The day when our Paschal lamb Yah'shua would have been killed, I was given a timely experience. It was very emotive, and has deeply resonated with me since.

Again and again I am being led back to the events that took place in my life seven years ago. One of those was the signing away of my life to Yahweh. As I walked down a river-side street in Belfast, Northern Ireland, I came across a huge memorial with hundreds of names engraved upon them. I had walked down this particular street hundreds of times and knew I was seeing a vision. I noticed that there was a gap in between two of the names, as if a name was missing. I asked “Whose are these names?” and the reply was given to me, “These are the names of those who will die for me.”

Then when I asked why there was a gap in between two names I was told “Because you haven't yet made that decision...”

I knew in my heart what was being asked of me, and I made my mark on the memorial with a stone, cutting into the rock.

As we go through times and seasons, and as we walk along the way, we reach various thresholds, like the curtains in the temple. It is up to us to make the decision, to freely choose to go there of our own will. There is a reason for that.

When Elijah threw his cloak over Elisha, and Elisha ran to follow after him, he was confronted by these words from Elijah:

“Go back again, for what have I done to you?” (1 Kings 19:19). <>P

The joys and triumph of our walk go hand in hand with our deep anguish over our equalled misrepresentation before the world and other believers. The fellowship we share with Him and a very small number others is often times contrasted by a deep gulf of loneliness that comes with being a remnant. I have prayed most of my life for a genuine community of believers which we can be apart of, which like the first believing communities, would shake the whole earth! But the assemblies and prayer meeting which shook the earth were blighted by constant periods of persecution. Who would choose that?

Like Elijah, his pain and sorrow of the gifting, the calling, and the walk, is intertwined with the blessing. It is a double-edged sword which cannot be broken. With the blessing comes pain, and with the pain comes blessing. That is why we are all given a choice. Everyone in Messianic Israel is capable of being a prophet, but not everyone wants to go through what it takes to get there. This was Moses' cry “O that all Yahweh's people were prophets! that Yahweh would put His Spirit upon them!” (Numbers 11.29).

As I went through the initial phases of the temple cleansing, and have entered into the Sanctuary, I am aware of the words of Elijah, “What have I done to you?” What has He done to us? Do we even know? Are we aware? Are we prepared? There is a great cost to living in His sanctuary, the great cloud of witnesses around us testifies to that. We are here now, do we wish to remain? Yes, there is a great and immeasurable blessing to being in His Holy Place, but are we ready for what it may cost us? In the Holy Place we can have peace unlike those in the courts, but in the world we will still have tribulation, as Yah'shua told His disciples. In the Holy Place we will experience miracles and wonders, but in the world we will still have trouble.

He does not want anyone to enter into these coming days without this knowledge. We all have to make the decision to stay and to follow, or to return, each man to his own possession and to his own city, figuratively of course.

"For there were many in the congregation that were not sanctified: therefore the Levites had the charge of the killing of the passovers for every one that was not clean, to sanctify them unto Yahweh. For a multitude of the people, even many of Ephraim, and Manasseh, Issachar, and Zebulun, had not cleansed themselves, yet did they eat the passover otherwise than it was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, The good Master pardon every one that prepareth his heart to seek Elohim, Yahweh-Elohim of his fathers, though he be not cleansed according to the purification of the sanctuary. and Yahweh hearkened to Hezekiah, and healed the people" (2 Chronicles 30:17-20).

In this season of Chag HaMatzah, there is a wide group of people gathered internationally to remember Yah'shua. Some are celebrating the pagan unholy days of Easter. Others are following rabbinical calendars. Few have been cleansed. Like Hezekiah, it is our calling to pray and intercede for those who have shown up. Yahweh is the discerner of all hearts. If we are commanded to love and pray for our enemies, then how much more so should we be praying for the apostate branches of Israel be they Messianic Jews, Pentecostal or Methodist. The Spirit of Lawlessness is growing stronger every day, elements of apostasy are being fired from all directions and no one is immune. That is why we are instructed to put on armour.

When we come to the second/late Passover, will we pray and intercede for those who are unknowingly observing without having gone through the cleansing? Love covers a multitude of sins! I already know one person who has told me they are keeping the second passover without any prior knowledge of our doing so.

"Now when all this was finished, all Israel that were present went out to the cities of Judah, and brake the images in pieces, and cut down the groves, and threw down the high places and the altars out of all Judah and Benjamin, in Ephraim also and Manasseh, until they had utterly destroyed them all. Then all the children of Israel returned, every man to his possession, into their own cities" (2 Chronicles 31:1).

