There I reconnected with an aspect of integrity - integrity to ones own soul - that I had compromised over the years in order to be a man-pleaser, which started me on a renewed spiritual journey.
The following day I had a dream in which a wolf appeared. But I saw the wolf for what it really was - nothing at all. The power that had intimidated me for years lost all its credibility when I saw it for what it was. In the dream it was in the house I grew up in as a teen - the wolf was in the corner of the living room. It new that I knew what it was and it was afraid. It whimpered. But seeing that it was cornered, and knowing that a cornered animal will fight to the death, instead of engaging it, I stepped back so that it had a clear passage out the back door. As soon as it saw that I did not mean to hurt it and was giving it a way out, it fled out the door and into the beyond.
I was different after that. A renewed courage came back to me. I felt strong in my heart and ready for combat. What I had before seen as intimidating I now saw in a totally different light.
Sharing Common Realities
How then, I asked myself, can an identical reality be 'seen' differently by different people? And what does this mean for us as societal creatures attempting to both live together as well as share the same realities? The answer is simple: we can only share the same reality when we share the same medium of revelation, visual and mental lenses, and experience: the template of revelation is the Bible and the substance of that revelation is the Ruach haQodesh.
If we view the same thing and come to different conclusions about it, it is because we are viewing it - in part or in whole - through the psyche or nefesh. Pride would like us to believe that the differences in apprehension are because of something mysteriously wonderful called 'individuality' or 'personality' until we pause and realise that by 'personality' we are, in fact, describing independent 'self', 'I' or 'ego'.
Where You're Supposed to Be
Last Yom Chamashee morning (Thursday) Yah'shua said to me audibly:
"You can never discover who you are until you discover where you're supposed to be".
In other words, if we are standing on a false ground of reality, that false reality cannot throw back a reflection to show us where we came from, thus enabling us to identify ourselves. If we stand on the ground of Messiah we at once discover our source, identity and purpose, because He is our Creator. If we stand on any other ground, be it secular or religious, we will receive conflicting and confusing images back. A woman committing adultery will be standing on another kind of false ground because she was made in the image of her husband and only he can provide the identity image which she needs.
The Body of Messiah Changes
The collective Body of Messiah differs from generation to generation. The body of believers in this the first decade of the 21st century is entirely different from the Body that existed 50 years ago. There have been enomous changes, for good and evil. In many ways the Body, as it exists in any one point of time, is like the set-up in male and female brains. The Body, no-one will deny, is fragmented, with different systems of thought. But not only that, there is then the difference between left- and right-handed brains.
The Two Sides of the Brain: Judah and Joseph
The left side of the brain is very much associated with verbal, logical and analytical thinking. It represents linear, mathematical thinking. This part of our brains is highly developped at the expense of the right side in the modern Western world. This is what most people admire, worship and seek to imitate in others. Atheism seeks its justification almost exclusively from this aspect of consciousness-awareness. Here we analyse Torah and Scripture in general. I would go so far as to call this the 'Messianic' or 'Judah' side of the human mind.
The right side, by contrast, is associated with visual, spacial, perceptual and intuitive information. Processing is non-linear and non-sequential. The right brain looks at the 'whole picture' and integrates the parts so that they properly relate to the whole. This is properly viewed as the artistic, creative aspect of man. I call this the 'Evangelical' or 'Joseph' side of the brain. Here we process data collected from our interaction with Yahweh through the Ruach haQodesh and it is here we examine the visions of seership, dreams and revelation in general.
Gender and the Brain
Many wrongly suppose that the left side of the brain is 'male' and the right 'female'. That's only partly true. Males are certainly more disposed to, and comfortable with, the left. But men have right-sides too. And the same is true - but in reverse - in females. As we all know women are more than capable of analytical thinking and men are more than able to think holistically. But it is not just a question of identical brains, different uses of the left and right sides of the brain. The asymmetry is biological too. For instance, there is a region in the Cortex called the IPL (Inferior-Parietal Lobule) which is much larger in men than in women. Furtherfore, the left side of the IPL is bigger in men than in women, and in women the right side is larger than in the men, though not so marked. What, you may be wondering, does the IPL 'do' exactly? It's where we process mathematics. The bigger the IPL, the more mathematical you are. Some areas of the brain are larger in women than in men - for instance, in those areas connected with language. Is it any accident that the female Ruach haQodesh confers the gift of Tongues or the ability to speak supernaturally in Foreign Languages?
