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    The Definitive Story Told

    Inside a New Age Mormon-Essene Fertility Cult

    THIS CULT WILL WRECK YOUR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY!


    IV.
    The Latest SAI Defector Tells His Story:
    Sacred Whores & Temple Prostitution
    by CE


    Preface by the the Webmaster

    The following account by an ex-member of Sons Ahman/Aumen Israel (SAI), which also now goes by a second name, viz. the "Order of Nazarean Essenes" (ONE), gives a clear picture of the cult's present practices and beliefs (2001), confirming almost everything that I have said on the rest of this site, and adding some new developments.

    CE approached me in July 2001 and started sharing his story of his own free will in a series of e-mails. He initially agreeed to use his proper name but has subsequently asked not to have his name associated with this exposé because of all the emotional stress this has caused. I have reproduced his accounts exactly as he has shared them with the exception of correcting a few spelling mistakes, capitalising proper nouns, and adding emphasis and [explanations] to draw the reader's attention to key events and teachings of SAI/ONE. I have also rendered some of the names shared by CE anonymous, for their own sakes. My own articles, based on the updated information, appear afterwards.

    I should like to thank CE for being so open and transparent about his SAI/ONE experience which was not an entirely pleasant one. I know that many contemplating relocating to or visiting SAI/ONE will now seriously think twice. And finally I hope this added witness will persuade the cult founder - who has changed name again, now from Davied to Yasai Israel and (since this exposé) to Yesai Nasrai - will examine his conscience and finally confess his wickedness and repent.

    The religious/spiritual views expressed by CE are his own and not necessarily those of this webpage, or vice versa. As CE is not presently attached to any religious tradition he has no doctrinal axe to grind. (Christopher C. Warren, Webmaster)


    Letter #1 (26 July 2001)

    Greetings Christopher, thank you for the exposé on the former S.A.I. organization though a few things seemed inaccurate but that does not matter at this point.

    Early in 2001 i visited Gilbert Clark (now named Yesai Israel) and his most recent wife called Isis (not Faith), from whom he has a young son and daughter. I visited for about a week and then shortly thereafter came there with intentions to live, but stayed only between one and two months.

    Yesai and Isis were kind to me, but I felt misled concerning their life and vision. Yesai made it very plan when questioned that they believe all women are bi-sexual and that lesbianism is acceptable in their community, but homosexuality is not. My belief and preference is neither, and I choose not to live where it can or does exist according to my own conscience on the matter.

    Spiritually they seem mixed up and there is a deep degree of secrecy. A black man visited from England [G] sincere on being baptized by Yesai into the Nazorean-Essene way of enlightenment, but soon after being there said he sensed something was very wrong and couldn't sleep at night. We had long discussions which Yesai did not approve of. Yesai questioned our spending a lot of time together. In the end, Yesai blamed G and I for things not working out for us as potential members.

    Yesai needs to blame himself for somethings. I had a very negative spiritual experience while in the house [the main SAI building]. I have to really question why they bother keeping Aliester Crowley and Golden Dawn books in the house. I have realized that their salvation is based on many things they are not telling, as well as being vegan.

    Vegan is the big doctrine, then it seems their ordinances/mysteries are next which not much is said about expect they have been given to them and are needed for enlightenment.

    I have endeavored to maintain a candid and friendly contact with them and have pointed many things out to them. They shut down in their communication with me. Yesai [Gilbert Clark/Davied Israel] especially does this when challenged. He can't handle opposition. He also encouraged me not to pay child-support and to move there as being at O.N.E. (Order of Nazorean Essenes) would be the higher calling. I have realized he was deceived in this and have a much better conscience providing for my son and former wife as able and maintaining friendship and involvment as a father.

    S.A.I/O.N.E concerns me. I like much of the historical information presented on their new web page: look up Nazorean Way Monastery or Order of Nazorean Essenes (join the home study course, I helped with) but, I sensed there is a lot they were not willing to tell me. I realized I was being made into a dependent there. Yesai was the enlightened one. And as much as they talk about male/female total equality even between Yesai and Isis, it really isn't so.

    I'm writing because they are not really upfront about somethings and it is wrong. I asked them before I moved there about same-sex relationships. They basically lied to me.

    They have a holy rule book, but they don't live up to it except the vegan part. I feel bad for Yesai's children from various women. Yesai says he has a wonderful family, yea right. I got to know his three boys from his wife you knew [Faith].

    At this point I don't trust Yesai for nothing. His wife Isis and a young Israeli man named Gil were frequently excitedly embraced [in intimate embrace] in the morning.

    It felt really wierd there. I am glad to be back in New York (Yesai thinks most New Yorkers live like rats). Actually the popoulation density there [SAI] was greater than where I live, not that it matters.

    The biggest problems with what he is doing is that he (big Abba man) is placing himself and his organization in the position of being the best way to enlightenment and subtly making others dependent on his word and teachings. They say they are open and flexible, but only within their menu. It was hard to leave and I like them and wish them the best. Someday Yesai is going to realize you can't just ignore problems and people that have been misled and lied to. If he were more enlightened and more of a man he would would want to contribute to the financial well-being of the children he has fathered.

    I feel his brand of Nazorean-Essene life is much man-made rules on the one-hand and holy vegan dogma, and a loose disorganized messy moral mystery on the other. I wish they could just really be upfront with people and tell people what they really want and how they really operate and not hide anything. Their secret ordinaces given from above nauseate me at this point. Are they really the children of light and the rest of us the children of darkness?

    Another thing that is very disturbing is their worship of a Heavenly, and Earthly Mother. I was told the "holy whore with a heart of gold" is , the earthly mother. My question is: who is she really?

    Yesai encouraged me as a man to focus on Mary M. vs. [as opposed to] Yeshua [Jesus]. I really believe Yesai just wants to read his history books and write on the computer while everyone else does the dirty work around there. It was pretty obvious. One person told me Yesai has created a human mousetrap. Perhaps so.

    I still like Yesai and Isis but they don't email me anymore. They were not open enough to hear what I had to say, I guess.

    Funny how that works. You can be someone like Gil that talks about drinking urine and asks guests how many times they masturbate and where and still receive loving attention and admiration in the New Agey way, but question their special doctrines and their character and the communication stops.

    Well, Christopher, I'm not going to be muzzled by any group or special guru. Perhaps you could make it known that S.A.I./O.N.E. does in fact consider all women to be bi-sexual, that lesbianism is acceptable there and homosexuality is not, that miryai/mary madgalene is known as the holy whore with a heart of gold who is worshipped, that temple prostitution is commended and defended (look at article on recent website [it has since been removed]), and most importantly, what they say and teach, they don't necessarily do.

    That was the big disappointment. You go to their web page and read about this wonderful life and teachings and beautiful monastery, and then you get there and realize reality. I let myself be hurt by all of this.

    I read your S.A.I. webapge before going and felt you were not telling the truth, but I should have realized that at the least, some of what you said was probably true. I hope people like me will realize that when higher spiritual life and rituals remain secret to the newcomer it's for a reason and the reason is never good. I had to say these things, because they refuse. They can ignore me, but I will continue to live an open life, not a secret one.

    Let me know if you receive this message.


    Letter #2 (27 July 2001)

    Christopher, thank you for your response. I sent a copy of the email I sent you to Yesai/Davied/Gilbert as well. I live an open life without secrets or hidden agendas. I'm allergic to mystery.

    I feel it is best not to use the email I sent you on your website, for my sake. [In later emails CE recinded this, incorporating most of the data in his official story, hence its inclusion here - some parts have been ommitted in respect of his wishes], you may mention that a recent visitor has reported on the worship of Miryai: Mary Magdalene as the earthly mother: the holy whore with a heart of gold (incidentally, Yesai removed the prostitution defense article a few days ago from the website after I emailed him and challenged him about it). You may also mention that they indeed embrace lesbianism, but not homosexuality, and teach that all women are bi-sexual. Best I leave it at that for now.

    Yesai and Isis were both kind to me, but my experience there was disturbing. I am trying now to distance my inner life from it all and not further attach myself to them etc. by lashing out against them. I do have a good conscience about people knowing about the lesbian issue, Mary Magdalene, and the bi-sexual teaching because they just are not upfront about some of these things and if they feel secure and unashamed about it they should be open about it for everyone's sake.

    I deeply suspect they are not on a good spiritual path as mentioned. I tried to really get to know Yesai, but he shut down before I could. There is quite an emphasis on being vegan. I eat very little meat and buy none, but I don't like the feeling of labeling myself vegan etc.

    There was a young woman there with a two year old daughter. I liked her much for a time but it didn't work out. She is fully vegan but defended her pot smoking. She has since moved out. Oddly, I was a look-alike to her daughter's father and also looked like one of her cousins who was a child molester. It's a long story, but my reputation was ruined for a time by some things Yesai said and didn't say and because I looked like A's cousin. You see, a man visited us there who had formerly molested children by his admission and open honesty, but Yesai told alison "one of the men" (includes me!) was a child molester. He never apologized to me for anything. It's like he would go into denial and shut down in weird way.

    At first he really liked me, but I am more reclusive coupled with feeling increasingly uneasy about the underlying spiritual makeup of the place. I believe Isis is a sincere and honest woman and she has been through a lot, not from Yesai, but for a time they had a group and some broke off and lived next door in a building Yesai made and intended for a kitchen and meeting place etc. Yesai told me they were into all sorts of Crowley-type sexual endeavors and partying and they came to hate him and Isis. They tried to take over the whole place legally and Isis allowed herself to be grilled by their lawyers for hours. In the end Yesai paid them "a lot of money to make them go away." but I have to ask, why did they and Yesai get together in the first place?.

    I feel Yesai has studied many spiritual paths and has latched onto the Nazorean-Essene-Vegan model, but he's throwing a lot of extras into the mix, things they may not have believed or practiced. If you read his new website and go into the course under another name, you'll begin to see.

    A dark spirit came to me in a semi-dream state while there and warned me not be baptized there or this spirit would kill my son. I rebuked the spirit in the dark place we were in and we struggled a bit and he/it left. But in that I sensed a good message for me, don't be baptized there.

    You know Christopher, it sounds good, growing your own food and living simply and I enoyed the meditation times together, but when Yesai would read in the evenings somtimes from the Pistis Sophia, I sensed in me another spirit. I'm not into the earth goddess archtype, and I'd rather not get into it except to say I don't have peace about a goddess who lives on or in the earth. We both know how this planet and even nature operates in this world. It's pretty cold and cut-throat half the time.

    Yesai speaks of an Aumen, a Heavenly Mother and Father, but then Miryai M. is highly emphasized and though Edgar Cayce [an occultist] says she indeed was a prostitute before meeting Yah'shua [Jesus. Yesai at times denies this, and yet at other times glorifies her as the holy whore. Gives me the creeps. I picture the harlot of Babylon sitting on a throne with a cup full of blood and worse in one hand and a drawn sword in the other.

    I'm not out to condemn Yesai, but he really concerns me. He's very smooth and confident with many answers with visitors.

    I'm open to answering specific questions you may have, but please do not put my words on the website except the facts I approved above [Ed. this he rescinded later]. It's important to me not to go out of my way to hurt Yesai or Isis, but at the same time, people who may be considering giving them time, money or their life and soul need to know more than what they'll probably be told before they go there.

    You should know that Isis told me you try to heal people with your semem/sperm and try to do some of the same things they try to do and Yesai emphasized a couple times that you tried to take over the place with a homosexual "side-kick" and big flag [Ed. quite false].

    Please understand I do not know you and am not seeking further information about your life and I wish you well. I have written to you because I believe you did find out some things about S.A.I and Yesai that he would have not told others. I have pointedly told Yesai and Isis some things that probably no one else has except perhaps yourself, and I even tried to help Yesai with his web-page earlier on. More could be said, but I am tired, work hard each day and am happy with job and love son and friends with former wife and she is doing well. I have lived with the Bruderhof several times, the Twelve Tribes several times and probably some other places [I] prefer not to recall right now, also Eckankar [an occultic group]. I have kissed the ground my "guru's" have lived on, but in vain and hopefully wiser for it all now.

    I have searched for "god" and know there are many other intelligences and believe in a Creator, and it seems likely there are many levels above us. I think people like Yesai are making spiritual progress more complicated and copyrighted than it needs to be and all that leads to making people dependent on the group and the leader. Some do it for money, some for sex, some for glory power, and some just to have others do the dirty work while they study and read. Send me your questions if you wish, Christopher and I will answer to the best of my ability, and understanding. Peace, CE


    Letter #3 (27 July 2001)

    Christopher, I forgot, but you may also mention that Yesai had for a time clearly and publicly approved of and defended temple prostitution on his web site. You would have been surprised at the article, very surprised. Two authors jointly defended prostitution in general, and I believe Yesai added, "we really need to change the way we think about prostitution".


    Letter #4 (29 July 2001) - To Gil, Current SAI / ONE Member

    Hi Gil, thank you for your letter and explanations. I sincerely feel that some prospective guests and prospective members do not have enough information to evaluate the wisdom of visiting or possibly joining Order of Essene Nazarenes [SAI]. I am not intending to harm or cause hurt feelings although that may occur and though I felt lied to and misled in some areas. I hope you will do what is most deeply on your heart to do. I respect the freedom of Yesai and Isis to believe and live as they see fit, but there are at least a few things they are not being upfront and open about with people from the start. Many sincere spiritually seeking people would be spared time, money and hope by knowing more from the start.

    I hope you will read and study Yesai's website and his heart. Yesai has many explanations but there are contradictions and he is harming himself and others by not being more open and less secretive, but that is his choice and freedom. More importantly to myself and others he clearly stated that objective truth isn't important to the gnostic. Myth and reality can be mixed and the separation isn't important.

    Anyway Gil, I have no secrets, Yesai does and this is obvious even to the casual observer. I believe the truth of S.A.I. lay somewhere between Christopher Warren's site and Yesai's. Many people have come and gone from S.A.I. of this I am sure, there is a tangible reason. To the best of my ability, I will offer observations from my perspective, and to the Gnostic this should not be threatening. It's just part of the overall tapestry of human experience. Everything will be all right and Life will go on as scheduled.

    Aumen's peace, CE.


    Letter #6 (29 July 2001) to CE - From Gil, Current SAI / ONE Member

    Dear CE,

    How are you?

