What's All This About Polygamy?
Readers of nccg_concern's anti-NCCG website cannot fail to have noticed how the subject of polygamy has been underlined, emboldened, italicised and generally blown out of all proportion in order to scare. The purpose of this short article is to demystify this topic and give some background information. People tend to be frightened by the unknown especially when attempts are made by scare-mongers like nccg_concern and the gutter-press to magnify and distort what are, to this ministry, peripheral issues.
Polygamy and the Political World
To begin with, polygamy (more accurately called polygyny) is not something 'new' like legal same-sex partnerships. It's as old as man himself with a history going back thousands of years. According to one source, of the 849 different human societies on this planet, 708 accept and regard polygamous marriage as normal and acceptable. This doesn't, of course, mean that these polygamous societies are enlightened or even desirable, just that there is no 'mystery' about them. What it does mean is that Western societies, where a once monogamy-only cultural mindframe existed or may (in a few instances) continue to exist, are in a minority relative to other cultures. Additionally, the large influx of immigrants to North America, Australasia, and especially into Europe since the last war has meant that there are, de facto, millions of polygamists now living there, principally from Arabic and African cultures, though many from Asian too. The United States and Canada have their own indigenous sub-culture of over 80,000 people living this lifestyle, that shows no signs of decreasing in the future. The general consensus there is that it is just a matter of time before polygamy is legalised in the wake of official recognition of same-sex partnerships or marriages. It is being - or has already been - decriminalised in Canada, Holland, South Africa and Colombia, which will set a precendent throughout the rest of the West. There is talk in countries like Sweden of totally redefining marriage to include monogamy, polygyny, polyandry, and polyamory alongide same-sex partnerships. Whether one agrees with these trends or not is, politically-speaking, besides the point: we live in a world where many different kinds of human partnership are becoming legal and normal. Because so many people live polygyny, many believe that this lifestyle will be included in the statute books next.
Obviously, acceptance of polygyny or monogamy does not mean acceptance of all polygynous or monogamous marriages. Monogamy may be a good and honourable estate but not all monogamists are good and honourable. The same must logically be true of polygamy as far as the practitioners of the lifestyle are concerned. One thing that frightens people ignorant of the social demographics of polygamy - because of its secrecy in the West (because it is outlawed and sometimes persecuted) - is the hostile propaganda that is heard from certain quarters claiming that the lifestyle is by definition 'abusive' and/or 'unequal'. What is clear when serious scholarly reports of the lifestyle are studied is that abuse in human relationships, where different lifestyles are treated as co-equal, is a function of a whole cluster of different social and religious factors and is not necessarily a function of the lifestyle itself. From a secular-political point-of-view, what becomes important is that there is total freedom of choice and that the state has an avenue of access to protect potential and actual victims of abuse. The Dutch do not, at any rate, seem too concerned. Recently, two bisexual women and a heterosexual man registered their polygynous partnership in the full glare of the media and few, if anyone, batted an eyelid. A similar response may be expected in many other Western countries when the Dutch are finally imitated.
From a political point-of-view, at least in a liberal Western democracy, what is paramount is the right of the individual to live the lifestyle he or she wants and consents to. People are already de facto living the polygamous lifestyle in Europe and North America and there isn't a lot that government, that professes pluralism, can do about it other than to modify the law to meet the wishes of those happy with it. When the lifestyle does become 'official' (it is semi-official in Holland already), government will naturally want to include polygamists within the framework of social protection that already includes monogamists, and those in common-law marriages and same-sex partnerships.
Polygamy, Judaism and Christianity
In my article, What is a Christian?, I explained the difference between different kinds of 'Christian', and made a clear distinction between human tradition and Bible teaching. Whilst it is true that the overwhelming majority of Christian traditions reject the polygamous lifestyle, it is not true that the Bible does. For a biblical exegesis from an evangelical Christian perspective, click here (detailed) and here (simple summary). Polygamy was outlawed by the Roman Church in the fourth century A.D. following the victory of Catholic teachings on the primacy of celibacy, and almost all Christian break-offs and denominations since have followed suit. Only in recent times have different groups, with a variety of approaches, sought to reinstitute the lifestyle, with mixed results. Judaism outlawed polygamy in 1000 A.D. though Yemeni and North African Jews still live this lifestyle today.