All of these reflections were brought about by something I experienced, as said at the beginning that deep experience was the morning of 2 April (Aviv 14). I will tell you what happened, but know this, it was one of those situations what was so surreal it was like a dream, but I know it actually happened. I can only give my word that it happened.

At 5.45am I woke up to take our youngest son to the bathroom. When I got back into bed it was still quite dark outside, I lay down on my right side, and then all these things happened at once: I could see nothing but light, and the voice of Yahweh called to me and said “Sarah, it's time to come to me and be transformed”, my spirit began to lift out of my body, and I could feel the last speeding beats of my heart in my chest. I was flooded with the Ruach haQodesh (Holy Spirit) with no flesh to limit His presence in my life any more. The Shalom was overflowing, the love and joy was surrounding, so much that it almost brings me to tears just thinking about it. I was His and there is no other way to explain it.

My initial thought was that I was being taken away, that my Husband would awake and find that I had passed away in the night beside him. Obviously that didn't happen. I asked to remain. I asked Him “Father, please, let me remain and I will labour for you.”

I couldn't see Him, but somehow I felt Him smile. His hand gently guided my spirit back down into my body, I took a deep breath and fell fast asleep. In fact, I didn't even remember what happened until I was eating my breakfast and it all came flooding back to me halfway through a mouthful of porridge.

What did it mean? What was the purpose of this?

Firstly, I believe He wanted to provoke a reaction in me. When I was being taken away, I made a decision and asked to stay. I know I am here and living in this time because I made the choice to.

I also have realised that I am not living on my time, I am living on His time, time He has graced me with. It isn't really any different for anyone else. We are all living on His time, and if we choose to remain, our lives are not our own any longer, we are His bond-servants until the end. As we are going through the [second] exodus, think about these words: “I will make you pass under the rod, and I will bring you into the bond of the covenant” (Ezekiel 20.37). We are being brought into this bond now, if we will yield ourselves to it.

What else? The Sukkot anointing is here! I felt it when I was removed from my flesh! It is like "the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments" (Psalm 133.2). The anointing is here, but it does not touch the flesh! Faith activates it as we walk and live in His sanctuary! Oh that all would be given this understanding, I truly was transformed by it!

As we move closer towards the coming days Yahweh does not want us to be unaware of anything. He blesses us, but the world persecutes us. Who hasn't experienced this? Who hasn't been in the deep pools of His revival, restoration and revelation at one time, only for people to point and condemn you as a liar? The enemy has many accusers, but have we been found innocent? At the beginning of last month I had the dream about the courthouse. Towards the close of that month I had a second dream. I was in a similar courthouse, my family were there, gathered to hear my trial. I sat in a prison cell with my hands and feet in chains. Men walked about with giant flame-throwers to test those who were coming to trial. The person in front of me went out of the cell and into the courtroom and was cross-examined, then led out of the courthouse. Then my time came. My trial was blanked out, but I was allowed to see the verdict, INNOCENT!

Whatever has been thrown at us, and whatever will be thrown at us, remember that word...INNOCENT! The accuser stands before Yahweh night and day with tall tales and stories, but remember what we are, INNOCENT! Even if every single person in your life doubts what YOU KNOW to be true because He brought you to it, Endure! Do not turn back. Those days may have come in the past (I know they have in my own life), and they may be in the future. Remember who He is, hold onto the testimonies He has given us all, stand tall and strong like pillars in His temple. The gates of hell will not prevail against what He has built in us and around us.

I would like to finish by sharing a word given to me, yet again, seven years ago. At the very beginning of the prophetic season I found myself in during the early months of 2008, I was at a prayer meeting and had a vision of the remnant at the end of a period tribulation, and the words spoken to me I wrote on the only blank page I could find, on a page in my bible just before the book of Amos.

A time will come when [Yah] almighty will stand and his most honourable servants will bow at His feet... “These servants have been shaped in the fire, they withstood the floods I sent, I shook them limb from limb, tore them apart and made them broken. Yet they still worship at my feet with worship that is humble and pure. These servants never gave up, they cried out to me and held on. I will take them out of their suffering, out of their despair, for they are the most loyal. They will be kings, they know justice, and they know truth. You are set apart, to be different from the world. Will you withstand the fire and hold on in the floods? Or will you be swept away? I tell you, no reward is greater than serving me and loving me. So hold on.”’