    I read the letter, which you have sent Christopher Warren. Since you also sent it to Yesai's mail box. It is pretty harsh. & I do not think that it is accurately true. Yet, it may have been your personal perseption. So if that is the case. I guess you could think that that was or is the case.

    Anyway, I will try to express my opinion on the things that you have wrote. & My feelings too. Maybe I made a mistake by not keeping in touch with you for the last few months. & if it was hurtful to you. I apologize. & I think that I am not the only one. Ironically Isis sent you an email today. & That was before she knew that you sent yesai the letter, which you sent Christopher Warren.

    So, what am i going to write now? I’m not sure.

    Well first of all, I feel upset & even hurt buy what you have wrote. I think that you misrepresented things. & I will try to explain why. For example you spoke of me. The Israeli guy. who asks people how & where they masturbate & about drinking urine. & with all that i get loving attention (the new agey way or something like that...).

    For an outsider that would sound really strange & perverted. I felt very shy of asking such things. & really did not want to know where & how you masturbated. Tthe motive to my question. was due to the fact that I was sharing a bathroom with people whom I do not know whether they carry any diseases. & I am aware of the fact that some people maturbate in the bathroom. & I have seen in the bathroom matter which resembled semen (it may have been snot?) before. I was worried. If diseases were non transmittable via semen. I would not ask anyone about their masturbation life. Plus, you seemed to be tolerant to such questions. since we have dicussed sexual matters before.

    As far as drinking urine goes, well I spoke of that because I have read information about it's healing properties in books. It was not the urine drinking that I was promoting, but the healing properties. By the way, currently I do not promote drinking urine since I realize that I am not well informed enough to conclude whether it is a healthy or unhealthy practice. & I think that you were aware of my motives.

    This is an example. The only things you emphasized about me was that I talk about drinking urine, asking people about there masturbation life & having exciting morning embraces with Yesai's wife.

    If you look back. & are willing to be honest. I am sure that you will realize that those were not my dominating characteristics. We had other conversations in which I shared my thoughts & feelings with you. which were not related to any of the things you spoke about in your letter to Mr. Warren. & you seemed to appreciate me as well. I actually saw you as a friend.

    So you see. You brought up facts. Gil asks where & how people masturbate. Gil talks about drinking urine, but they are misrepresenting who I am, & give a negative impression about me. I think that it could be considered propaganda.

    The nature of your letter seems to have that kind of flavor all the way thru which I think is the same thing that Mr. Warren does.

    This is my understanding of the situation. Yesai studied and studies a lot of literature, spent time thinking, experienced many things. Hhe has a vision of a life style which he would like to live. He shares his opinions & beliefs. & offers who have a similar vision. to help establish an environment which would be in harmony with there (sic) vision. He does not claim that his beliefs are all absolute truth & infallible. They are his conclusions. Which are open to change.

    To be a part of his vision & live in the community which he wants to create. There should be basic rules, which are to be followed. Yet, it is not necessary to conform to all of his beliefs. For example, meat eating, child molestation & murder are practices, which would not be tolerated in the community, which he is trying to establish. If a person chooses to practice such things. They would have to leave the community. That is an example of basic rules which mandatory , & which cannot be broken.. There is a basic blue print which has to be clearly defined.

    Now I will give example of what I meant by saying that members of the community have the freedom of accepting Yesai’s beliefs. I personally do not feel I have enough evidence or experience to wholeheartedly accept the cosmology which Yesai believes in. I also heard Yesai telling me that he thinks that he & Isis have a disagreement on a matter regarding spiritual guides. So this is an example of tolerance to not accepting everything Yesai believes. The community’s vision has not yet manifested. I believe that Yesai does express his vision on his website. Yet one asks him what is going on in the community. He would tell them what is & what is not happening.

    The way I have displayed the situation. Can sound as though Yesai is the dictator of the community. & I do not want it to sound that way. Since I do not believe that that is true. He is the one who started establishing his plan. So obviously it was founded on something he tried to create. Which was not something he completely invented. But rather, put the effort in restoring ancient monastic & religious practices, which he found to be valuable. That is why he is a dominant figure of O.N.E. But it does not mean that he decides everything, while others have no say.

    After being exposed to his ideas & vision. I thought that I had enough interests & things in common. That made me want to come & participate in his vision. Yesai does respect what I have to say & my suggestions. I have the authority to make changes in what is going on here. For example the meditation & prayer routine & practice which we were doing while you were present. Were highly influenced by my suggestions. So the main points which I now recall you have written were:

      1- O.N.E./S.A.I. believes that all women are bi-sexual. Lesbianism is accepted & male homosexuality is not accepted in the community.

      2- The people seem to be spiritually confused.

      3- What they say is not what they do.

      4- Yesai just wants to read history books & work on the computer. While others do the dirty work.

      5- Veganism is an emphasized doctrine.

      6- You don’t understand why there are Aliester Crowley & Golden Dawn books.

      7- G felt that something was very wrong here. & had trouble sleeping at night.

      8- You had a negative spiritual experience.

      9- this place is a human mouse trap.

      10- Gil the Israeli guy gets loving attention while he asks guests where & how the masturbate. & he talks about drinking urine.

      11- Mary Magdalene (Miryai) is the holy whore with a heart of gold.

      12- you were lied to regarding the sexual orientation of S.A.I/O.N.E.

      13- there is deep secrecy going on here. & the reason of not telling new comers of the ordinances are not good ones…

      14- you spoke of Yesai not financially providing enough for his children. & gave the impression that there is something wrong in his family life.

    Those seem to be some points which you mentioned. Okay I’ll respond one by one.

      1. O.N.E./S.A.I. believes that all women are bi-sexual. Lesbianism is accepted & male homosexuality is not accepted in the community.

      From discussing the matter with Yesai. This is what I have come to understand. Yesai’s understanding is that women are slightly bi-sexual by nature. He told me that he believes that woman have a stronger sexual attraction to men. Yet, a bi-sexual female occasionally being affectionate & physically intimate does not seem to him an unhealthy practice. While the opposite would be considered unhealthy in his view(bisexual men being physically intimate.) That means that female bi-sexuality is not considered sexually immature or perverted in his opinion. While he believes that male homosexuality , male bi-sexuality, & lesbianism is not the ideal of healthy harmonious sexual relationships. I think that he bases is opinion on his understanding of yin yang principles. I don’t want to get into the theory. He believes that male homosexuality, male bisexuality, & lesbianism are behaviors which reflect something went wrong in the persons life. It may or may not be a significant problem. I think that he sees female lesbianism to be less of a disorder than homosexuality. Yet that is not the ideal.

      I am not saying that I agree or disagree with his opinions. He told me that he has nothing personally against homosexuals. He said that his past experience with them has that they had other psychological issues which (like feeling rejected ) take a lot of energy to deal with them. & the basis & the religion is heterosexual orientated. Which means that it’s goal is for yin to unite with yang. like Yeshua & Miryai, heavenly father & heavenly mother, masculine & feminine. Vs. yang & yang or yin & yin. This orientation is displayed in religious symbology, in the rite of heterosexual marriage. So this basic blueprint could cause conflict in their practice. Since homosexual marriage would not be encouraged or supported & homosexual deities would not either.

      This may sound contradictory. Since female bisexuality is accepted. But I understand that the basic yin yang theory & the union of the two is not disturbed by a woman being bi–sexual. I am not going to explain it right now. Perhaps in another letter. Yesai told me that from his experience with knowing homosexual men. It did not seem that the environment of the community which he would like to create would be the right place for them to resolve that issue. Yet, he does believes that it is likely that there are exceptions. & there could possibly be a situation of a homosexual man becoming a community resident although he finds it unlikely [There have been two homosexual residents at SAI in the past - Editor]. Certain things are absolutely not acceptable sexual relations of adults with children, humans & animals, & weird stuff like that…

      He also is concerned that the residents can be role models to his children. & he would not like them to be exposed to things such as lesbianism & homosexuality & even exposed to members having heterosexual sex in a nonprivate manner.

      Another thing that you may wonder. Is why male homosexuality [is] considered more of a disorder than lesbianism. & why female bisexuality is okay & male bi –sexuality is not. Well these are based on the principles of yin & yang. & the levels of harmony differ each of the types of relationships I mentioned. & these principles explain why.

      If you wish I will try to send you the theory…

      2- You said that the people seem spiritually confused. Well I do not think that this is true. I am not spiritually confused. I am very critical before I subscribe to any belief. I do not have much to confuse myself about. Since there is not much that I know which is considered “spiritual”. I am familiar with different spiritual beliefs & theories. But I am not confused with it. I don’t think that Isis or Yesai are confused either.

      3- You said that what they say is not what they do. Well, the vision of S.A.I/O.N.E is not organized enough & does not have enough people to put in practice [three full-time members at the time of writing - Editor]. & does not claim to be. Although there still was & is a degree of putting in practice it's goals. Such as personal & group study, meditation & prayer & gardening.& the vegan diet.

      4- Yesai just wants to read history books & work on the computer. While others do the dirty work.

      That too is not true. Most of the work of building the houses & working on the land was done by him. while I have been here It seemed that he did most of the dirty work. Such as plumbing ,working on fixing the septic tanks (I helped but he did the really dirty work…). He works a lot in the pottery shop, he cooks food for every body.

      Maybe he does read & work on the computer. Which has it’s importance. Yet he does other stuff as well. Perhaps you got that impression from your stay here. Since he may have not been “dirty” working much when you were around.

      5- You said that Veganism is an emphasized doctrine. That is true. There are many references which explain there reasons - such as Isis’ website. & I guess that is one of the mandatory practices which need to be emphasized. As a basic rule. It is quite interesting. Since I was convinced that the vegan diet is the ideal diet. Based on things I have studied. I remember hat I even encouraged you about it. But in the last month or two I have studied more & thought more about it. & I have questions about it & am hesitant in promoting it or condemning it. At the moment.

      I expressed to Isis & Yesai my questions & theories of the possibility of why veganism may not being the ideal diet. We discussed it in a friendly manner. & I have not come to a solid conclusion yet but there is tolerance & no conflict or resentment between us. & they were open to my ideas.

      6- You don’t understand why there are Aliester Crowley & Golden Dawn books.

      Well they probably there because Yesai & perhaps others were interested in reading that material. I asked him about Aliester Crowley stuff. I know that he does not promote his philosophy (Crowley’s) & does not consider him as a role model. Yet he does think that it is wise to expose oneself to philosophies of others. As far as the Golden Dawn goes. I think that it is considered a system of ritual magic. Probably there was interest in studying that material.

      7- You said that G felt that something was very wrong here. & had trouble sleeping at night. That may be true. I was not present when he expressed being troubled. When I was around. I really liked him & appreciated him as a nice human being. But what he felt, thought or experienced is not necessarily anybody’s fault. He may have had misperceptions. Or perhaps there were things, which were part of the O.N.E. philosophy, vision, or residence in the house which were not acceptable to him. That is okay. He is entitled to his personal beliefs & opinions.

      8- You mentioned that you had a negative spiritual experience. Sorry… I don’t think I know what it specifically was. But I think the fact that It took place at Yesai’s house. Does not make it his fault or O.N.E’s fault. I remember that you told me that you had negative spiritual experiences which I think happened in New York. I do not think that it is New York’s fault…

      9- You said that this place is a human mouse trap. Huh? Everyone is welcome to leave. Many have gone & come back. & have gone & not come back. I don’t feel trapped [Ed. though apparently he has no money to enable him to leave even if he wanted to].

      10- You said that Gil the Israeli guy gets loving attention while he asks guests where & how the masturbate. & he talks about drinking urine. I told you what I thought about that. Basically I think that I do not deserve being represented [that] way. I think that with that attitude you can say something about anyone you know who has shared information of something that they thought or have done in the past. You did not say anything of my reasons for speaking such things. & I do not think it is the public’s business anyway.

      11- You said that O.N.E teaches that Mary Magdalene(miryai) is the holy whore with a heart of gold. I assume that you got that idea by reading an article that had that title. The information on O.N.E.’s website is not only teachings which are defended & commended. The article which you read about that & temple prostitution. Was simply a scholar’s historical statement. The article is not one of the teachings of O.N.E. the website is also made as a source for research work & historical studies.

      Yesai does not believe that Mary Magdalene (Miryai) was a prostitute. & does not defend or commend temple prostitution. He is not responsible of the history of the world. The website also contains articles of a rabbinical Jew & a Catholic. Yet it does not mean that this place is catholic or Jewish…

      12- You were lied to regarding the sexual orientation of s.a.i/o.n.e. Well I asked Yesai about that. He told me that he is very cautious with what he says regarding that matter. & that he would not lie if he were asked about it. He does not remember lying to you. & says that he would not have.

      I personally believe him from getting to know him. & Also since I asked him about this topic. The orientation is heterosexual. Monogamy is encouraged. Yet polygamy (men & or women) can be tolerated [Ed. note: this includes both polygyny, polyandry and polyamory/mixed marriage - Editor] as well as celibacy. Yesai believes that the fundamental principle of yin uniting with yang does not work with male or female homosexuality. Which is a basic principle in his philosophy.

      Perhaps there was a misunderstanding or a miscommunication regarding that matter. I understand that he prefers to avoid emphasizing his ideas of acceptable relationships which could be considered controversial - such as polygamy, female bisexuality & celibacy - in western culture. The reason is not because he has evil motives or wants to secretly promote such. But they are because it seems that once people hear about tolerance of those ideas. They often create emotional disturbances which may distract them from the actual essence of the teachings. Which are to be more loving & compassionate people. I am not saying that I believe in hiding the ideas or lying about them. But the problem is that to much significance can be given to them, while the essential message will be missed.

      I cannot prove whether Yesai lied to you or not. I personally doubt that he did. I doubt that he did. & I think his motives in the way he displays things & his accentuations are done with positive intentions.