I have spent the better part of the last year in the left-side of the brain until I became 'saturated', as it were, which I attribute in large measure to active fellowshipping with Messianics, most of whom are from the House of Judah. In the process of doing this, I lost some vital right-side connections which I began yearning for which has characterised a large part of my ministry before.
During the worst times of my illnesses, while things were being stirred up, when a shoal of mental images were flying through my mind, I would be praying to Yahweh, and quite suddenly a very powerful picture would suddenly fly through the shoal with an almighty 'thud', as it were. On one occasion I saw myself violently vomiting, as I had been in hospital, to be followed by a second equally intense vision which 'arrived' with a violent 'thud' like the one before it, like time-stamps or mental handles to be grasped to bring order.
Vision of the Sunken Coach: The Perishing Ministry
It was during this time that I was praying about a Messianic ministry and some of the concerns I had about it when once again a powerful vision forced itself to the fore and I saw a flood that was washing away everything in its path. All that was visible in these swirling waters was a modern-like coach or bus in which only a small part of the driver's side of the driver's cabin was still poking above the water. It had all but sunk. Yahweh was showing me that this ministry (represented by the coach), which is currently riding a wave, will eventually be washed away leaving few, if any, survivors. I saw noone living. As things stand today, you would probably conclude that a different fate awaits it, but Yahweh knows the hearts of all men and knows the beginning and end of all things. Time will tell.
The Dying Systems
The spiritual state of the churches and messianic assemblies is currently dire. Either the Messianic world is pontificating over new discoveries in the Torah or it's Evangelical rival is partying and having music and dancing concerts in the flesh. People are either so absorbed with what they might become that they forget what they already are...in Messiah - or they are so lost in the fleshy pursuits that they have totally missed the way altogether. When the trials come, they soon discover what they are basing their faith on. And the trials are currently here.
Trials Have a Purpose
There are trials and tribulations everywhere. Almost everyone I know seems to be going through them currently, and Yahweh is showing no respect of labels - believers and unbelievers, messianics and evangelicals, are being tossed equally roughly, as Yahweh's wind blows mightily on every manmade thing to knock it down.
Believers are desperately in search of solid ground where they can plant their feet. Every pretender to authority is being shaken. Trials only come because our feet are misplaced or because Yahweh wants to make us stronger. Someone once said that "a faith that can't be tested isn't a faith worth having!" And that is true.
So the question remains: why the trials? Trials are meant to increase our faith in Yahweh the greater our needs, the greater our trials then the greater our dependence on Him and usually it's in this state of utter dependence upon Him that we enjoy the deepest, most intimate times with our Heavenly Father. Honestly, can any trial be a price too much for such eternal good?
Greater Trials About to Come
I know some of you are wondering at my condition as I speak to you today. I feel pretty weak and I almost didn't come to speak to you today because I am so worn out but Yahweh has laid what I am telling you heavily upon my heart. And I apologise if I am a little disjointed at times.
Vision of the Fire and the Tormado
Yesterday morning Yahweh showed me the wolf, as I have related to you. But that was not all. Next He showed me a vision.
I was standing outside and looking at a raging fire in the distance many miles away. This huge forest fire was burning away and advancing at great speed. I knew that there was some time left but that it would eventually hit my home and be unquenchable. Or did I? What would you conclude if you saw a raging fire? Those of you from California or the Cape Province of South Africa may have up-to-date firsthand experience of forest fires because there has been great destruction in these areas. The fires are still raging in California in some places weeks after they began. So I looked at this fire in the vision, and I thought to myself: 'It is just a matter of time before it comes here to consume everything up.' Then I turned away, wishing to share what I was seeing with whoever was with me, and when I turned to look back the fire was gone and in its place was a huge twister or tornado. The twister had put the fire out but represented its own menace! Here were two destructive powers, the second cancelling or destroying the first. Yahweh has historically used an enemy of one of Israel's enemies to destroy that enemy threatening the well-being of Israel.
The vision stunned me. Yahweh was showing me many things simultaneously. Over the years we have been subject to all sorts of threats from people wishing our harm or destruction. Only yesterday I had a threatening telephone call. We seem to have been through one storm after another over the last few years yet here we are still and here we will remain.
Elijah Makes a Run for It
"Then He said, 'Go out, and stand on the mountain before Yahweh.' And behold, Yahweh passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before Yahweh, but Yahweh was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but Yahweh was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but Yahweh was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice" (1 Kings 19:11-12, NKJV).
