth to join us. This ark is not of gopher wood but it a living fellowship of people - a living organism of truth and light. That is what we stand for. We are saying goodbye to the world, its traditions, its perplexities, its ruinous precepts, and its confusing contradictions. Enough is enough. Please come and join us. We need you as much as you need us. And may the grace of our Lord and Saviour Yah'shua the Messiah (Jesus Christ) be with you all. Amen.
This page was created on 28 March 2003
Last updated on 28 March 2003
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