      13- You said that there is deep secrecy going on here. & The reason for not telling new comers of the ordinances are not good ones…

      hmmm… how do you know? If it is a secret? Well I am quite aware of what is going on here since I have been in this house a lot in nearly the last 2 years. There is not deep secrecy. There maybe things which people may find to be personal. & won’t tell to the public. But it is nothing that is harmful or mean to others. There are not secret rituals which ask the participants in doing orgies or worshipping Satan, etc… I actually read/heard about the rituals. They were pretty modest (eating bread, sacraments, baptisms, heterosexual marriage, stuff like that…). You maybe got that idea by reading that Christopher Warren's page. I asked Yesai about things that were written there. He did tell me that along time ago they did baptisms naked - as early Christians practiced. - I also asked him about the suggestion for homosexuals, which was on the website of Christopher Warren. In which a homosexual man sucks the breast of a female, etc… He said that he thinks that the practice could possibly help a homosexual man. If he practiced it with his wife as a therapeutic tool [in early SAI it was done with women the homosexuals were not married to -Editor]. But he does not think that that alone would solve the problem. & he also thinks that that practice - which is not a ritual- was not his creation. Rather, he received it from a non-physical source - something like channeling [He "received" the "Isaac-Sarah Revelation" explaining it in great detail. I will publish this at the right time - Editor]. I don’t know whether that practice is effective or not - the homosexual thing...- & whether it was channeled from a heavenly being or by his subconscious mind. & the fact that there were naked baptisms in the past does not really bother me. I do not know whether I would like to participate in such a ritual. But it doesn’t really occupy my mind whether people have done such things. I don’t remember all the stuff that was on his web site (Mr. Warren’s) but I think that there were lies & misleading information.

      14- You spoke of Yesai not financially providing enough for his children. & gave the impression that there is something wrong in his family life. You seem to conclude it based on conversation/s you had with Y, S & E [his children through Faith]. I am not sure about everything you discussed with them (the boys…) & I do think it is possible that you have heard negative things, which any of them may have expressed. Such as I think I heard you say that Isis only cares about Asher & Norea or that she is a bitch… I know that Isis cares about them (S, E & Y). I think that they are provided sufficiently with there needs & more. I think that they all are nice respectful kids. Even if you heard something negative. I think that it was said lightly. Perhaps it was one of those negative gossipy things. Which if thought about deeply would probably have not even been said. Although I never heard Yesai’s bragging about his wonderful family. I think that his family is pretty good.

      15- You said that Yesai cannot handle challenge.

      Well, that is not my experience with him. I actually often question his beliefs & express my doubts & questions. He faces what I have to say & handles it. [He is forced to when it comes to those of the "inner circle" who know what is going on in the ordinances - Editor]. Perhaps you say this because he would not respond to your letters. My feeling is that he was not avoiding your questions. But that he was avoiding getting in a relationship with you which seemed not a positively productive thing. This is my assumption. I may be wrong.

      This letter I am writing you is quite a job … I just find it strange that you came here & visited. You told me positive things about this place. You made the decision that you want to move here. After you have visited & seen what is going on. & then later you have a whole bunch of negative criticism. If it is so bad & disappointing why did you want to move here. & Why did you speak positively about the whole thing with me while you were here on your first visit at the pottery shop? After you decided to leave you on & off. Flattering emails & Negative tearing down emails & apologies. You share your salvation experience with Jesus, Yahweh & the 12 tribes. & then later you seemed that you changed your mind about that too, vegan not vegan, etc….(?) It is okay to change your mind. But I think that you should think deeply about your choices. Especially when they tear down someone else.

      I am not saying that there are no flaws in anyone’s life at O.N.E . but the flaws that you were expressing did not seem valid. They may have a certain level of facts. Such as what you wrote about me. But even though there are facts. The way that you represented it was misleading like a lie. I think that there is much more positive things here than negative ones. I don’t think that Christopher Warren’s intention in making the website on S.A.I. was out of compassion for the “innocent people which may fall prey to the evil deceptive human mouse trap of S.A.I.” [Not a quotation from anything I have said - Editor]. I think it is more of a petty, negative desire. But I guess I should try to not be judgmental (maybe that is my flaw) but I still feel that this is the case. I won’t be surprised if he will love what you sent him. It would give a sense of support & confirmation to his claims. I actually still have a somewhat positive view about. At least [I] think that you have positive characteristics. I don’t really think that you believe that your letter to Mr. Warren is an accurate representation of what goes on here & about the people here. If I am right about that. Then that could bring the understanding that people do things like that. . & that Mr. Warren may be one of those people. I tried responding very politely although I could use some slang & wild language to express my feelings. I hope that this letter that I am sending you will make things better. Eric, I think you know better than that. I think that there was more I wanted to write you. But this will be enough for now.

    P.S. I really do not want to be in any type of war with you or with Mr. Warren. I also don’t want those things you wrote about me to be on his website. I think that that it was a personal incident which is not going to help the world. & I do not want to be put in the situation where I have to defend or explain myself for saying such things. I think that the letter you wrote in general should not be shared with the world. I am disturbed & hurt by what you did.

    I wish you well. ~little Gil~


    Letter #7 (29 July 2001)

    Christopher, I will endeavor to honestly and concisely write about my experience with S.A.I. and I know feel it's fine to just use my name as you see fit and you may put the letter on your website. I have already been contacted by Gil at S.A.I. and I attempted to forward his email to you [see above #6]. I'm kind of glad I got a reaction out of someone there as months have gone by with them refusing to respond at all to me, except Yesai who very briefly welcomed me to "Faith and Gnosis 111" a few weeks ago. But I have since discontinued his new course even though I found it interesting.

    I can only say from spirit and instinct that I find Yesai a slippery person. I believe he is deceived and knowingly or unknowingly may be warping the actual Essene/Nazorean model. I do not know. I do know that over and over this guy just doesn't come clean with information. At any rate, I've seen people waste a lot of time, energy and hope going there. Well, I'll write what I have to say and give you and them a copy. My goal is not to harm them or anyone else, but if I say nothing, other's may be hurt simply because they are unwilling to simply and publicly state their position on some things. Gil defends them all the way. I just don't buy into all the explanations, there have been too many contradictions.

    Peace, CE

    Letter #8 (29 July 2001)

    Christopher, when I recently read the article which may have titled "The Whore with a Heart of Gold" or "The Holy Whore with a Heart of Gold" on the Miryai/Mary Magdalene website of Yesai's, I was stunned and now even more surprised that he removed it. He obviously didn't have the guts to stand behind it publicly once I brought attention to it. Yesai did not write the article but some of his thoughts may have been added in places or at the end. I think the article may be able to be found through some search engine.

    [Editor: The original article may be found at:

    The Original Whore with the Heart of Gold

    at the Sexuality.org - Society for Human Sexuality, which requires readers to be over 18 years old. A causual perusal of the main Index page reveals quickly that this is a semi-pornographic site that promotes polyamory].

    The article as I said was not his. When I saw that he would stand behind something like this, I can't explain my feelings. Yes, we all have sexual desires and longings, but the article basically says how wonderful a prostitute is and how good prostitution is for individuals and society.

    Thank you for your side of the story regarding sperm and the planted flag. [Editor: I explained to Eric that I planted a flag at SAI as a witnesses that I would always be "present" in some way until I had rescued my wife and children from the place and that I was never even remotely interested in "taking" SAI over - God forbid!]. I never envisioned that this whole experience would become as complex as it has become, but this only solidifies my belief that something is really wrong within Gilbert Clark. I have dealt with other people who have spiritual gifts or leadership abilities yet deeply deceived and damaged by opposition spirits as I once was.

    In the open letter I will write and explain all Ii experienced throughout this whole thing, positive, negative and in-between.

    I don't have any information about Gary right now and at the moment can't recall his last name. I will explain all about that as well.

    Gil would like me to remain quiet. He's a nice guy and their only full-time resident right now. A has left and moved in with friends near her father's business. Will explain later. G had a lot to say before he left. Gil and Yesai would like to say my perception is distorted etc. Yes, none of us are objective totally, but I'm not going silent on what my experience really was.

    Yesai's wife [Faith], before the current Isis, lives in St.George [Utah]. I think this is the "Faith" you speak of. If I remember correctly, Yesai and her son "Y" (another story) said she was planning to sue you. Anyway, she is the mother of Yesai's sons S, E and Y and perhaps a daughter? [The daughter was from a previous relationship and is not Yesai's - Editor]. Yesai has hope that S might follow in his footsteps. S has asked his father before if he should attack and infect your computer website operation and S.A.I. webpage etc. Yesai has asked him not to.

    [Editor: Since my last rebuttal, hacking attempts on my PC have doubled. I don't, of course, know if S or other SAI people are involved though I do keep a detailed log of the hackers' IP's. If SAI attempts to do this, I will trace them and report them to the authorities. I shall, in any case, be duplicating this webpage to multiple sites so even if my machine was hacked into and damaged or destroyed the truth would still remain on the net. It is in any case already distributed on CD with instructions for others to duplicate it should my ministry somehow be destroyed].

    Y claimed his father divorced his mother, Faith, because she cheated on him three times. She is married now and the new husband previously beat/punished the boys for refusing to eat meat etc. The boys are still vegan. They are in high school. Y likes pot. Y cause trouble for me in the house by relaying everything I said to others. Someone told me when Isis first came into the picture, he was about four years old and she would take him with her wherever she went, then she had her own son, Asher, and of course Y was suddenly lower down on the totem pole.

    Yesai has a daughter somewhere and this daughter's mother has tried to get him to pay child-support. Yesai really tries to slip and slide his way away from any child-support. but, there's no excuse. I haven't seen the April [2001] exposé yet. Will get over there sometime.

    G left after he read some of the previous expose I had copied of yours and brought to S.A.I. [and] especially the part about how Yesai claimed to have the remainder of the Mormon revelation etc. (something we heard nothing about while at S.A.I.). [The Oracles of Mohonri - SAI was originally a break-off of the Mormon Church - Editor].

    Had the good pleasure of never meeting the Crowleyites. As I said, Yesai said he "paid them a lot of money to make them go away."

    I was only there a couple months. They would get some more local visitors like Shanti (sp?) who was a friend and did some kind of spiritual work, and once her massage therapist friend would visit. Gil, invariably would bring up sex and sexual orientation and interests with guests. It got to be embarrassing.

    If it weren't for Gil, you couldn't really call it a community. Right now he is the only full-time resident there (besides Yesai, Isis, and children Y, Asher and Norea).

    After I left Tony [Sova] came from Michigan. He had been teaching about the Essenes there. Oddly I found a letter of his to a Hare Krishna leader on the web and realized he was not happy enough with either Yesai's Essenism or Hare Krishna. We sparred emails a few times. At one point he and A were kind of in love, but that must have ended. I don't think Tony is there now. Buzz came and went a few times before I came. He is older and wealthy, but Yesai and he don't seem willing to work together. I think the issue is control and decsion-making. There's a man named Warren [nothing to do with me - Editor] who last I heard was in India at an ashram there. Don't know if he will be back or not.

    A man named Abba James reportedly stole Yesai's correspondence course and posted it as his own. That is an Essene "church" of sorts. Other than that I don't know what Yesai is associated with. [Editor: For the true account of what happened, see Abba Jame's Testimony]. More importantly he is giving very serious consideration to moving out of the area. He feels in the northwest for example, Washington state or Oregon, more people are willing and waiting to work with him. [This confirms what he once told me - Editor]. N's former wife says she and her new husband would come from Canada I think. N is another story.

    By the way Christopher, I'm not their judge or accuser, I have my own challenges. Spiritually through the years I have envisioned at times a loving, truthful, moral, joyful communal expression through Yah'shua/Jesus etc. Right now I have been blessed to help friends in a recycling business and am able to be a father to my son and help him and my former wife. I have made many mistakes and strove in many unbeneficial directions. I consider myself no better in some ways than Yesai. My main gripe with this guy is that he needs to communicate openly and honestly about what he really believes, and what he really wants, for his sake, deceived as it may be, and the sake of others. He is gifted with his writing and has a definite spiritual gifting from positive or negative sources to assimilate and relay information, but his deep drive and motivation(s) remain elusive and a mystery to me and I don't like that. There is a problem.

    Christopher, you don't seem to be the creep you've been portrayed as. For all I know you could be, or are not, but I think it's very important people see all sides of O.N.E./S.A.I.

    Peace, CE


    Letter #9 (29 July 2001)

    Hi Christopher, go to www.sexuality.org or specifically www.sexuality.org/1/workers/wscawh and look for "the Original Whore with a Heart of Gold" and under that "How the Sacred Prostitute Fell from Grace, and How She May Return" by Levana Lindentree & Bestia Mortale.

    Having reread this, feel that Yesai did not insert his own words, but do believe this represents his position. Why would you post something like this on your Mary/Miryai Magdalene webpage? Why would you remove it when challenged about it? Either way and both there's a problem. Yesai denies Mary Magdalene was a whore yet Edgar Cayce whom Yesai relies upon for Essene info (selectively in part!) says she was in no uncertain terms. What I'd like to know in all of this is who really has the heart of gold?

    Peace, CE


    Letter #10 (29 July 2001)

    Christopher, it seems that the sacred slut is still online at S.A.I./O.N.E. at www.crosswinds.net/~essenes/sacredslut.html or go to Sacred Scrolls of the Essene Church. I could be mistaken but was almost certain he formerly had this on the Miryai Magdalene webpage. Could be wrong. At any rate appears Yesai still has it airing for people's spiritual enlightenment.

    CE

    P.S. I think we really need to question who Yesai's Miryai and the sacred slut really are.


    Letter #11 (29 July 2001)

    Christopher, using the "Google" search engine I was taken to the prostitute article at "Sacred Scrolls of the Essene Church" but I have not found the article at Nazorean Way Monastery. Maybe you can figure out if Yesai really has it currently posted. He may have pulled it from the Miryai page, which I suspect, and perhaps left somewhere else or forgot to remove it from other places he may have initially installed it? What goes through this man's head intrigues me. He seems to have a lot of good historical information he pulls from various places, but it doesn't all add up and there is a warped sense in it all. What have I missed?

    CE


    Letter #12 (29 July 2001) to Isis

    Kind Isis, I have deleted your email address from my computer and you should feel free to "block" me from your boxes if you wish. I'll miss writing you. You may feel that I am bad, which is not true or with many emotional problems, I'll let Aumen be the judge of that.

    If S.A.I. is of the light and of the truth, there is nothing to be concerned about. Denial has been a problem at S.A.I. and shifting the blame focus onto others instead of dealing with past and present S.A.I. problems and concerns. I tried to come to Yesai with some of my concerns and sometimes he would just say he "didn't want to hear about it." I was very concerned about Asher when he had a very serious ear infection and you were away (so much for Essene healing abilities). And tried to communicate Yesod's concern about Gil unclothing the lower portion of his body in front of Asher to lessen what he thought was Asher's interest in other men's bodies.