You all know this passage of scripture. This was Elijah hiding away in a cave at Mount Sinai - at the place of the original Shavu'ot where the Torah was given. It was like he was trying to find some sort of foetal refuge, a place familiar amidst the storms of the reign of terror of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel back home. We have not, however, been called to be a part of the Shavu'ot dispensation, which is even now in its death throes. We're called to Sukkot. Those who try to rebuild at Mt.Sinai are going to find it a desolate wasteland spiritually-speaking. Yahweh isn't there anymore - He's moved on. Today we must meet Him at Sukkot.
Preparing for War
Today I am preparing for another war but I had to be taken where I am now to get ready for it. This has happened many times in my life so it is not unfamiliar. As I have said a hundred times, we are soldiers in Yahweh's army and have to be ready for deployment instantly when called.
A friend of mine today reminded me that "the bigger the Goliath, the bigger the Saviour in us". Our problem is we just don't see how big Yah'shua really is, and most don't even believe He is IN them. Our faith to 'see' His greatness has to be built up, apparently, by dealing with one level of adversity at a time on an installment basis, the size of the installments being a direct function of our faith, or lack thereof. I believe that a part of this problem of a lack of trust is all the other junk that's inside that throws up 'Wizzard of Oz'-type smokescreens - false and counterfeit and illusiory and threateningly larger-than-life things are only ever known by way of familiarity with the genuine. Hence the importance of continually pursuing all-truth - and I don't just mean doctrinally, important though that is - but the truth about our own need for integrity. We must pursue the perfect character, as He commanded, and get all the lies and spiritual junk out of our systems.
Valley of dry bones-type miracles occur when the way is clear of those character defects that are shaped by sin and serve the enemy's interests. These include fear of the flesh and those 'wolves' whose howl is worse than their bite. I believe we are on the edge of another mighty shake-up which will determine where our true foundations lie. Choices will have to be made. Theology won't save, only raw emunah-faith. Elijah was no theologising on the way to, or at, Sinai. He went to hear Yahweh's voice and to get reassurance for his mission at a time when his faith gave way to fear.
"Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to Elohim must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith" (Heb.11:6-7, NKJV).
The kind of emunah-faith Yahweh now wants of us has dire consequences for those who do not have it because, as Paul reminds us, when Noah responded in obedient faith and built the ark, his labour not only made him an heir to righteousness but also "condemned the world" and whoever was in it, inevitably including his own relatives. Our obedient response to truth condemns anyone who will not be likewise obedient making the nature of the choice absolute, eliminating all grey areas and all neutral zones. There were those who were either on the ark or off it. There was no third category of 'one foot one, one foot of'. That, I suspect, is the critical hinge of choice - eliminating once and for all the mythical third option to which people cling in vain when they refuse to make a choice one way or the other.
I have, during these days, been reviewing what Yahweh has revealed to me over the last few years and deciding whether I still adhere to those revelations or not. I do. My vision of the Josephite Echad Doctrine - of the narrow Messianic Evangelical Path - is even stronger now that I have been intensely fellowshipping with the House of Judah these past few months. The storm that is coming is going to sweep away yet more of the self-pretentiousness of religious men and women.
Inevitably, in following the Elohim of Israel, the time comes when one has to choose between what is closest to one's bosom in the world and what is in the Father's perfect will. Once Yahweh closes the ark door, the choice is made and you're either inside the ark or outside of it. Attempting to rescue loved ones outside who refuse to come in is foolhardly though many will do it and perish along with them. Are we ready to make so absolute a choice? Will we resort to carnal rationalisations in order to justify a path not ordained of El Elyon or will we, finally, like Noah, do what is right? Will we seek the coward's solution and follow the advice of Mrs. Job and 'roll over and die', refusing to choose at all?
The ultimate test of character - the revelation of whether we have integrity or not - is made at such junctures. I have a feeling we are in for a few more surprises, good and bad, that will make the Third Wave look like a Victorian tea party.
May you all be blessed as we watch Yahweh's mighty hand at work, in faith, to go into his fire to be blessed or burned up. Amen.
As related in Worthy Brief, 8 August 2008
Bill Banks, Overcoming Blocks to Healing (Impact Christian Books, Kirkwood , MO: 2002), pp.75-76.
Dances with Wolves starring Kevin Costner and Mary McDonnel - see review