I'm sure many people have problems imagining what it is like to live in a polygamous relationship, especially if one expects to be happy at the same time. I suppose some singles have similar problems when they think of monogamous marriage as well - but when monogamy is discussed, that lifestyle has a great advantage; people know what it is! I mean, there are hundreds and thousands of books, films, songs, stories and so forth that inform us of what it is like to be monogamously married - polygamy has never been spoken much of.

That is what I will try to do here. When Yah'shua (Jesus) spoke to people about things they were unfamiliar with, He used to liken them to things that they were used to. He would talk of sowing to illustrate what preaching the word was like, and of a precious pearl to give people an idea of what heaven was like.

Well, in order to explain what polygamy is like - I will use music. To learn to live in a polygamous relationship is like learning to play an instrument. I used to play the violin for a short time when I was a child - so I will use string-instruments for my parable.

Everyone who has learned to play an instrument (or learned anything, for that matter) knows that it requires some faith. If you pick up a violin for the first time, and start playing it, it will not render a beautiful sound - most likely you will get a screech which sounds a bit like a cat being tortured. You must believe that one day you will be able to play properly.

It's the same way when one enters into a polygamous relationship - all your previous perceptions of romance and personal idolatry go down the drain (both for the man and the women). The man can no longer satisfy himself by adoring his one wife, and being adored in return - there are more persons to consider - and the same happens to the wives. And you must believe that one day, it will all come naturally to you.

When you learn to play an instrument, you after a while learn the notes, and how to play them. And the music you produce is pleasant to listen to.

The same happens in the polygamous relationship: maybe you get to know how to be a polygamously married person. And you are happily harmonious with your circumstances.

You play easily together with your violin-teacher - he adapts to your need at all times, and you play the same tune at all times. He doesn't only teach you - he has other students as well. But then you must learn how to play together with the others, who play different tunes of the same song - making a symphony. The teacher also plays the solo part, and all follow the instructions of the conductor.

You and your husband are finely tuned and have a 'melody' of your own, which is adapted to you. (This is actually still monogamy - only your husband has to spend time with the other wives as well). Finally all your different parts in the marriage are merged, and all work together. All the wives strive to honor their husband, who is their head. He does his best for them - and all heed the directions of their Lord and Saviour, Yah'shuah the Messiah (Jesus Christ) who set the example of how we should live our lives.

When this happens you no longer need separate time - or at least not often (all have to receive a bit sometimes) - and you will be the most content when all are present and in harmony. If one returns to initial problems - like jealousy - all are affected and try to help ... just like a violin will ruin the concert if it starts screeching. No matter how well the others play it will still not be pleasant to listen to.

The most amazing thing, is that when all are playing this God-composed melody, you will want nothing less. Who wants to return to playing alone with one teacher when they have experienced the beauty of the symphony? And the same is true in the polygamous marriage - all become dependent on each other and sense a vacuum when any of the others are missing. One of the instruments is gone. And new ones are always welcome!

Playing an instrument takes training. The same is the case when one learns to live with people, and especially as intimately as in marriage. But once the Holy Spirit is allowed to flow unrestricted amongst us (the music) it is incomparable, and once one has tasted it, one never wants to stop. Praised be Yahweh-Elohim, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who loves us even before we love Him - after all He composed the entire symphony long before we started to play our instruments!

Author: KMK