    No, I'm not making this stuff up to be sick or perverted or "petty." Yesai just refused to hear. As he said, "I don't want to hear about it, I don't care." These are not things from my imagination. They are real events at a place that claims to be on the true spiritual path with Yeshua and Miryai - a place that claims to be pure and monastic - a place that claims to have the final revelations to Joseph Smith - problems and concerns can't be made better when there is a refusal to listen and simply acknowledge.

    I honestly didn't think it was very healthy in a spiritual community the way Gil would touch you all over etc. Some thing's are just obvious to the casual observer. I talked to Gil about it with no other intention than to try to help. I can relate about having desires etc. All men deal with this. I didn't agree with him about sharing wives etc. The main emphasis at S.A.I. seems to be on being vegan and being spiritually wide open in many different areas except in areas that resemble Judaism or conservative Christianity. But, being wide open actually devalues a culture or spiritual community for at least some seeking people and so people need to have a sense of the general flavor of S.A.I. before they come.

    So let's be really open and honest and tell them. Isn't that fair? Please know I appreciate the kindness you extended to me while with you and I have good to say about you Isis, and each there, not just bad or negative. There are at least two sides to all of us. You know that. I lack in many ways. I am slowly learning. Please do everyone a favor that comes into contact with S.A.I - just be honest and very open. Tell everyone you worship Miryai [Mary Magdalene], that you value the sacred temple whores, that lesbianism is welcome and there's nothings wrong with it and that truth mixed with fairy tales is okay. And please explain all your secret rites and initiations. This way you'll get the type of visitors that really want to be there and it will protect those who really don't want a Gnostic life with a wide mix of spiritual teachings. This will save you and Yesai much energy and disappointments and negative publicity.

    Well, I'll go now. It's okay if you want to blame me for some things, but I'm not the only one to blame. May the best be from the real highest loving intelligence,

    CE


    Letter #13 (29 July 2001) - Open Letter to SAI/ONE Investigators

    To all interested friends, thank you for your encouragement to share about my brief but thought-provoking experiences with S.A.I: Sons Aumen/Ahman Israel (also called O.N.E: Order of Nazorean Essenes, New Qumran, Nazorean Way Monastery and other names). A monastery actually does not exist there. The Matriarch, Amma Isis simply stated it one afternoon "this isn't a monastery" and I thought to myself, "Well, then why did I come and why do you tell people there is one?" I deeply swallowed.

    Their most recent website is called Order of Nazorean Essenes and is very interesting with historical spiritual texts I have not seen elsewhere. Of equal interest is a series of reports on the early and later history of S.A.I. and founder Gilbert Clark, self-renamed Davied Israel, and more recently self-renamed Yesai Israel [recently to Yesai Nasrai - Editor]. He is the Abba [Father, Abbot].

    (The material which S.A.I. does not want you to read or believe is found at www.nccg.org/occult/Occult003-SAI html)

    Yesai's most current wife is renamed Isis Israel. She is the Amma [Mother] Matriarch. In my opinion she is actually not equal to Yesai as he seems to be the final authority, though the children have told me that "when she doesn't get her way, she bitches until she does."

    I know this sounds mean.

    Yesai has three sons from one of his former wives and they do not have a high regard for Isis, though Yesai denies this. This has reinforced my personal opinion that another wife is the ultimate insult to your children from a former wife and I hope that I will now remain single with love for my son and kindness to my former wife who is a wonderful mother to my son.

    I think Isis is generally a very kind and compassionate person, though recently when I began to expose some of my experiences at S.A.I. she emailed me after being silent for a couple months and accused me of being vindictive and a person with many emotional problems. I'll let you and the real God be the judge of that.

    The only current full-time resident, Gil, from Israel has also opposed my sharing of what I have experienced and tends to defend Yesai and Isis on every issue and situation. Gil is also a very kind person and I enjoyed his company and conversation while at S.A.I. I miss our conversations, though he seemed to fly from one spiritual discipline to another and tended to ask new male visitors if they masturbated, how, how often and where. He recently reports his main concern was sexually transmitted diseases and has previously suggested that new arrivals be tested for AIDS etc.

    When I first met Gil he was recommending the drinking of one's urine for health purposes. Sounds gross to me. What do you think? I think Gil is a sincere spiritual seeker. Sadly, genuine spiritual progress at S.A.I. is made complicated by a lack of focus, clarity, openness and simplicity in spiritual matters. The deeper spiritual life there seems to be more based on rituals, ceremony, initiations and secrecy which creates dependency. I have since been told by adepts of various other disciplines that "the complicated complicates" and "the simpler the better" regarding spiritual practices. "Imagination is the key and candles, incense, robes, music and rituals are only effective to the degree that they stimulate the imagination."

    It is important that people who may possibly be interested in visiting or joining S.A.I. realize the following:

      1) S.A.I. worships the Holy Whore Earthly Mother Goddess called Ishtar, Miryai, Mary Magdalene and various other names. She is seen as co-Savior with Jesus/Yeshua and [is] his wife, and she often receives greater attention than Jesus or higher heavenly parents etc.

      2) S.A.I. salvation/enlightenment seems to be based upon the vegan diet, ideally living with them, mystery initiations and secret rituals.

      3) S.A.I. considers all women bisexual and lesbianism is accepted and defended among them.

      4) Yesai told me that whether something is really true or not doesn't matter. S.A.I. considers the mixing of reality with myth acceptable and practices such throughout their belief systems.

      5) S.A.I. claims communion with "angels," spiritual guides and the dead. (I would caution from personal experience in this area that demons/archons and departed spirits commonly imitate people's dead relatives as well as Jesus, the mother Mary, etc.)

      6) S.A.I. as Gnostics deny Jesus' bodily resurrection from the dead.

      7) S.A.I. as Gnostics deny the virgin birth, deny the need for blood atonement, deny most of the Bible as we know it, deny Jesus walked on water and other miracles which others have also actually performed. They don't seem able to say "I'm sorry or I was wrong" about anything.

      8) S.A.I. enjoys astrology, numerology, amulets, talisman's, various divination's, statues and has special grave rites to supposedly ensure the departed go to a higher heaven.

    Concerning the above, I am not condemning S.A.I. or denying their right to believe and practice their religion as they see fit without harm to others. But, I feel they harmed me and others by refusing to be more open and explicit about all they believe and practice and their history as a community. If S.A.I. will be more forthcoming about their past and current beliefs and practices they will more easily attract those who share their path and not waste the time, money and hopes of those who will later leave anyway, disappointed and poorer for the ride.

    I was recently shocked that Yesai had embraced and published on his Nazorean website an article extolling the beauty and wonders of prostitution, ritual temple prostitution and street sluts. I guess even he got a little embarrassed and pulled it from his Miryai Magdalene web page.

    Basically there is a gentle prodding by S.A.I. to join S.A.I. to be enlightened and loved by the Heavenly Parents. S.A.I. claims to know and have the way. They claim to be the "children of light." From exploring various groups and beliefs, I feel that S.A.I. may be a negative cult due to the following: separation, dependency, superiority, indoctrination, parent-child/abba-novice relationship, and indoctrination with guidance to leave one's previous beliefs and relationships.

    I have not known Yesai Israel to really come clean about his past and when challenged about current beliefs or practices he tends to shut down communication at times. He is a soft-spoken spiritual guru who at times will just say "I don't care, I don't want to hear about it, I think you're being petty." Like many groups, when there's a problem, you're the problem, not the guru. Yesai's youngest son had a reputation among the children of being interested in men's bodies and would grab their bottoms at school and home etc. He is perhaps eight or nine years old. So resident Gil pulled down his own pants and underwear one day in front of Yesai's young son to show him what he looked like in order to discourage the son's seemingly homosexual tendency. Another son told me about this and I tried to communicate to Yesai about it. He responded "I don't want to hear about it. I don't care." Wouldn't most fathers care about something like this?

    In the fall of 2000 I began to be interested in finding out more about the various Essenes in history and came upon an "Essene Church of Mount Carmel" on the computer operated by an Abba James who had formerly been in close association with Yesai Israel. Seems like all the Essenes are Abbas. He offered a correspondence course online which I began at the time, but then later found out the material was almost identical to Yesai Israel's. Yesai later explained Abba James had pirated his original material and so I requested a hard copy of the Essene Introductory course from Yesai which he promptly mailed to me. [For the true facts behind this, see Brother Jim's Testimony - he has sinced renounced the "Abba" title]

    I fell in love with the Nazorean Essenes I read about. A loving, vegetarian, pure, positive, spiritual people living on and near Mount Carmel and in other areas.

    Time went on and at one point I came across the NCCG.ORG website which contained some frightening stories about S.A.I. It was so bad and bizarre it made me sick at first for I had been led to believe that Yesai and his community was really a pure place with sincere people like the Essene Nazoreans I was studying about. But, within a few days and with counter explanations from Yesai and Isis, I was again believing the best about S.A.I. and believing NCCG.ORG and it's author Christopher Warren were untrue.

    Early in 2001 I went to visit S.A.I. for a week. Yesai and Isis were very hospitable to me. I had previously given them hundreds of dollars and I tithed to them and they were my church. Yesai explained they were still a very small group even after ten years.

    They have a pottery shop and work some in there. Some of the molded work was to me simply idols of long ago. Yesai commented one day on the enormous breasted Willendorf idol, "that's a little much even for me," he said with a smile. I liked their plates and pottery cups. The pottery and art work like the S.A.I. teachings and spiritual practices seemed to be a mix of many different things and there was little dogma except that of being vegan. Though I soon discovered small mammals were being killed in traps in the garden during certain times of the year and they continued to use photographic film which contained animal products, eventually I came to the conclusion that very, very few people are actually vegan and it seems to be a label that some use to set themselves apart from others and to help them feel closer to God and more spiritual, which is their choice.

    During my visit, Yesai seemed to be a very sincere man and spiritually searching. I continued to be concerned though about the Aleister Crowley and Golden Dawn books about the house. But I admired his gift for writing and some of his art work. I made his drawing of Jesus & Mary Magdalene my altar icon picture.

    Though I didn't think much of brothers and sisters having long uncut hair, it seemed a small thing and could be overlooked for the joy of living together as equal brothers and sisters, growing our own healthy vegan food and growing closer to the heavenly family and learning deeper spiritual secrets and methods. In my conscience I had concern about moving to S.A.I. from New York and being so far away from my seven year old son, but Yesai assured me that it was good to be in the community of light and out of the contaminating world with all of the moral and industrial pollution's and that God would provide for J and me though I could not see or financially provide for him. Spiritual enlightenment was even more important. Within a short time I was on my way to S.A.I. in northern Arizona with all my belongings to live with my new brothers and sisters.

    It was common that we would see Yesai's wife Isis in the arms of Gil in the morning - it wasn't a brother-sister hug. Sometimes they would be under a blanket together etc. I spoke a couple of times to Gil about this. Gil felt it might be okay for men to share their wives and asked me if I felt Isis was a flirt? He also asked if I were married if i would share my wife with him.

    I think Isis is a good person and I like her. I do think in a spiritual community, women as a favor to men and themselves should dress modestly and not show off their bellies and breasts and button up their jeans etc. Just my opinion from living various places where singles and families live together.

    G, a visitor from England, and myself became friends at S.A.I. Yesai was concerned that we were spending too much time together, Yesai even tried to prevent me from driving G to the airport to fly back home. Yesai didn't like us talking. G found out that Yesai claimed to have the lost revelations given to Jospeh Smith etc. and he had never been told that Yesai had previous ties and influences from Mormonism. He felt terribly deceived and couldn't sleep much. In the end he told Yesai what he thought of him and demanded some of his money back. G encouraged me not to eat the food there "from the common pot," he kept telling me he could feel something wrong about the place. You know, G and I were probably more spiritually sensitive than Yesai and Isis and Gil. You know why? We left. They are still there.

    Well, our world and ourselves are a mix of many things here. I'm of the opinion that most of those who claim to have the truth don't even have a glimpse of it or worse are badly deceived. I am just a little human with the same desires and dreams that others also share.

    The above unscholarly letter has been written to give somewhat of a flavor of S.A.I. from my perspective. You might go there and love it, who am I to say? I wish Isis and Yesai and Gil and the children whatever is best for them. At first I fell in love with the Miryai-Yeshua Heavenly Parents model, but as I spent more time living there and examining the web teachings, I felt something was wrong and off course. I think each person should listen to their heart and conscience regarding any spiritual order or community. You can feel if it is of the truth and right for you or not, don't be swayed by men's reasoning, historical interpretations or emotions. Just be quiet and listen. Think about what you really want. Look at the actual fruit of a community. What are they doing? what are they producing? How are the children doing? What is really going on? Clarity will come.

    The internet has provided a wonderful diversity of opinion and reported observation. I hope Yesai and Isis and Gil will not blame me for what I have expressed here for I wish them heaven's best. But I needed to say at least a few things to help others be more careful before they would choose to move to S.A.I. Though I do not trust Yesai Israel and think he should be paying child-support to the mother's of the children he has fathered and be much more open about his actual life, I also wish him the best and hope that one day, he will be willing to tell what has really happened at S.A.I. I no longer consider him to be specially enlightened or a spiritual teacher or Abba.

    While at S.A.I. I found the times of meditation together very meaningful and this can be done anywhere together or alone. And you don't need incense and Buddha statues/idols or a Patriarch or Matriarch, just love for God and good intentions toward others.

    To those reading this letter, I would encourage you to carefully examine what S.A.I. has to say and what sites such a NCCG.ORG have to say.

    The Google search engine will locate Gilbert Clark, S.A.I., Order of Nazorean Essenes and Sons Ahman Israel etc.

    Perhaps this will help someone. Take care and be careful,

    CE.


    Letter #14 (30 July 2001)

    Hi Christopher, as I remember additional things at S.A.I. I may write to you about these and you have my permission to integrate them any way you see fit into information about S.A.O.

    I want to mention that Yesai Israel discouraged me from speaking about Yahweh as the highest God and of spelling and saying Jesus as Yah'shua. The Yah and Yahweh concerned him as he felt a god of one of the worlds just above is Yahwar and is not terribly positive.

    Yesai also explained to me that most of the Bible as we know it has been inspired by the Jewish God of death and that Nazorean-Essenism is the "polar opposite" of Judeo-Christian thought and belief.