Polygamy and NCCG
In a recent statement for a Swedish newspaper that asked about our marriage beliefs and practices, I wrote the following:
"N. Marriage. We believe that men and women should be free to choose their own marriage partners, that parents have the duty to guide their children, but the final choice is the children's. We accept that people not of our religious society are free to choose the lifestyle they want, biblical and non-biblical. We do not believe in forced, arranged, under-age or child marriages. In those countries where we make converts where such practices are cultually accepted, we give the converts the right to separate if they have been compelled to marry under duress and against their free will. We do not believe in circumcision, male or female (clitorectomy), and whilst we leave male cicumcision as a choice for male converts, we forbid clitorectomy which we consider to be mutilation and an abuse of women. We believe circumcision belongs to the Old Covenant and not the New and in this respect are fundamentally different from Messianic Jews. Because the Bible accepts polygamy, we have accepted polygamous families into membership in countries such as Kenya where we have a number of autonomous congregations where this lifestyle is commonly practiced. If the polygamous marriage was arranged or forced, we give the women the choice to leave if they so choose because we do not believe in any kind of marriage by force. Some of our initial polygamous congregations left our association because of our insistance that the practice of cliterectomy be stopped. Our policy is not dissimilar to that of the Swedish State which some years ago allowed a native Swede to marry two East Africans because this was the desire of the parties concerned and because this was an accepted part of that culture. Even though polygamy is beginning to be legalised in the West as an alternative to monogamy (Holland has decriminalised it), along with same-sex partnerships, we discourage this practice as a general rule and will continue to do so even should Western countries legalise it"
We believe that in the current immoral and promiscuous climate that obtains generally in the West and worldwide today, with divorce rates as high as 65% (in Sweden) and averaging about 45-50% elswhere in North America and the rest of Western Europe, that nearly all Western Christians are unequipped for the polygamous lifestyle. Macho male and feministic female attitudes also make it an unrealistic prospect. We also believe that much of the existing polygamy that is practiced elsewhere is at a low standard and that polygamous families coming to us require considerable spiritual re-education to meet the biblical standards. Consequently, we strongly discourage the lifestyle generally and adhere to the belief that it will not become widespread again until after the return of Yah'shua, and then only in the nation of Israel. We are therefore not interested in promoting it and teach that the ideal marriage state in these times is heterosexual monogamy. Such materials that we have published in the past on polygamy exist solely for those already living the lifestyle (nearly everyone who lives polygamously was converted to NCCG whilst already living this lifestyle, nearly all of whom live in Africa), to theologically sensitise people to the biblical teaching and what is to come, and strongly discourage the rest.
Because NCCG holds to the sanctity of the home, and believes, as Christians have always maintained throughout two millennia, that there is a necessary wall of privacy between it and the outside world, it is NCCG policy never to discuss the private lives of its members publically, including neither acknowledging nor denying that any of our people live a polygamous lifestyle. This goes for the majority who live monogamy as well as for the small polygamous minority in Africa and elsewhere. In this we are uncompromising. Please see NCCG's Guidelines for Responding to Critics and Journalists for a statement in this regard. There will always be critics who wish to mud-rake, sensationalise, accuse, create fear and suspicion, and spread gossip. All those who love their families will understand and accept our desire to protect our loved ones from such destructive and mean-spirited persons.
Conclusion
For members of NCCG, polygamy is a peripheral subject like communal living because it concerns only a tiny minority of our people. When it comes to marriage and family life, we are almost exclusively interested in the monogamous way which is reflected in our writings and discussions. The polygamous writings that do exist are deliberately separated from these to emphasise that policy. And whilst we believe polygamy will be important for millennial Israel, after Yah'shua has physically returned, and Messianic Israel is firmly established in the Holy Land as a theocratic government, we most definitely do not believe it to be important for our own time or for the great bulk of our people. Our focus, then, is on the monogamous nuclear family, and it is to that lifestyle that we point all our converts and investigators.
Recent attempts by the press and malicious parties to highlight this lifestyle with a view to portraying NCCG as a "polygamous cult" are therefore both misleading and dishonest.
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