    Yesai would sometimes say you don't need much money to live that if you are willing to live with your brothers and sisters and share that Yeshua-Miryai will provide and protect. Yet, for sometime the community sewage was overflowing onto the surrounding land and even onto a neighbor's property. Yesai asked me to dig a ditch from the full sewer tank across the driveway to a lower area where he suggested it could openly flow so he wouldn't have to pay $600 to have his sewer tank pumped. A neighbor called "Talking Turtle" who had formed his own Indian tribe told me he couldn't understand how Yesai could just let he sewage overflow and how he just let junk sit around on his land when he and Isis claimed to be vegan and have such a high regard for the earth. Talking Turtle said that if even half of what he heard about S.A.I. in past years were true it was pretty bad. Talking Turtle's dog Zoie rolled in some of Yesai's sewage on Turtle's property near the van he lived in. The dog then entered his bed and rolled around in it.

    Yesai does do some pottery work but I never saw him in there more than an hour a day maximum. Isis and Gil seemed to do most of the pottery. Yesai said reading and writing on the computer was "his job." Nice job I thought.

    Isis for years has had a problem with one of her feet which get tumors and sometimes have to be operated on. It's often painful for her. But Yesai, said he was glad she had to experience the pain for it has made her a more suitable mate for him. He said Faith resented him and Isis because she didn't think they would have as good a relationship as they do [the same thing she said when my own wife was seduced by Gilbert - Editor], yet Yesai told Gil that when people get married they have sex for a couple years and then it pretty much ends. Little by little I discovered this guy is no spiritual source of wisdom.

    Yesai and Isis were nice to me. They even gave me my own room downstairs. I was surprised Crowley's Book of the Law was even in there. Some of the books were interesting. In this room I had the spiritual experience that took me to a dark realm with the spirit I referred to. And in this room which I let G borrow when he was visiting, he couldn't sleep a few nights for he sensed something bad in there.

    Yesai and Isis underestimate the potential presence of lower entities of whatever source, which surprises me for they subtly claim to be more spiritually in tune with things. This I have to question. Gil just flits from one question to another, searching and prodding here and there for spiritual enlightenment. He also has had suggestions implemented concerning Yesai's new correspondence course. He's a nice guy. Claims he hasn't masturbated (which is a topic he always comes back to) in a couple years. He quickly gets into discussions about people's sexual habits. He likes to physically contact Isis whenever possible. It's a loose moral feeling there. I'm not saying anything serious was going on, but it could have.

    After they gave me the room downstair, they moved the computer operation into a room upstairs which Isis would go to in the morning when she would work on the computer and the vegan garden etc. In this room is a ladder which takes you to the top of the house to Gil's room. Sometimes in the morning Gil and Isis would be up in his room. Yesai rises later usually. One day I went to open the door of the computer room and there was a sudden startled movement in the room. I entered and Gil and Isis were under a blanket together. Let's just put it this way, it didn't look good at times.

    Y the 14 year old, youngest boy of Faith's (as far as I can determine, E and S being older, still in High School) discussed the Gil/Isis relationship. Y felt that they were not having sex as Yesai would divorce her if she did with another man. [Editor - in actual fact, all the evidence is that Gil is in the Patri-Matriarchal polyamorous marriage arrangement]. He claims Yesai divorced his mother faith because she cheated on him three times. Yesod got me into trouble with Yesai, because he would go back and tell him everything I would say. Yesai told him that Gary and I were the only people who had ever been there who didn't like him. Yesai came to me and explained how I was making it more difficult for him as a father by the things I was talking about with Y.

    Y had all his music CDs confiscated by Colorado School authorities. A short time ago Colorado City polygamists started there own private school and pulled out their children from the public school in their town but they continue to be employed and run the public school. Yesod's CD's were pretty negative. Isis went over there to get them back. She got back some of them.

    Isis was nice to me and bought guitar strings for me and put together a birthday package to send to my son J.

    I regret going out there. I should have known better and listened to my heart. When I saw Yesai's pictures on your website I could tell something wasn't right with him as a spiritual leader. I can often tell now by looking at people having dealt with a number of self-proclaimed "gifted" people. Honestly, a lot of times, the only gift, is another questionable spirit aiding them. I tend to feel this is likely at S.A.I. Isis is a good person and I don't think she deserves any extra grief. She has a three year old daughter and a boy of about eight years old, but I'm not sure if Yesai fathered the boy or if Isis brought him with her when she moved in. Faith's boys tend to resent and pick on Asher. Asher tends to hurt his little sister when no one is looking. Isis and Yesai disagree on child discipline, Isis being very lax. But if Isis is gone away, Asher has to tow the line with Yesai.

    I'm beginning to think the whole Essene thing is a waste. I think Yesai has latched onto them, whoever they really were, to provide credibility and a non-christian link to Jesus that supports almost whatever you wish to learn and do spiritually or morally if you wish to push things in that direction.

    It was guest G's opinion that Yesai wanted to sleep with 23 year old resident A who used to be staying there with her two year old daughter. I think this may not be true, but G thought he knew. I liked A and thought of marrying her, but it is good things didn't work out, it would have really hurt my son big time. Yesai was dead wrong about the good of my being out there. It was a big mistake.

    Isis was once asked to leave the Colorado City grocery store because she went in there wearing too little clothes for the Mormon store. Isis likes to show off her belly. However after G and I were there and suggested a more modest dress, Yesai found a seamstress in Colorado City who is making robes for the residents of S.A.I. Evidently they are mainly for use on the property though one would be free to wear them other places if they wished.

    Yesai came to me one day when we liked each other better and said I was a low maintenance member as I was content to study quietly on my own vs. Gil who Yesai had to be concerned about making happy or he might leave.

    Tony Sova may be living there now [as] "Yahisha". He moved there after I left, but he may now have left there as well. His girlfriend wasn't interested in S.A.I. and though he had previous plans of marrying her, it appears he had initially chosen S.A.I. over her.

    Take care, CE

    P.S. Yesai really needs to start talking someday.


    Letter #15 (31 July 2001)

    Hi Christopher, I have not really been sure what is best concerning my name vs. being anonymous. I have nothing to hide and nothing to fear so please go ahead and use my name ... [Editot: the author eventually decided that he did not wish his name associated with this page and so it was removed on 16 September 2001 in accordance with his wishes. This is because of all the emotional trauma that has been generated by this controversy in his life].


    Letter #16 (31 July 2001)

    Hi again Christopher, concerning Tony Sova (Yahisha) who may or may still be living at S.A.I. (though i'm guessing not) go to the www.google.com search engine and type in Yahisha Tony Sova it will bring up two entries of five. Click on the request for the omitted results and you'll get some of his correspondence regarding his heart about the Essenes-Nazoreans and Hare Krishna. [Editor - the main articles, on a Hare Krishna site, had been removed by the time I got around to searching for them].

    I never met Tony but he was fairly outspoken about the "Essene" way and rejecting the Bible as we know it, so i was surprised when I read his posting where he said the only reason he went with the Essenes was the male-female equality issue. You'll see. It will give you a feel for who he is. We emailed back and forth some. He couldn't understand why I would ask simple questions about the Essenes and about S.A.I. on the S.A.I. Gnostic Forum while I was actually living with Yesai and could just ask him in person. But, this was because Yesai kept asking me help stir up interest on the web by posting messages and asking questions.

    It's interesting with people I've known who get deep into the Essene thing and teachings. It's kind of like they get into another world. It's like their own little world. Seems like the vegan way is like their eternal security blanket. If they stopped being vegan what would happen? As I may have said, I love animals and I don't buy meat, but I eat meat from time to time when I go out to eat, in a way just to break the legalism and rule of being vegan and not be under any law about it. I don't want [a] vegan label. Yesai and Isis both told me as well as the study course that evil spirits are around the area where meat is being cooked, served and eaten, even at the meat section in the grocery store. I'm not making fun of this. I just think the more sensible approach with meat-eating is to take it from a health position first and not be under law about it. These are just my opinions. If it had not been for Isis and reasonable information and statistics she gave me, I would probably be eating less healthy food right now, so I'm thankful to her.

    I'm remembering a morning at S.A.I. right now. A, a young woman who rented a room from S.A.I. and worked at her father's business was having breakfast with me. The subject of same-sex relationships came up and lesbianism with A expressing that there was nothing wrong with it and it would be fine for it to happen at S.A.I. behind closed doors. I disagreed and pointed out that in S.A.I's holy rule book it forbade any homosexual relationships and I didn't realize up to that point that lesbianism was accepted by Yesai and Isis. Well, I asked Isis a little later if we could talk. We went into the computer room upstairs and I graciously expressed my concern. She looked lovingly at me with kind of a blank look. It's a look I've seen on people who are very wide open to most anything spiritual and are also guarded inside and thinking about what they will or will not share with you.

    She thought a bit, said nothing, and then responded happily, "Let's ask Yesai. Let's see what he has to say." Yesai came in and I expressed my concern that lesbianism might be accepted at S.A.I. and that the Holy Rule Book for S.A.I. monastic forbids homosexuality and upheld monogamous marriage. Yesai looked at the floor most of the time I spoke. Then he explained that lesbianism is acceptable, but that I have nothing to be concerned about, that I am worrying about things that will never come to be. That it's just one of many issues and that in the past they tried to be up on what everyone was doing, but that requires a lot of time and energy, it's draining.

    At that point I told Yesai what I thought of him and his laid back approach to life and community. I guess I really got worked up, then I became more calm, but said I was leaving, perhaps to go back to the Twelve Tribes who had the closest community in Colorado and where same-sex relationships do not exist. He said when I was speaking he could not even think because so much negativity was coming at him. I thought, "this is interesting, he is a supposed highly spiritual man and I am able to wreck his train of thought. Is he telling the truth?" Seemed like he was. And I wondered if some people who are most spiritually sensitive are also more vulnerable in some ways. I later asked forgiveness of Yesai and Isis, but as I would come to realize, forgiveness really isn't in the vocabulary of those who are very much into reincarnation. It doesn't seem like they can say "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you." There was just a positive blank loving look and understanding to a degree.

    The place felt like there were no real boundaries, like everything was relative and anything was plausible, except the Bible, and basic Christian doctrines which were considered false and from the god of death.

    I do not rule out historic tampering with the Bible, etc., and I find the "Essene" positions interesting and some plausible concerning the Christian canon of scripture and other scriptures that many have been intentionally left out, but what I came to see was that in some areas S.A.I. had their doctrines. I heard a lot about Pitis Sophia and Miryai Magdalene. I'm not impressed. God only knows who these goddesses really are. I will not say more. It's interesting to me that Edgar Cayce, whom Yesai quotes from, says Mary Magdalene (Miryai) was indeed a well know and well-off prostitute before meeting Yah'shua/Jesus, but Yesai has denied she was a prostitute at all at times. That I found myself asking myself was this, "How do you really know?", "you're giving me all this information. I don't know if it is true, do you?"

    Yesai would always have an answer, but he would never react or get upset. I found this odd for a human, to never react or get upset. And I began to wonder if it was because he was more spiritual and close to "the Heavenly Parents" or did it mean he just didn't really care. I'm still not sure. But I sensed over and over something amiss/out of place at S.A.I.

    One day an older man soaked from the rain walked to the house from the highway carrying a fairly heavy backpack. It turned out to be Friar James. Yesai invited him in. He is self-proclaimed monk, a traveling friar in search of the real Jesus. He was kind of gruff and opinionated in Gil's words. I was happy Yesai had someone interested in all his historic studies. They were able to talk a long time. But after I left S.A.I, Gil told me Friar James also left having said that Jesus told him to. James moved next door to Talking Turtle's land, van and straw bale living room where Turtle had started a small Indian nation for those not accepted by any tribe because of lack of enough or no native American blood. I don't know if Friar James is still there or not.

    Christopher, I never heard anything I can remember about your wife, except that Isis mentioned you said bad things about S.A.I. because your wife left you and it wasn't their fault.

    While I was there evidently a former wife or lover of Yesai's (not Faith) was trying to get him to pay some form of child-support for a daughter of his that appeared to be far away. I was always curious about this girl. I once told Yesai without thinking that I felt sorry for his children. How many children has he actually fathered? Sometimes I'm not sure what to think about Yesai, whether he's a real jerk, deceived, sincere but rather stupid or trying to live off others and, well, I do conclude he's secretive. Many times I told him and Isis after leaving that I don't understand Yesai, he's mystery to me. And mystery to me is not a good sign. He told me fathers don't need to pay child-support if the other parent is raising them anyway and they are living with the other parent [Ed. I would agree with this under certain conditions]. What's more important is growing spiritually and within the community of light building homes for children and having them be able to come later and live on the land.

    Regarding the Pistis Sophia and the goddess emphasis, I'm not impressed. Yesai considers the highest first cause or Heavenly Parents in his words to be male and female even at the very highest level. I tend to doubt this. I suspect the very highest god is both and neither, just my opinion. I'm not impressed by what he calls the Nazorean radical dualism. He considers Jesus/Yeshua and Miryai to be our creators. Frankly, within his universe Yesai and Miryai could actually be any god and goddess. I don't trust the S.A.I. program anymore.

    I keep thinking, "What does Yesai really want, what is he after?" I know he likes to read on his bed and work on his website.

    He told me once he felt uncomfortable sharing about his spiritual experiences because it was very personal. I felt kind of sorry for him not being able to talk more. He also said to me once that he wished I had more questions about things. The only spiritual experience he ever shared with me was about how he followed his mother after she died to some higher levels where she couldn't be traced any further. He seemed sincere.

    Soon after I first moved in, Yesai and I were talking about the NCCG.ORG "slander-site" and Yesai commented, "Can't you tell we're not like that?" Well, I thought about it and responded in my heart, "I really don't know. Appearances are deceiving."

    When I moved in I gradually kind of withdrew into my room and into the work there. Not all the time, but that was the tendency. A's two year old daughter was a real brat, frankly, and I didn't like listening to the young girls yell and whine. Isis's daughter Norea who was I think three years old or close to it was still breast feeding. G couldn't understand why this little girl was always asking for meme's. I told him she still breast feeds and is asking for that. Seemed odd to me, a late two or three year still breast feeding, but Isis explained they do that in some countries. Isis was against immunizations as was another community I lived at. People used to die of polio and other diseases before children started getting immunized. Maybe I don't understand something about this.

    After being at S.A.I. a while I realized that people aren't made perfect through self-effort, yoga's, and numerous new-age strategies.

    I'm glad i'm not there, now. It was a weird experience. I don't think Isis knows about Yesai's former loves etc. or she has chosen to ignore the things that went on. Isis feels I am trying to hurt her family and that I pretended to be a nice guy but really am not. I guess people who know me will have to come to their own conclusion. I am more of a solitary person and I don't like to be pestered or play mind games. I like Isis and Gil and wish Yesai the best. All I can say is that in my spirit I do not sense they are on a good spiritual path. Something is missing and something wrong and peculiar has been added. It's like a recipe with an ingredient missing and a wrong one added. It is also possible I am wrong and have misjudged them, but I don't think so.

    CE


    Letter #17 (3 August 2001)

    Christopher, I noticed Tony Sova's (Yahisha's) comments aimed at you regarding his claims that you and Christians believe in a God who puts children in a burning hell. This is very interesting, but it has been my experience that the large majority of Christians do not hold this as their belief at all. I have known some in the Catholic faith that believe if a baby is not baptized, it would, if she dies, go to a limbo existence (at least for a time), but most Christians of all flavors I have known believe that children are secure (perhaps ultra-Calivinsts an exception). Tony's statements are interesting in that they reflect a lack of tolerance and freedom of speech & belief from him and those who claim to be very tolerant and respectful of others beliefs and religions.

    While I was staying at S.A.I., Yesai, Isis, Gil and I would enjoy scheduled times of meditation together. Gil has said that the meditation times were his previous recommendation to Yesai (Davied Israel/Gilbert Clark) which were accepted and implemented. Sometimes Yesai or Isis would read from various religious texts. During more than one such meditation session, Isis read from some Buddhist texts, and they very clearly stated that you could/would burn in a buddist hell for stepping on or intentionally or unintentionally killing insects during the day. Isis was quick to add that she didn't believe this (and I then wondered why bother with the text at all if it's so in error on an important doctrine). Yesai gently added that he didn't believe insects had souls. But I began to ask myself, "How does Yesai know? He doesn't explain how he knows what he says is so, yet he is obviously the self-appointed authority, which is his choice and the other individuals choosing to follow him if they so wish. What I wish to point out is that other spiritual paths S.A.I. respects and integrates into their overall belief system are complete with hells. Some religions have many hells with many tortures worse than what you hear about in the various forms of Christianity. It has become apparent to me that part of the process of S.A.I. may be a subtle attack on various forms of "fundamentalism" and various aspects of overall Christianity with great liberty to redefine Yah'shua (Jesus) and cast Him into the type of 'Essene' Yesai wishes to portray.

    For example, their Jesus did not do the miracle of feeding the five thousand with the loaves and fishes. It was with the loaves and grapes. What would happen to S.A.I. if it turns out Jesus ate some fish from time to time? Devastating! I am not judging Yesai or Tony in regards to their sincerity, but do feel they are not giving the same tolerance to overall Christianity, the Moslem religion and various forms of fundamentalism as they give to other religions that better fit their created spiritual pattern. And interesting, some of the paths they like to study and selectively draw from have many horrible hells.

    Personally, I do not deny or confirm hell realms. I can't remember being to any burning places, but have spiritually gone to dark realms and light. My feelings are there are many hell realms suited to the degree of education-reform-puishment needed/deserved. But, I really do not know. Yesai has commented on hell with the purpose of "going through a quick cleansing" vs. many additional earth incarnations. Within S.A.I. and among those who claim to be "Essene" (whatever that really means, since it carries different definitions among those devoted to the label) it would seem more appropriate to those engaged to affirm more often "I don't know" (regarding various beliefs when they really do not know). I do not claim to be Christian or Essene or any other label at this point. I respect various sincere believers in God, but don't have much use for those whose apparent aims are the extraction of money, labor, energy or devotion from sincere seekers, especially when the sincere are baited by claims of eventual enlightenment etc. One Zen Master confided once that in his religion the ultimate revelation is that "nothing really matters" and "it's all a big joke." Even though I disagree with this, I would much rather walk with this man than those who are continually alluding to and claiming deeper mysteries and gnosis [knowledge] for the gradually initiated. I'm afraid for many in the so-called "mystery schools" the tests or worthiness are mainly to determine if you will keep you mouth shut and continue to swallow instructions and continue to humbly be under another's control. Is this what a Heavenly Mother and Father want for us? The deeper secret in my lowly opinion is: you don't need S.A.I. alluring you. It's another illusion for those who would rather follow another's interpretations and instructions. It's your choice.

    It has been obvious that S.A.I. has felt threatened, Christopher, by your observations, testimony and research regarding the organization and the original Gilbert Clark. If S.A.I. were secure in their love and confidence in their Heavenly Mother and Father (as they claim), would they need to even think about creating a rebuttal against you or what you have reported, even if what you said were a total lie (which in my opinion is now very unlikely), would not the heavenly mother and father come to their aid? And would not the married vegan Yeshua and Miryai encourage them not to lash out against another human and what they have to sincerely state?

    As I got to know S.A.I. (Order of Nazorean Essenes) and "Abba" Yesai better, I realized that they also had little real ability to heal one another or really change their physical situations. I've been in churches and spiritual orders where definite permanent physical healings have visibly taken place, without doubt.

    While a resident at S.A.I, Isis' son Asher (age 8?) came down with a terrible ear ache. Isis needed to be out of the house for a time. He came to be in terrible pain. I expected Yesai to be able to effect a healing. None came as he mainly continued to work at his computer website and read books. Asher was crying in terrible pain throughout the day. I'm not indicating a lack of concern on Yesai's part. I was also insensitive to Asher's pain, as in other religious communes I have been in, going to the doctor is the very last resort, which is odd for places that claim to be so in tune with God/Heavenly Parents, yet from whom little or no healings manifest. Isis returned and took Asher to the doctor. His ear infection had become so bad that his eardrum had ruptured and was continuing to bleed. So much for the holistic Essene-Nazorean gifts of healing.

    It is not my intent to be mean or insulting. I believe there once were real Essenes as there are now, whether they even call themselves Essenes. Of this I am sure, you don't need to be dependent on or live at S.A.I. or any other religious commune to be close to the Hheavenly Parents, to receive deeper spiritual illumination-enlightenment or to live a more healthy or fulfilling life. Though outwardly each S.A.I. resident would affirm this, their specific teachings and courses do not.

    As for Tony Sova accusing others of having an infantile concepts of god, I must ask: who is Tony Sova? We are all little human beings here with various little gifts and glimpses of goodness. I would assume that I know less than Tony Sova and Yesai, yet each of us knows little. Tony, Yesai, Isis and others have chosen to embrace the labels and "Essene" doctrines and rituals that in my opinion are man-made and inspired by lesser spiritual intelligence's for the most part. But that is their choice and my honest opinion and I honestly wish them happiness and purpose in this life and beyond.

    I would like to say to those interested in spiritual communes or any religious/spiritual path, be careful. Are those involved ready to absorb your time, energy, talents and finances? If so, why? What do they really want? Do they want a better life for you than they want for themselves? What do you really want? Have you made assumptions based on incomplete information or shaky claims that they have what you need and really want?

    Yesai, told me more than once, "you don't need much money to live" and Gil added that if people live a healthy life and eat right, why would they need to go to the doctor at all? That sounds good but isn't reality for most people and not reality at S.A.I. Yesai didn't even want to spend the needed $600 to have his septic tank pumped out so he and his neighbor would not have flooding sewage pools on their properties. "You don't need much money?" Does the earthly mother want your raw sewage? Have you defiled the earth?

    On previous S.A.I. webpages there were urgent requests for donations of money and office equipment and whatever a person wished to give which could be shipped up to S.A.I. I gave them hundreds of dollars. You know, I'm not trying to be disrespectful to heaven by saying this but if you're the children of light and the ones so deeply in tune with the holy family, why don't you even have the money to pump your polluting septic tank or take your child to the doctor? No amount of mystical gnostic explanations and historic texts mean much when your neighbor's dog is rolling in your sewage and your child is in pain. Where are the deep Essene secrets and healing abilities? Where are your heavenly parent's provisions? Were you following your program? What have your divination's and astrology's accomplished? Have the numbers added up to the correct sum totals or should you continue to change your names in order to better spin the spiritual roulette wheel? What high hopes are you encouraging people to have? Can you deliver? Will you tell people it's their fault when they come, live with you and then leave disappointed and disillusioned as most of the people have who have ever come? What is the historic truth of S.A.I? Where are the first residents and members? What do they say now? Are you willing to ask them what they think and allow the world to hear? Who is telling the truth about Sons Ahman Israel, the newly named Order of Nazorean Essenes? Would the historic essenes be proud of you? When people abide in your order and sense something is very wrong, will you continue to blame them for what they felt? Or is there more to the story? Will you speak against me for sharing my simple concerns? After I left, why did you ignore me for so long? Why have you asked me now not to ever write to you again?

    I am deeply grateful I built up enough energy, negative and positive, to leave S.A.I./O.N.E. I continue to like Isis and resident Gil. Though I do not, and cannot, trust Yesai (Gilbert Clark), I recognize his writing ability, some art-gifting and powerful talent to assimilate spiritual texts and teachings from diverse sources and to form and reform his religion.

    I'm interested to see the eventual outcome of S.A.I. but I hope no other guests or residents are injured in the process.

    A final thought to you who may be reading this: you have all that you need, heaven's love and blessing apart from any dependency on S.A.I. or any guru's or "Abbas."

    Take care, live and prosper,

    CE


    Letter #18 (4 August 2001)

    Hi Christopher,

    You're welcome for my simple observations and thoughts, wish I could be more thorough, but cannot justify the time at present to better present thoughts and history other than as it comes to mind as I recall and write.

    [Editor: the following misinformation was fed to CE by Gilbert Clark but is reporduced here to show once again the dishonesty of the man. I have since spoken with "N" who does not wish his name to appear in public. Another article follows giving a summary of N's experiebce with Gilbery Clark and SAI].

    N. Very interesting. Ever hear of Brag's (Brag's sp?) liquid amino protein in a bottle? I've been told he has the Brag lady or her and husband on his altar at home. Sounds like a nice guy.

    Well, I first became aware of N as I was searching out the word 'Essene' on the web. Peculiar how a curiosity one day can lead up to travel and peculiar experiences. At first I was enheartened and hopeful about what I read on N's web page. But then I saw pictures of himself that he had posted showing himself being arrested by the police for trespassing on military base(s) and splattering fake blood around if I remember correctly. Yesai later commented that N likes attention and puts on demonstrations to gain that.

    Well, I wrote to N at one of his addresses and he replied shortly thereafter. He seemed kind and genuine. I also asked him about New Qumran community, but he was not familiar with that community (which was actually S.A.I, though I was in the New Qumran webpage. New Qumran actually does not exist at all as I previously commented). N did mention he knew of a Davied who led a group and that's all that was stated. As I read more of his webpage, I was really sickened by his protests, seeking publicity, and involvement with Rastafarianism [Editor - I repeat, all of this is misinformation fed tyo CE by Gilbert Clark]. Still, I enjoyed many articles he presented online and he seemed less religiously formal than New Qumran (S.A.I.) and not as complex.

    Yesai commented that he and N had once visited another country together. It may have been Jamaica, but not sure. It was a predominantly black population where they were with men openly carrying around knives and guns and looking oddly at the white men. I don't remember how it occurred but Yesai and Nazariah became separated and Yesai said N actually deserted him [Editor - the opposite is in fact true]. It took Yesai time to reach safety. Cannot remember the details or why they decided to go there. [Editor - see article about N for clarification].

    Yesai claims that N is in reality not fruitarian as he claims to be [Ed. - he never claimed to be] and teaches and if I am not mistaken, perhaps not even vegan. N last I knew still had at least one picture of his former [wife] renamed NN on his website, yet the marriage to her only lasted a very short time, perhaps a few weeks. NN (don't recall real name) has been living with new husband in Canada I was told and they both are interested in working with Yesai if he moves the community to the northwest, according to Yesai. When I was last at S.A.I. plans were being made to sell the sofas upstairs to be able to more easily move and also achieve a nicer simplicity using pillows in the meantime.

    On N's webpage he, unlike Yesai, tells of personal spiritual experiences and revelations, like fasting for days outside and how a group of birds walked up to him in the morning and spoke to him. You can read it on his webpage. He also tells of going through "the wall of fire" after many days of fasting, perhaps forty days. Yesai says he doesn't believe any of it, but commented that N is very good at promotions, like getting together seminars. G also used to work with him, but last I heard she wants nothing to do with him. She is evidently wealthy with a home in another country. Most people that know or have worked with N feels he is concerned most about himself, self-centered and basically a liar in some areas. I don't know if this is true or not. He seems like an interesting person at any rate.

    NN came to S.A.I. for at least a visit at one time I was told. She like another guest had claimed to be fruitarian, but in practice were not. Yesai said he caught her sneaking to the fridge when no one was around at night. I guess during the day she was fruitarian and at night was secretly not.

    There's an older man named Buzz who has had contact with Yesai and is very wealthy. He would like Yesai to work with him, but I sensed Yesai felt like he might come to be controlled or directed. Am not sure of the details. Two former associates of Yesai's went to northern California, I believe, to start an Essene community, but the land they owned or rented was flood-prone. Yesai didn't want to build a community there and it seemed like Yesai in a humble way wanted the control of things he works on. Not democracy for sure. He told me once when we were talking about forms of community government, that what would have happened to S.A.I. if there had been a democracy when the rival faction (Crowleyites) came to be: "They would have easily taken over, they almost did."

    Someone is picking me up soon and will have to go suddenly when he comes. My car is being fixed today. Kind mechanic.

    Yesai said that N's desired form of community is more "hippieish" and his own is "more monastic."

    I think I may have explained this before, but I was very hurt over a few things that happened at S.A.I. you see, G, the black visiting man from England, originally from Jamaica, had of his own admission been a previous child-molester. For whatever reason he admitted this to Yesai before he came to visit with intentions of baptism, and asked Yesai (having known about his past) if Yesai still wanted him to come. Yesai said he still wanted him to come. G worked very hard digging up the S.A.I. garden for spring planting. Outwardly, he was very polite, but inwardly he felt he was beginning to discern the real Abba Yesai and he did not like what he saw and felt. He felt Yesai would initially "pick people's brains" and he made repeated accusations that Yesai was a phony type of religious man who would seduce and sleep with any woman he could. I know this sounds bad and I am not saying it is true, only that G was convinced of this and expected that Yesai would soon be making love to 23 year old S.A.I. tenant A whose father lived up the road with his two wives at Centennial Park polygamist town (a break-off group from Colorado City polygamists). G strongly felt that both Amma Isis and A were "teasers," women who like to turn you on and then deny you. G thought this way based upon A and Isis who seemingly enjoyed displaying their bellies and A who would casually walk around with pierced navel and unbuttoned jeans. G had long discussions with me about what he felt was community with negative spirits or energies and a morally corrupt leadership. At first he only would talk with me about these things when we were off of S.A.I. property.

    A has since moved out and I don't know the reason why. It may be that living with friends who could watch her little daughter next door to her father's business in a nearby town were the only reasons. A would sometimes smoke pot with Y who may have been the boy wearing the "I love sex" shirt you reported on and S.A.I. denied [Editor - Y would have been too small at this time - it was definitely S, the eldest, whom I have called "Joe"]. By the way, the child's shirt displayed by S.A.I. and the shirt you have a picture of are NOT THE SAME! Your picture is more upclose now, and unless there has been some kind of trick photography on your part, which I don't think is the case, looking carefully at the actual picture you both have of the child, then S.A.I. has purposely taken a picture of a Care-Bear t-shirt and is trying to pass this off as the shirt the child was wearing when, in fact, the young boy was actually wearing the shirt that said "I LOVE SEX." If S.A.I. has indeed covered this all up and lied, my question is, why? Are they embarrassed? Ashamed? Or perhaps, as seems to be the case, they admit nothing that might in any way make them appear less than they have portrayed themselves and S.A.I. to be.

    Well, one evening, Yesai and A went for a ride in my car to a town a little farther away to pick up or return a video and A bought some cigarettes also I think. It's interesting how S.A.I. claims to have a no-smoking policy on any of the property. But in reality, some of the young people are smoking pot and Y and his friends would also smoke on the "monastic" roof. Even Friar James when he visited was also a smoker. Friar James also commented that his seemingly fat belly was all muscle.

    Well, while Yesai and A were out returning a video and or picking one up and some smokes, Yesai happens to remember that Isis is away and G and I are watching A's two year old daughter. Yesai also remembers that G formerly molested children. So what does Yesai do? He tells A that "one of the men used to molest children." A replies that she wants to be able to trust people she lives with. Yesai replies in a quick humble urgent way, "let's hurry back - maybe nothing has happened, but let's hurry back." I knew nothing of this conversation until 14 year old Y and I talked one day and Y said to me, "Well, CE, you won't have to worry about having to watch [A's daughter] ever again." I asked why, and he told me about A thinking I might molest her daughter! (A later confirmed this all. Because of Yesai, she said "[My daughter] is too important to me. I know it's not fair to you, but I have to look out for [her]. I can't take any chances.) To top that off, I looked similar to her cousin who was a child-molester! Not all Mormons live a very holy life to say the least. To this day, I am not sure if Yesai ever told A that G was the former child-molester and not me. Yesai only said it was his fault when I questioned him about the whole thing and he would not have even admitted it had I not specifically questioned him. He never apologized after ruining my reputation there. But perhaps God's hand was in it all for me to see some things and to leave.

    Yesai is famous for responding to whatever he doesn't want to deal with by saying, "it doesn't matter, I don't care, I don't want to hear about it, I think you're being petty." Petty is a favorite rebuttal concept with Yesai.

    Even after I left S.A.A. I tried to really communicate with this guy, but it's hard to get any genuine confession of anything out of him. You know, if he would just be upfront and candid with people, he would have much fewer problems with people. My limited experience with him is that he will lie to save face. His 14 year old, Yesod (at least I think he is Yesai's child, his mother is Faith who lives with her new husband in St.George) [Editor - yes, Y is Yesai's/Davied's child] repeatedly told me he thought "Isis was a bitch and has told her so to her face." this has made her cry before and is mean. I questioned Yesai about this and he denied it and that "Yesod and his brothers love Isis." If Yesai refuses to come clean on the little things, what of the more serious past happenings at S.A.I.?

    I like Isis and do not think she is a bitch. She seems loving and perhaps too wide open, spiritually. I communicated to resident Gil that it is wrong to sleep with another man's wife and that I would not sleep with Isis, even though she is affectionate and beautiful and caring. I wouldn't disrespect Yesai in this way. Isis is a beautiful woman and she has been through a lot in her life. I believe her and Yesai have a good marriage in spite of all that Yesai may be responsible for in the past including various fathered children etc. Anything I have said is not said to injure Isis, but it may, but I had to say some of these things so S.A.I. prospects may understand that Yesai is not a simple straightforward person to deal with. There is a lot beneath the surface. I am not saying he's super evil or something. The frightening part to me is that I do not know. I could not find out. He would not let me. He makes a very big assumption and suggestion that you will just know everything is okay and good there by visiting. As he said "Can't you just tell?" Well, Yesai, no we can't. We need to know more about you. If you're not willing to show and tell, what's the reason? Will the truth injure you?

    In honesty, I started to hug A and Isis in the morning. I kind of fell in love with A, but for reasons stated above, thanks to Yesai, and that I looked similar to her former boyfriend who fathered her daughter she was not interested. Yesai said she sensed my desperation and that "like attracts like" and I should just wait at S.A.I. a couple years and I'll be more spiritually mature and so attract the same in a mate. It's good A and I didn't work out. Her daughter is very, very undisciplined. Frankly, a brat. And [I am] thankful to be near my seven year old son, J, in New York and financially contribute to him and his good mother. Of interest is that Tony Sova and A were in love a few months ago as reported by resident Gil, but A has since moved out and it is uncertain if the 'Rev'. Tony Sova still resides at S.A.I. Essene encampment.

    As I was saying, it became nice to hug A and Isis in the morning. Before G left, he hugged A the final morning and refused to let go. He began kissing her face all over. Before he left, A gave him a piece of jewelry she had made. G took it and threw it in the ditch after going to Yesai's bedroom door and demanding some of his donated money back. G and I both decided there was no way we were going to be baptized there.

    Shortly before I left, Y and Yesai got the hot-tub [Editor - probably the SAI baptistry font] going. Yesai said he has delivered babies in the hot-tub. He said he doesn't like delivering babies, because the woman could die, but he does it because it needs to be done. Y suggested that A and I be in the hot-tub together and he would leave and we could be affectionate. A was not interested at all and I looked like a bigger fool at S.A.I. Y enjoyed setting people up to gossip about one another and make everyone look stupid. I like Y, but would [not]confide in him anymore. I think the past situation between Yesai and former wife, Faith, have left their mark on this boy and his brothers. I feel sorry for them.

    Isis was very kind in putting together a birthday package to send to my son for his birthday. I liked Isis very much and miss her. I think she is a very kind person. I have to agree with you that either she is covering up, knowingly and deceitfully, for Yesai or is ignorant of his potential past. It seems more likely, now that I consider this, that she may be choosing to overlook and not know how things were in her love for Yesai and her family.

    Somehow after a meditation session one day the subject of women's breasts came up and breast implants. It was kind of weird. Yesai said under certain circumstances the men of the community could all want to marry the woman with the biggest breasts. I thought the whole subject was pretty dumb. I told Yesai, some men prefer smaller breasts. He felt a woman in society with bigger breasts would generally be found more favorable. Again, Abba Yesai has the final word or sometimes an authoritative guru silence, if you know what I mean.

    Well, this is all for now. Still think of Yesai and Isis often. And Gil. Hope you know I wish Yesai and Isis and Gil the best. Somehow spiritually we just couldn't mesh. Before I left, Gil and I went for a drive to the sand dunes near by and we had a good talk and he concluded it was probably good I was leaving. Gil is very open minded and asks many questions and thinks. Right now he is even questioning the value of remaining vegan and if being vegan is the wisest thing for people. S.A.I. initially gave me much hope for a better way of life, closer to God and nature with friends who could truly be brothers and sisters. Sometimes I debate a little with myself about whether they failed me or if I failed them or both or neither. It probably doesn't matter now. Of this I am sure, there are various intelligences that have access and knowledge of this world, some with highly questionable motives. An individual or community should be very careful and try to be as discerning as possible as to who spiritually they are open and listening to and receiving guidance and inspirtaion/revelation from.

    One other thing I would like to briefly comment on. I feel in my heart that Yah'shua (Jesus) actually did teach that we would not as a title call any man Abba, Teacher, Father etc. I would think those claiming to [be] Essenes would realize they can all be brothers and sisters without the prior/patriarch Abba title and Rev. so and so. These titles just elevate one above another. Yah'shua wasn't interested in having people call him Father, Teacher, Rabbi, Abba etc. When you get further into this type of thing [SAI] it becomes a parent-child relationship. A Yesai becomes the Abba, you become the disciple, child. But wait, could it be that a Yesai needs to be taught even by you? Has he indeed received deeper secrets, greater knowledge and revelations from heaven? Are we not all brothers and sisters, and yet what is the basis that people truly can be brothers and sisters? Is true brother-sisterhood based on the gnosis mystic knowledge or upon something simpler and greater that all can freely and easily share and know?

    Cconcerning being vegan, I once heard from a man in General American Society who thought he had been in contact with good spiritual guides/masters. They asked him to stop eating meat and set aside a room of his house to be used only to commune with them and he was to wear a robe while in the room. In the end it turned out they were not good or of good intentions.

    Amma Isis told me not to drink milk because "it is pussy and will put cow in my aura." My experience with vegans is that most do not have clue what goes on on the average dairy farm. I now eat [a] little milk and meat. And though I eat some meat, I love animals. I choose a very simple and nutritious generally uncooked diet, but I don't forbid myself any food and I generally eat what is put before me at friends' and relatives'. The pure Essene/S.A.I. way which is taught but not practiced would be not to eat at any table where meat is being served (thus attracting demons) and not to eat at any dining establishment that serves meat.

    Gil once asked Yesai, "What about people that live in areas of the world where there are few or no plants to eat?" Yesai responded, "They shouldn't live there." How's that for deep revelation?

    More and more I am slowly beginning to realize that each of us has what we need. We are loved by heaven and we're here for a reason. My motive for sharing any of my experiences at S.A.I. with you is that I do not feel the Patriarch and Matriarch of S.A.I. (for whatever reason) are truly being candidly forthright about all their past and current beliefs, practices, "mysteries" and instances where others were misled or harmed in any.

    Abba Yesai, it's time to be cleansed as you've spoken about. No, not in a hell realm you have admitted, but by simply and honestly telling us and others about your life and what has happened before and since you've formed S.A.I. - just start talking. Don't shut down. We're not being "petty." We just want to know the truth. Admit the failures. Don't cover them up. Then we can all go on with genuine forgiveness toward each other and a clear clean conscience. It is possible. But silent mystery will not make it happen. Your repeated and prolonged periods of silence only indicate [a] greater likelihood of wrong-doing. And by this I mean harm to others. Let's walk in the light.

    Peace. CE, little friend.


    Letter #19 (9 August 2001)

    Christopher, S.A.I. also has had a webpage in the past called Ahman's Desert Monastery. CE.


    Letter #20 (9 August 2001)

    In a conversation with Yesai's son, Y (who I believe is fourteen years old), Y reports that his father, Yesai, has signed all of S.A.I. property over to his current wife, Isis, and that she takes care of all the finanaces as Yesai does not like to. CE.


    Letter #20 (10 August 2001)

    Hi Christopher, though it saddens me a little that information needs to be shared with the public about S.A.I, it is good that it is happening so people can hear what they otherwise would not be told and would not find out until actually living at S.A.I.

    Abba Yesai has told me he considers King Solomon of the bible to be fictitious and that he considers Solomon's temple to have likely been an Egyptian temple. And King Solomon was likely an Egyptian king. Yesai seems to always know more than the bible.

    Yesai said he also believes that a united Twelve Tribes of Israel also likely did not exist, but instead, each of the twelve or so areas represented by the tribes would have had their own personal gods that they worshipped and would not have been at any given time a nation of Israel worshipping a common God in unity and that the Bible stories were made up. In these and other such speculations and personal Yesai conclusions there's seems to be a reoccurring theme of anti-Judaism (that is, a downgrading of anything Jewish that is not Essene according to Yesai's theories). It is also somewhat troubling that the Yahweh of the Hebrew scriptures is viewed by Yesai as a lower god of death and bloodshed. I do not say this lightly or with ill-intention against any spiritual authority (positive or negative), but from my own limited and humble study, conscience, and intuition, I feel the Holy Whore viewed as a Miryai-Mary Magdalene earth mother goddess by S.A.I. is more likely to actually be a goddess/Medusa/Hag of death, similar to the harlot if not the same recalled in the revelation of John. It is also interesting in Eckankar that they speak of an ancient female soul who incites war, torture and bloodshed etc. everywhere she goes on this earth. These are just my thoughts.

    It's also interesting that through Buddist spiritual exercises we did at S.A.I., one can practice taking on the suffering/sickness/sin of another and as it were convert their darkness back into light. Yet these ways clearly and flatly deny the need for the blood of Yah'shua. Yet, many New Age groups exalt Mayan religion, Aztecs etc. which commonly sacrificed animals and humans. The Mayan temples were sites of cruel torture and sacrifice. Now honored druids also selected children for sacrifice (hence the Yule log etc.). as the High Priest Caiphas said in the bible: "Wouldn't it be better for one man to die for the nation than for all to perish?" Isn't it good that Yah'shua would come and give his life and blood and to end the cycle of human religious sacrifices? The S.A.I. and various Gnostic paths and other non-Judeo-Christian spiritual paths seem to be mostly based on self-perfection, yet imperfect self cannot perfect imperfect self. Throughout my spiritual journey so far, I can see the sacrifice of Yah'shua is embraced with gratitude by some, and, like S.A.I. rejected with disdain by others. Wouldn't it be better to be thankful for Yah'shua's blood? "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins," as you read this, would you agree or disagree? I believe this separates the Gnostics (salvation based upon self-efforts/knowledge/magick/ revelations) from the thankful Israel (salvation through the sacrifice and blood of Yah'shua, once for all, the godly for the ungodly). Yes, it seems clear, the blood of Yah'shua is the dividing line - what we think about it and how one responds to it. Yesai claims Christianity is a romanized cult of death. Life or death? You decide. And, do you need to be saved from anything? Or can you save yourself with the right teachings? [Editor: I say a hearty AMEN to all you have written here, CE. You have identified THE core issue of religion: the blood of Christ or man's own puny effors].

    This reminds me of one evening at S.A.I. upstairs in the living room while we listened to Yesai read from the Pistis Sophia and how she had fallen down into the dark worlds (wasn't it Satan/Aantania that fell?), and something was written from the Psalms and I think it was Amma Isis who began reading from one of the Psalms as written in the Bible and I could see Yesai begin to squirm and then he asked if we really wanted to hear any more of that (some of us did). And then again in a few moments he again said "Do you really want to hear anymore of that? It's more of the same." On more than one occasion I suggested that there are many wonderful scriptures in the Bible to Yesai and Isis, but there was little positive response, just a kind of blank silence. As in Eckankar, the Bible is viewed as the work of an inferior god. And I now wonder if S.A.I. views this inferior god as a Shaiten (Satan) as Eckankar does. Not sure. I reflect on the friendship I enjoyed at S.A.I. and the kindness extended to me and hospitality by Yesai and Isis and Gil, but found the Pistis Sophia a very weak substitute for the Yah'shua I believe is more accurately presented in the scriptures most people use. I once mentioned the book of Isaiah to Yesai and he could say nothing against it and could see it made him very uneasy. How does one deny the book of Isaiah?

    In all of this I am not excusing the failures, excesses and terrible atrocities done in the names of Yahweh or Yah'shua/Jesus, Christianity etc. by corrupt people calling themselves "Christians." At the same time, are all Gnositcs holy and is all they wrote truly inspired? It is surprising that Yesai would post material on his websites that are the work of Rabbinic Jews, Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox christians (who he speaks of in high regard) when they all serve the god Yesai claims is a bloodthirsty god of death. But, I keep forgetting when you are a S.A.I. Gnostic, the separation of myth and reality doesn't matter. so I guess with that mindset you actually can mix it all together (what is real/unreal, true/false, Christian, Essene, Gnostic) and create your own Essene religion that all "the children of light" have been waiting for and need. But is this what we've been waiting for?

    Resident Gil one day asked Yesai Israel if he thought it was wise having chosen the last name of Israel for himself with all the negative associations it has to [the] non-Essene Israel God. Yesai thought for a moment and said it wasn't the best choice, but it had seemed good at the time. [Editor - he has not changed his name again, this time to Yesai Nasrai].

    Speaking with Yesai's sons, it became clear Yesai has not known about the Essenes and Nazoreans for a long time as Seth remembers when his father first came across them on the internet and the focus of the community began to shift. [Editor: This is correct - there wasn't a trace of Essene teaching when I knew SAI where the emphasis was Mormonism, Kabbalism and the Egyptian mystery religion]. Son Y says that "it used to be more fun in the community when Yesai would take us repelling [?] and we would go places together. But now Dad is mainly at the computer or into his history books. I think it's all pretty boring." S also says, "I'm not very interested in it. It's pretty boring to me. I don't know if any of it is true or not and there doesn't seem to be a way to find out, so why bother. I like science much better."

    On the websites and in the courses S.A.I. portrays itself as raising and teaching their children at home, but this also, is not the case. All of the school-age children attend public school. Fourteen year old Y has had difficulties at school being in the school's most secure detention for a time and about to be suspended and then he switched to another public school. I wish the children the best and Yesai as a father. I have also failed as a father. At one point I tried to leave my son to find a better life, but thankfully, my conscience vs. Gnostic reasoning would not let me remain at S.A.I. or elsewhere except closer to my son and in honest employment to his benefit and with weekly time together. I am not judging Isis, Yesai or resident Gil as evil people. I do however sincerely know that (as mentioned before) S.A.I. and especially Yesai need to start being very upfront about all they believe and practice and regarding S.A.I. history with prospects from the very start. They are intentionally concealing their positions/practices on a number of issues to help people continue to be interested in them. But in the end this will always backfire and Yesai refuses to know this.

    S.A.I. needs to be candid with all people who inquire about the gods they actually worship, about their position on same-sex relationships, about why they think Yah'shua [Jesus] really came here, that they consider the God of the bible to be a bloodthirsty god of death and destruction, that demons lurk in the meat section of the grocery store and near meat being cooked, that they claim to have the last revelations given to Mormon "prophet" Joseph Smith, that they are the true church.

    I would also ask that if you have been a former resident or visitor at S.A.I. (Sons Ahman Israel), that you would tell us about your experiences there to help us understand how things have been at various times in the past. This would be very helpful and enlightening and also save future propects time, money and false hope.

    Thanks for listening,

    CE


    Letter #21 (10 August 2001)

    Christopher, not sure if this is related to our emails and information regarding S.A.I. but the computer which I use from my employer/landlord is receiving as many as eighty attacks per day. The computer has a sophisticated defense program which monitors everything. Don't know enough about computers to determine where they are coming from, but the attacks spiked upwards beginning a week or two ago. Not sure if any are from S.A.I. or not. I remember S telling me he asked his father if he could shut your computer down. I guess time will tell. You did well with the added information on your "slander-site." Just before and after I went to live at S.A.I. I prayed your website(s) would be shut down forever. Guess I was praying in the wrong direction.

    Take care,

    CE

    P.S. How many children has Yesai fathered? Where are they? Who is Nirvana? How old are they?


    Letter #22 (10 August 2001) - to Gill

    Gil, want to thank you for your thoughts and sharing all you had to say to me. It was good and shed some light on things. If you decide to remain at S.A.I. please be sure to tell people about the Whore, that lesbianism is welcome as well as polyandrous marriage [one woman 'married' to several men]. You have a moral obligation to tell people this. Some people don't want to be in such a place and have a basic right to know, others want to be in such a place.

    Tell Isis I say hi and still like you both and wish Yesai the best. Am trying to find out how many children Yesai has fathered and by how many different women. Would like to be able to all talk together about lives and experiences at S.A.I. and in society. Would be interesting and we could learn from each other.

    I am still your friend if you want me to be. The best thing you guys can do is just be totally upfront about everything at S.A.I. now and in the past. There's much verified testimony that conflicts with Yesai. Yesai is denying important facts and happenings that have deeply harmed and hurt others, this is wrong. He needs to tell the truth. If I were you I would leave and find a career you enjoy or a more stable comunity if one to your liking can be found. But that is your choice. Please be aware of potential negative forces at S.A.I. You will know.

    Peace,

    CE


    Letter #23 (8 August 2001) - from Isis

    Eric,

    I'm disapointed in your actions, your twisted tainted view of the truth- makes me sick!

    -you pretend to be a nice person but you seem to be vindictive & petty - with many emotional problems. Your words are harmful and full of darkness. I don't understand why you would try to hurt me or my family. The words you expressed are lies & I ask you please do not contact me or my family again. I'm sadden[ed] - I thought more of you

    Isis Israel ([email protected])

    _____________

    CE's remarks:

    Please, notice again the use of the word "petty," Gilbert Clark's first line of defense: "I think you're being petty." No, the words I have spoken are not lies. I have only said what I saw at S.A.I. and what Yesai (Gilbert Clark), Isis and Gil stated to me. After much careful consideration, I decided to speak up concerning S.A.I. (Order of Nazorean Essene's) so that their lack of information given to prospective guests and member's would not be as harmful. Even though Matriarch Isis seems to indicate she no longer likes me, I still like her and Gil and also wish a good and open life for Yesai Israel (Gilbert Clark). I would have preferred to remain in friendly contact with them. Their response, sadly, is typical of Patriarch Abba Yesai, who simply stops communicating when any necessary challenge through constructive observations are presented about his attempts to implement his changing spiritual beliefs and questionable practices into a religious community of questionable motives. It's of interest to me that though they take liberty to criticize other's or other's religions, they are not able to receive criticism or simple observations from others regarding their own spiritual creations or daily habits. Has Heaven indeed comissioned S.A.I. to be a divine channel for human enlightenment? Do they have secret revelations, no one else has? At this point, it's seems very unlikely. My only concern regarding S.A.I. now is that others who may be interested in genuine historic Essene-Nazorean life or practices will not be misled, misinformed, or deceived by Sons Ahman Israel into thinking such a life exists at their private home in northern Arizona, when in fact such does not. S.A.I. is certainly free to practice their religions as they see fit, but not to willfully mislead other's and ask for gifts and donations of money for a monastery and religious community that doesn't exist. It would be very helpful to S.A.I., former members, and future prospects if Gilbert Clark (Davied Israel/Yesai Israel) would simply tell the truth about what has happened on his property through the years and simply repent for the lives that have been damaged where he may be responsible. Perhaps other children he has fathered and other former members may be located in time so we may gain further insight and put the pieces of this spiritual jigsaw puzzle together.

    CE


    Letter #24 (8 August 2001) - CE's reply to Isis

    Hi Isis, thanks for your thoughts. All of us humans are a mix of many things. If we can just be open and communicate a lot of things could be avoided. 'Petty' is a favorite word of Yesai's because he refuses to be open. I admire both of you in different ways and enjoy the websites you have created. I know you do not wish to hear from me further and I will endeavor to respect this. There are some things that are very wrong at S.A.I. and at least some denial, but I believe there is much good in you and Gil and I'm really hoping Yesai can one day just come clean about his past and the damage and hurt other people have felt. We all have failed in many ways, but we're learning. Please know that if both of you had simply honestly answered some questions I first had you could have spared yourself of me and others who have wasted your and their time, money and high hopes. But perhaps it was all meant to be and perhaps we keep receiving the lessons we have not yet fully learned. By dismissing me and others you will only be further attached to those who have been sent to provide a lesson. I am slowly learning this. But, do whatever you feel is best. At this point my only hope regarding S.A.I. is that other people will not have such high hopes and incomplete knowledge and discernment. I have no regrets about our knowing each other.

    CE


    Letter #25 (12 August 2001)

    Greatly appreciated is Brother Jim's Testimony regarding his relationship and parting with S.A.I. I had not realized the degree of problems he had experienced, especially having his course taken from him. Yesai had clearly told me the exact opposite. As you may imagine, I have had to marvel at all the twists and turns from truth on the S.A.I. path. It was kind of Brother Jim to clear his name and provided much clarity.

    Something I have not mentioned previously is that at S.A.I. the Ten Commandments are considered to be inspired by the "Jewish God of Death" and have been replaced by another set of commandments according to Yesai's correspondence course I was working on. The new set of commandments are from "the Gospel of Peace" that some report has been shown to be a forgery. It is not surprising Yesai/Davied/Gilbert Clark has rejected the ten commandments as they ask us to have no other gods (which rules out their communions with the sun god etc. Amma Isis reports having a special relationship with the sun). Regarding marriage Yesai told me "it is not the loving that is the sin, but the leaving."

    Also of a serious nature are Yesai's speculationa that the Book of Leviticus is possibly inspired by the deeply lower god-creature, Leviathan.

    The font and the hot tub are two different places at the current S.A.I. The font is no longer enclosed as Yesai reports the housing eventually fell down. The font is still there and Yesai hopes to be able to resume baptisms. The hot tub is in the main house on the first floor where there is a kind of greenhouse area for growing salad plants. It is currently not used often, but some.

    I enjoyed rototilling the garden at S.A.I. and I also worked at laundry and some pottery which [I] was happy to do. Soon after I left, Yesai posted an article on the O.N.E. website promoting till-free gardening. I am no expert on gardening, but it seems to me that most garden areas of the world require tilling of some kind because we live in a world with weeds and many of them.

    Soon after I arrived to live at S.A.I., I commented it was odd to me to live at a monastery with a TV and stereo's and video's. Soon after, Yesai and Isis began going through books and video's. Two large garbage bags of video's were taken outside, I think to be disposed of. Not sure what was being done with the books. I didn't notice any X-rated movies while at S.A.I, though some of the movies would have been considered unbeneficial at most religious communities I have previously lived at. Isis' Dad used to run a grocery store, I think in Salt Lake City, so she probably had many video's from the video section there etc.

    Well, I think this is all I have to report concerning S.A.I. I would emphasize that Yesai, Isis and Gil were kind to me and tried to be helpful, apart from the instances previously mentioned and Yesai not really being truthful and upfront with his beliefs and practices. As mentioned before, I had specific questions for Yesai and Isis before I moved there. They were clear about their position on abortion, for example, but gave me a half-truth on the same-sex issue, for example. I continue to wonder about who their Mary/Miryai magdalene goddess is, perhaps it's best I do not know. Looking more on the bright side, they and I have been helpful to each other. Yesai-Davied has been further exposed (which wouldn't be necessary if he would just tell the whole truth) and I have received another lesson in not being gullible and not trying to find salvation by going to a community to live at to be a better person. Sometimes I feel sad for Yesai, because he has some remarkable talents, but I have to conclude at this time, that he has lied in a damaging way to others, and perhaps even to himself and his current wife and resident Gil. This is kind of a sad time for me, even though I am happy with my life and son and have much to be thankful for. S.A.I. was a dream I hoped would be fulfilled. I was hoping to be a married monk, happily growing fruits and vegetables and praying and learning together as a community. Nonetheless "thy will be done" is better and it doesn't appear at this point in time, that this is what our Creator has for me, and that is good, because He is good. Peculiar, but it's sometimes hard to even recognize Yahweh as Creator now sometimes, because I was told at S.A.I. that Yahweh is a lower god and Yesu-Miryai created us and I sold myself on many things that S.A.I. teaches. The whole experience has twisted my spiritual mind some, but things are getting better. I really do hope Yesai, Isis and their family and resident Gil and other associates of S.A.I. can have a really good life.


    Letter #26 (13 August 2001)

    One day while living at S.A.I., Yesai's son Y explained some of what his Dad believes about the the right number of children for a family. An even number of children was not good but an odd number of children was good. Numerology is very important with Yesai. He has compiled a very thick book, like a dictionary, listing the spiritual number sum of thousands of names and words. He encouraged me to pick out a new name based upon a good spiritually beneficial number like 111 or 888. You will notice his "Faith and Gnosis 111" course intentionally has "111."

    CE


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